Tag: judgement

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

David,

How do you learn to trust yourself again after “failures” when your sub-conscious very strongly keeps reminding you of those failures and constructs new ways of keeping you stuck?

Fantastic question!

Failure is simply a judgment placed on a result.

The real problem lies with how we THINK and FEEL about failure.

If you fail and attach emotional meaning to that failure, it will trigger a core belief about yourself.

You may even say things to yourself like:

“I’m not smart enough, I’m never going to succeed, I can’t believe this isn’t working, what’s wrong with me?”

“My parents were right…”

Or even

“ I don’t even know why I bother…”

This is how the downward spiral starts.

The truth is that failure is nothing more than a result.

And the purpose of that result is for our own learning. Begin to see failure as a GIFT.

Ask yourself:

What don’t I understand about this?

Who do I need to be to get a different result?

The most successful people in the world have experienced more failure than success.

After all, your own success lies in the ability to respond to results… to course correct and take risks in order to get different results without attaching emotions.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Roger.

Hi David,

In some of your recent teachings you talk about uncovering what your areas of resistance are. I’ve been taking a close look at myself, and I notice that I resist being silly and vulnerable. I very much want to be a speaker, and I can see how this resistance is affecting my ability to really step into that. Any advice on how to break through this?

Hi Roger and thanks for your question!

What’s so bad about being silly?

I’m asking you to answer for yourself, because hidden in the answer to that question is the wound you’re trying to protect.

Let me explain.

When you speak from stage, or in any instance where you’re influencing people, you must come from a place of authenticity.

This means allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your audience. Allow them to really see you, because in you showing them that vulnerability is okay, you give them permission to be vulnerable as well.

You make an immediate connection with a prospect and they know you can help them because you were able to do something that they are afraid of.

Are you afraid to be seen as silly because you worry about judgment? Are you concerned about what people think of you?

If so, you’re coming from a place of getting approval and acceptance rather than a place of helping someone else.

My recommendation is for you to begin embracing your silliness. Look at where you can share personal stories and allow yourself to be more vulnerable.

Once you start doing this you’ll realize the impact it has on people, and you will gradually stop being afraid of the judgment.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions
for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Fantastic question!

Failure is simply a judgment placed on a result.

The real problem lies with how we THINK and FEEL about failure.

If you fail and attach emotional meaning to that failure, it will trigger a core belief about yourself.

You may even say things to yourself like:

“I’m not smart enough, I’m never going to succeed, I can’t believe this isn’t working, what’s wrong with me?”

“My parents were right…”

Or even

“I don’t even know why I bother…”

This is how the downward spiral starts.

The truth is that failure is nothing more than a result.

And the purpose of that result is for our own learning.

Ask yourself:

What don’t I understand about this?

Who do I need to be to get a different result?

The most successful people in the world have experienced more failure than success.

I’ll be teaching more in-depth on this topic in my new podcast series, The Art of Success Business School. To access these free trainings, simply click here:

http://bit.ly/ArtOfSuccess

After all, your own success lies in the ability to respond to results… to course correct and take risks in order to get different results without attaching emotions.

Just Believe,^®

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Quick question: I've been working diligently on overcoming my inner demons and getting past my ego so I can take continuous and decisive actions in my business… it's been a process for sure.

But how do you deal with hate email. I recently received an email from someone “DEMANDING” to be taken off my list. I had no clue she had tried and the system did not work.

My first reaction was that my fear of judgment kicked in and I felt stopped in my tracks! Thankfully I was able to get past it and back on track, but how do you deal with these intense, paralyzing (albeit temporary) fears?

Answer:

Great question!

The only way to “deal” with fear, is to shine a light on it so that you can see that it's a lie.

I know you've heard me say this before, but Spirit does not speak to you through fear, so anytime you feel that fear and hear those fearful voices in your head, you must stop and ask yourself whose voices those are.

Let's go back to TRUTH. (My favorite place)

Fear is simply your ego's way of stopping you from growing. And the fear was given to you by someone else, usually a parent or someone who had a significant role in your life.

The next time you feel fear, try identifying whose voice is talking to you because it will not be God's.

So let's go back to the first question you asked: How do you deal with hate mail?

My answer is that you don't. You must understand that hate mail has everything to do with the person sending it and nothing to do with you.

You aren't responsible for someone else's thoughts, feelings and emotions, you are only responsible for your OWN.

Kudos to you for recognizing that it triggered your fear of judgment. If you focus your attention on why you have a fear of judgment in the first place, and let the hate mail go, the truth will set you free.

To support you in this self-discovery, I recommend that you study The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

“Just Believe”,^®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

How does one push aside the self sabotage that shows up at every step up? I am extremely intelligent and an expert in my field. I guide people well, and when the time comes for me to take the next step – with all eyes watching and applauding – I stop and walk in another direction, as if I'm shy. Others are speaking and touring and helping people and I am stuck standing in my own mud. I have been doing this “side step” for about 10 yrs now and I will be 50 next yr Feb '12. I am changing many things in my life now, I want to see glorious changes at the age of 50! I know I can do it, I think I need help, a sidekick? I don't know really or I would have done it by now. And yes, I kick myself constantly for not being more at this age.

Answer:

Thanks for submitting this question.

First, I want to invite you to applaud yourself for what you HAVE accomplished thus far in your life. Let go of the judgment of yourself, so you can see clearly what’s causing this pattern.

If you look to the Laws for the truth, you’ll find that you have created everything in your life, and you’ve created it for a reason.

On the surface, you might ask yourself why you’re afraid of success, but I’m sure you’ve succeeded in many different things before.

Most people don’t really fear success, they fear what success will bring.

Let me give you an example…

A woman (let’s call her Sarah), intellectually wants her business to be a huge success. She wants to help so many people and knows that she can be of service to so many, but yet, she stops herself from doing the things she needs to do. Subconsciously, she’s stopping herself because she knows that if she makes a great deal of money, it will allow her to make some difficult decisions. In Sarah’s case, it would allow her to move away from her family, something she’s wanted to do for a long time. However, Sarah is also very afraid to leave her family because she’s worried they’ll be upset, hurt, or think badly about her.

So her lack of success actually serves her.

It keeps her from having to make a difficult decision.

It enables her to avoid growth, which can be a little scary. Deep down she’s terrified of her family’s reaction if she is successful.

So, in your case, my suggestion is to really think about what you’d be able to do if you did finally step into your greatness. You must get to the bottom of the fear that’s causing you to stop, and then you must walk through that fear.

Sometimes this is really tough to see on your own. It’s difficult to see your blindspot, and that’s why working with a coach is so valuable. With the right questions, you can be led to the core of what’s causing you to stop.

Here’s my gift to you. If you’d like some help with this, my lead coach, Steph Tuss, would be happy to help you through it. Send an email to steph@davidneagle.com and she’ll set up an appointment for the two of you to speak.

“Just Believe”,^®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.