What to do when success strains family relationships

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mariarosa G.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am the daughter of a family who was raised VERY poor, and their expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in an uncomfortable place. I’ve hit a ceiling, and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore or I won’t “be like them” anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you may not fit in anymore.

You may not relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you may not be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward,
you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

This doesn’t mean that you love them any less…
it just means that it’s time to change.

Accept that change, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you and who are also several steps ahead of you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE life…who are you going to live it for?

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

They all laughed at me

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

David,

I recently made the mistake of confiding in a good friend about a decision I’d made. I can clearly see how this decision will bring me closer to what I want in life, and I was excited about it. When I told my friend, she laughed at me. It made me feel small and when I left to go home, I felt myself literally shrinking. I’ve been struggling to regain my confidence ever since. I feel really stuck. Any words of advice?

Neagle Code Answer

First let me just say…I know how you feel. I remember confiding in a relative about my decision to go to one of my first seminars. I came back and the first thing he said to me was, “So, are you a millionaire yet?” And laughed. This was someone I looked up to!

Here is what you need to understand…every opportunity that comes into your life offers you a choice: to become more of yourself or to become less.

You either grow into the opportunity or you let it beat you down.

This is true of every opportunity, whether on its face it seems positive or negative.

If you let an opportunity beat you down, you likely fall into a victim mentality, a wounded mentality, and/or an entitled mentality. (Right now, you’re in wounded mentality)

And then the Law of Perpetual Transmutation and its subsidiary, the Reciprocating Law of Spirit, receive that message and send it back to you in kind, so you end up with problems in your life that you don’t want.

However, don’t despair, because you always have the opportunity, through the power of choice, to change your negative circumstances.

Think for a moment about choice.

You can choose to respond to your friend’s comments by second-guessing your decision and staying small, or you can let her laughter propel you forward.

The key here is that YOU have that CHOICE.

That’s because by changing how you’re responding to your circumstances, you are changing the message you are sending to Spirit, as well as changing the choices you’ll make in the future. Therefore, the opportunities that manifest in your life will change as well. It is Law.

I mean let’s be honest…if I had let my relative’s laughter stop me, you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.

 

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

How to handle family members who have broken your trust

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I could really use your help with something. With the Holidays being in full swing, I know that I’m going to have to spend time with a family member who has done something hurtful to me this past year that proved to be very untrustworthy. I’m over the hurt (I think), but I do not trust them, and really don’t want to BE with them. I don’t want our brief time spent together to negatively affect my business. Do you have any suggestions?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi!

If someone has not earned your trust, or has broken your trust in the past, you can love them for who they are, but ultimately you have to make a decision about whether or not you want to spend time with them and share your life with them.

Trust should ALWAYS be earned.

The only way your family member can hold you back is if you make decisions based on what they think, rather than what you want.

If you find yourself caring more about what someone else thinks rather than what you think, you are holding yourself back.

But here is the most important lesson for you:

I want you to understand that if someone has broken your trust, chances are you’ve done the same thing to someone else and this situation is simply a mirror for you.

Remember you attract everything in your life from a place of who you are being, and to not take responsibility for part of the situation will only keep it alive and painful.

If you can see the truth in what happened, it will set you free.

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

[5 Simple Steps to Unshakeable Self-Confidence Series] Article #4 ~ You Have to be in Control of You


Too often, our beliefs, values, and the amount of our self-confidence are determined and controlled by people who were of great importance in our past.

That could be our mom, dad, clergy, teacher, aunt, uncle, grandparent; the list goes on and on.

In fact, most of us are trained from the time we’re very young to listen to and obey our elders, the people, who, supposedly, know best.

Very few of us are taught to listen to our own voice, especially when it conflicts with someone who assumes to be in charge of our well-being.

As a result, most people never step into their own authority.

They never test their mettle. They never see the amazing things they’re actually capable of doing.

Father Doesn’t Know Best
Well, the truth is, despite that 50’s sitcom title, father doesn’t know best.

YOU know best.

And you have the ability to do virtually anything that you can wrap your mind around.

However, in order to do so, you have to be in control of you, and not allow the ancient voices of your past—or those of your present—to control you.

What Does It Mean to Be in Control of Me?
It’s so rare for people be in control of their own lives that sometimes they don’t know what that even means.

Being in control of you means being your own authority.

It means that you’re not going to do something because somebody else likes it or doesn’t like it.

It means that the opportunities you accept, the choices you make, are based on what you want for your life. Period.

