I suggest you address the biggest problem that offers the most amount of pain and frustration to the parent.

The opportunity to get what you want and need is around you right now. The Law of Polarity states that if you have a need, the way to fulfill that need must also be present.

The problem is, opportunity doesn’t actually knock. It hides…in plain sight.

Opportunity doesn’t want to hide. It’s there to give you what you need, but you can’t see it because your subconscious mind doesn’t want you to.

Your Subconscious Mind Controls Your Perception

Your subconscious is designed to keep you safe by keeping you where you are and preserving the beliefs you were programmed with. It does this by projecting a reality that is in harmony with those beliefs—a “reality” that also controls your perception and interpretation of outside events.

If an opportunity around you threatens those beliefs, your subconscious will prevent you from seeing it at all or will convince you that it’s harmful.

The Opportunity I Didn’t See

I experienced this myself. For two years, I had an opportunity in my life that would lead to tripling my income in less than a year, but I didn’t see it.

This particular opportunity not only challenged the negative beliefs around money that I’d been programmed with, but it also required me to face a very deep fear.

For two years, every week, part of my job on the loading dock had me talking to the driver of a fuel truck. When I reflected on his job, I thought, “Why would anyone want to drive a ‘bomb on wheels’?”

I saw it that way because a tragic fire when I was very young killed my uncle and two cousins, and my whole family was afraid of fire. My mother wouldn’t even allow candles in the house.

That fear controlled and limited my life in ways I didn’t even realize. In order to begin to have the life I wanted, I had to vanquish it.

Fortunately, my motivation to leave the unsafe situation my family was in, living next door to a drug dealer, was strong enough that when the driver told me about a job opening, I didn’t dismiss it, as I had in the past. In fact, I challenged him, making him bring in a pay stub because I didn’t believe he made as much as he did.

Long story short, I took the job, and in less than a year went from $20,000 to $60,000. Not long after that, another opportunity led me to what I’m doing today.

Action not Therapy

The bottom line is if you don’t have what you need or want, some fear and/or belief is holding you back.

Now, don’t run to therapy and try to figure out what that is. Instead, look around for the opportunity that will have you face that fear, build a new belief system, and give you what you want in life.

In order to do that, however, you have to be able to see the opportunity that your subconscious is hiding from you.

How do you see what you can’t see? I’ll walk you through that next time.

You are correct that no matter what your product or service, you are in the business of sales. Sales is the only thing that causes money to move, and it must be happening everyday in your business.

Congratulations on taking the first step to overcoming the need for validation by recognizing that you have the problem. It can be very difficult to overcome unless you really want to overcome it.

In the last article, I asked you to identify why you have the particular bills that you do.

Today, I’m asking about a different why.

Why do you want to change? What is your motivation for up-leveling your life and business?

I ask you that because in order to keep moving forward despite any difficulties or fear, you must have a compelling reason.

You must become aware of a strong motivation within you to make a positive change, and then keep that “why” front and center.

Otherwise, if you don’t have that strong motivation, you might just give up on your dream.

My “Why”

Before I made my first breakthrough, I was living next door to a drug dealer. It was a very unsafe environment for my family, and I had to get us all out of there.

I had debt, bills, problems and pain, and I didn’t want that to be my legacy to my family. I also was being exposed to success principles, and I didn’t want to go to my grave without finding out if they were as powerful as they seemed.

Your Why?

What is your strong motivation to change?

Do you long to leave a worthy legacy for your children and others? Do you feel a calling you have to fulfill? Are you trying to get away from a toxic environment?

I know an author who worked 10 years on a book about an ancestor. Her “why” was, “If not me, then who?” If she didn’t vindicate her ancestor, probably no one ever would.

The truth is, that statement is relevant for everyone. If you don’t do what you’re called to do, no one else will. Like Martha Graham said, if you block the life force that wants to come through you, it will never exist.

And if you don’t connect with a deep motivation for expressing that life force, you may give up when the path becomes difficult or your subconscious creates chaos around you.

Don’t let that happen. Look within and ask yourself: “Why do I want to better my life?”

Keep It Prominent

Once you know your “why,” think about it often.

Amplify it, extoll it, honor it in the ways that make sense to you. Make a video or audio recording where you talk about it in full, and then listen to it every week. Regularly engage in fantasy where you see your “why” play out. Make a visual representation of it, such as by putting up pictures in your office of your children or grandchildren.

Whatever you choose, keep your why front and center. That way, when you’re experiencing difficulty or you have to do something challenging, it will pop immediately to mind.

