How I Stop Judging People?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Tim.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I find myself judging a particular person in my life for the actions they’re taking. I don’t understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. I’m trying not to judge… but in my head, I feel like my mind automatically wants to judge this person. I’m thinking negative thoughts about it.

Even if I don’t say what I’m thinking out loud, am I still judging? If so, how do I stop?

Neagle Code Answer

The act of judging isn’t actually the problem. We all have to judge. We have to evaluate things as we go through life. That’s part of being human. That’s how we make decisions. We have to look at things (and people) and assess them to figure out if they’re healthy for us.

I don’t know what that person’s purpose is for what they’re doing. So I couldn’t give you the right information about it.

I think you need to simply ask that person why they’re doing what they’re doing, so you can get a better idea of where they’re coming from.

Judging has to do with perception.

You cannot not judge. It’s impossible. That would mean giving no meaning to anything in your life. That’s what we do—we give meaning to things. It’s a survival strategy. It prevents us from petting a tiger or something.

It keeps us alive.

If you’re thinking negative thoughts about the situation… then don’t think negatively about it. Think positively about it. Bring in gratitude if you need to. Be grateful for the situation.

But know that even if you think positively about it—you’re still judging. Switching from the negative to the positive makes sense, but it’s still a judgment.

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