Overcome the Fear of Rejection
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes fromย someone who wishes to remain anonymous.ย
I was working with your question of, โWhat am I resisting?โ and Iโve come to realize that Iโm resisting being rejected in my work/business. If someone tells me โNo,โ it feels like I just want to give up. It touches on the idea that Iโm not good enough.
No one has even told me straight up, โNo.โ Iโm just scared of the idea of them telling me no.
How do I build and strengthen my self-worth?
Understand this:
When youโre in that fear of rejection, youโre not thinking about how you could help the other person. Youโre thinking about preserving yourself.
When someone rejects you, it has nothing to do with you.
It doesnโt matter what theyโre rejecting you about, either. It has to do with whatever is going on inside of them thatโs causing them to say no.
When weโre in business, and weโre offering something that would benefit others โ whether itโs a product or service โ and they need that product or service, and theyโre saying noโฆwhat theyโre really doing is denying themselves of some kind of benefit or improvement in their life. Theyโre scared to move forward.
It has nothing to do with you.
Who rejected you when you were a child? Your mom or your dad?
Every time somebody tells you โno,โ itโs like having both of your parents reject you. Itโs like having them say youโre not good enough, and โWe donโt love you.โ
โฆThatโs what your subconscious mind hears.
Hereโs the absolute truth. Brace yourselfโฆ
It doesnโt matter if your parents loved you or not. Because youโre an adult now, and your responsibility is to love yourself.
When you allow yourself to be the way youโre being right now, youโre saying, โI donโt love myself enough to not need it from someone else.โ
Hereโs an exercise:
Every day, identify three things you appreciate about yourself.
โฆAnd this is very important. Youโve got to get rid of the anger you have for your parents. Youโre never going to be able to fully love yourself until you do.
You canโt will it away. The anger needs to be expressed. Youโve got to get it out of your body.
Sit down and write a letter to your parents. Youโre not going to give it to them โ but tell them how angry you are at what they did (or didnโt do), and how they werenโt there for you.
Allow yourself to feel all that emotion.
Next, find three things every day that you appreciate about yourself. Start focusing on the things you love in life.
You have to save yourself. Nobodyโs coming to save you. Iโm sorry they didnโt come when you were sixโฆbut youโre not six anymore.
You have to let it go.
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