For instance, early on when I encountered resistance to making sales calls, the ugly mug of my drug-dealer neighbor would appear in my mind’s eye. You can bet, I immediately picked up that phone!

What could elicit the same response from you?

What is the “why” that will keep you barreling toward your goal?

Got it? Leave a comment below to share YOUR “why” with me. Perhaps together we’ll inspire others to do the same.

And the truth is, if you don’t find enough value in what you have to offer to charge for it, others won’t see the value either.

One of the most overlooked parts of a sales conversation actually happens AFTER the sale has been made.

If you had the choice between a deposit of $5 million into your bank account or a change in your belief system to include the knowing that you can have whatever amount of money you want, which would you choose?

Most people would choose the $5 million, but you would be wise to pick the latter because, if that money were put into your account and you didn’t change your underlying beliefs, you’d be back to where you are today pretty quickly.

In fact, the majority of lottery winners end up broke several years later.

That’s because the subconscious mind, which includes the belief system, works like a thermostat.

Where Is Your Thermostat Set?

If you set a thermostat at 72 degrees and the temperature drops below that, the heat will come on to bring the temperature back to 72. If it gets hotter than that, the air conditioner will kick on to bring the room back to its set point.

Similarly, if you were programmed to struggle financially, like many of us were, and you’re thrust into sudden wealth, your subconscious mind will kick up a fuss in order to bring you back to where you’re “supposed” to be.

We see this all of the time in our culture. People increase their income and, all of a sudden, their life goes to hell in a handbasket. If they don’t understand what’s happening, most will conclude that success is “too hard” or it’s not the “right time,” and they’ll revert to where they were.

Shift Your Set Point

Because most of your beliefs were programmed before age seven and you may not even be aware of what they are, changing your set point around money requires diligence. You have to reject any ideas that reinforce lack and nurture faith in abundance.

Two simple ways to do that is to stop using coupons and waiting for sales. If you want something now, and you have the money for it, buy it. Say to yourself, “I deserve to be paid full price for what I do, so I’m going to pay somebody else full price as well.”

Also, reject any notion that money is bad.

Many of us were taught that money is suspect, yet hard work is good. So we’re working hard for something bad. That actually puts us in a conflicted place, as though we have one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake.

Is it any wonder that people find financial success difficult ~ and exhausting?

The truth is, as I’ve said, that money was an expansive idea that was given to us by the Universe to help us evolve as a species. We couldn’t have accomplished all that we have without it.

If you can really absorb that idea and change how you think about and deal with money everyday, your beliefs will shift.

You will push up the set point on your money thermostat.

You can create that $5 million and keep it, because you will know it’s yours.

I’m guessing that you are doing things that YOU don’t need to be doing, and eventually it’s going to affect your ability to grow and expand.

I told you last time that bringing in “your need” consistently is the key to getting what you want.

Your need is the amount to the penny that it takes to pay your bills each month. So, it’s your rent or mortgage, food, clothes, current business expenses, health insurance, monthly debt payment, and so on.

But it’s also more than that.

Your need is your reality.

It’s a snapshot of where you are, and it offers unparalleled opportunity for insight and freedom.

What’s the Story in that Snapshot?

To understand what your need is telling you, begin by calculating it. It’s easy. Start with your accounting software or just pull out your check book, get a calculator, and add up the total of your bills. If your expenses vary drastically from month to month, just average the past several months.

After you have tallied your need, I want you to identify why you need that amount.

In other words, why do you have those particular bills?

You need what you need for a reason. You created the situation or circumstances in your life that you need that money for.

Chances are that situation is not a new story in your life. It’s a recurring story and may be a recurring story in your family as well.

For example, let’s say your need of $7,232.13 includes a $5,000 monthly mortgage payment and you and your spouse only bring in $6,000 a month. Let’s also say that you didn’t want to buy this house. You knew it was too expensive, but your spouse insisted, lied on your mortgage application to get it, and now you’re struggling every month.

You now have the opportunity to change that story forever. How? By taking responsibility for it.

Take Responsibility for Your Need

If you blame your spouse for buying the house, not only are you not seeing the situation clearly, but you’re powerless to change it.

However, when you take responsibility for the purchase, you may realize that you regularly allow your spouse’s judgment to override your own, and then retaliate with resentment and anger. That way, you get to be right and the victim. You may also recognize that lack, struggle, power plays and dishonesty were prevalent in your childhood as well.

This is great news, because now that you have acknowledged all of that and taken responsibility for creating it, you are empowered to change the situation.

You stand up to your spouse and begin to create a new story that can bring you prosperity, fulfilling relationships and growth.

And it all began with a simple calculation. So pull out your check register, and get started.