How Do You Know When Something Is Right for You or Not?
If you want to know if an opportunity would be good for you, just listen to what your internal voice has to say about it.

It will tell you who you are, what you should be doing, where you should be going, and how you should be doing it.

Now, your inner voice may not express itself as the classic, still, small voice that you can hear. It might be a sensation like chills or a knowing or something else.

If you’re not in the habit of listening to yourself, you might find it a challenge in the beginning to recognize your internal voice.

One thing’s for sure, it is not the nattering or hectoring voice in your head. It speaks simply, often in a short sentence or phrase, and usually arises from the gut.

Fortunately, the more you try to listen to your inner voice, the more you will hear it, and the easier it will be to hear.

Likewise, the more you trust its counsel and heed it, the less time you’ll spend making decisions. Because you’ll quickly check in with yourself and you’ll know.

You’ll know, right away, when something is advantageous for you or not.

And the positive impact of that on your business, life, and self-confidence will be phenomenal!

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will spending time with negative family members deter my growth?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mandy B.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I loved your last post about relationships, and could really use your help with something. With the Holidays being in full swing, I know that I’m going to have to spend time with a family member that I’ve had a less than pleasant experience with this year. I’m over the hurt, but I do not trust them. I don’t want seeing them to send me in a tailspin…is this lack of trust going to deter my success after the holidays?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Mandy!

If someone has not earned your trust, or has broken your trust in the past, you can love them for who they are, but ultimately you have to make a decision about whether or not you want to spend time with them and share your life with them.

Trust should ALWAYS be earned.

As I wrote last week, the only way your family member can hold you back is if you make decisions based on what they think, rather than what you want.

If you find yourself caring more about what someone else thinks rather than what you think, you are holding yourself back.

But here is the most important lesson for you:

I want you to understand that if someone has broken your trust, chances are you’ve done the same thing to someone else and this situation is simply a mirror for you.

Remember you attract everything in your life from a place of who you are being, and to not take responsibility for part of the situation will only keep it alive and painful.

If you can see the truth in what happened, it will set you free.

Interesting Image

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Will success push your family away?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Malika.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am the daughter of an immigrant, and my parent’s expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in a precarious place. I’m stuck and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Mailika and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you won’t fit in anymore.

You won’t relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you won’t be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward, you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

Accept that fact, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE lifewho are you going to live it for?

Interesting Image

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Are successful people really selfish?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions
for Life”
comes from Alex.

Neagle                 Code Question


Dear David,

I have been passionate about building my business. I invest, I work hard, and do my best to provide for my family. I feel I’m generous with money, and yet I still overhear people in my inner circle calling me selfish.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Am I really selfish to want to build a successful business?

Neagle                                               Code Answer

Hi Alex.


The short answer is:

No, you’re not selfish.


Let me explain.


The definition of selfish is to force others to live the life you want to live. Unless you’re taking away someone else’s right to choose, you’re not being selfish by building your own business.

What’s really happening is this:

When you change and grow, you force the people in your life to adapt to your changes. Your growth highlights where they are not growing and makes them very uncomfortable.

This in turn translates to one of two things.

Either they support your growth.

OR

They don’t support your growth.

It sounds like the people in your life who are calling you selfish are uncomfortable with your growth and passion.

You may want to re-evaluate your relationship with them, accept them for who THEY are, and make a choice based on what you want for your life.

It’s not a myth that you are a product of the 5 closest people in your life.

Choose wisely.

Just Believe,®
Interesting Image

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Can I trust my own family?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Aubrey Raiford. 

Question:

Hi David,

I'm trying to repair damage with a family member. I have forgiven them and moved past the hurt, but I don't trust them. Is this negative? Is this holding me back from moving forward?

Answer:

Hi Aubrey!

People must earn your trust.

It is not something that you give freely.

Whether we are talking about your family, friends, or random people in your neighborhood, to trust people blindly and implicitly is never a good decision, especially if they've shown you that they cannot be trusted.

If someone has not earned your trust, or has broken your trust in the past, you can love them for who they are, but ultimately you have to make a decision about whether or not you want to spend time with them and share your life with them.

The only way your family can hold you back is if you make decisions based on what they think, rather than what you want.

If you find yourself caring more about what someone else thinks than what you think, you are holding yourself back.

Lastly, I want you to understand that if someone has broken your trust, chances are you've done the same thing to someone else and this situation is simply a mirror for you.

Remember you attract everything in your life from a place of who you are being, and to not take responsibility for part of the situation will only keep it alive and painful.

If you can see the truth in what happened, it will set you free.

“Just Believe”,®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.