After an affair…how can I trust again?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Dear David,

I recently found out that my husband of 16 years has been having an affair for quite some time. I’m having a hard time not feeling devastated. I understand that as you say, I am the center of my own universe, and I am the one that created that relationship, and I am happy to take responsibility. I am studying the laws and trying to pull my life together by working with the laws, but my question to you is – when I eventually meet another man, how will I know if I can him trust him? How can I use the laws to ensure that I don't waste any more of my life?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks for your question.

The Law states that we attract what we are, not what we want.

So to use the Laws to ensure that you don’t waste any more of your life, you must get very clear with yourself as to why you would have attracted your husband and his subsequent actions.

If everyone in our life is a mirror for us, and no one is a victim, then we must take responsibility for everything in our lives and see the lessons as they are.

Cheaters cheat for only one reason.

They don’t have the courage to say what they want.

Is this also something you struggle with?

Do you have difficulty saying what you want, even if it means the loss of a relationship or judgment from those around you? Is there something you were lying to yourself about?

Once you have clarity around why you attracted the affair into your life, you must go to work on getting very clear about the person you’d like to meet.

You see, we are not taught how to attract a partner. Most relationships start with a physical attraction, and we fall in love, and most times, we fall in love with the wrong person.

To really make sure that you’re attracting an ideal relationship you must write out what qualities and values you’re looking for, and then you yourself must live those qualities and values.

Use that list as the authority in deciding if a relationship stays or goes, and it will help you find a relationship that will bring more life to you both.

 

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Mirror mirror on the wall

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Keith Chovan.

Question:

How would people be recognized for not loving themselves, so I can keep those types of people out of my life?

Answer:

Hi Keith and thanks for this very interesting question.

The truth is that we attract to us who we are being.

Start with yourself. If you love yourself, you will attract others who love themselves or who are in the process of learning to love themselves.

You see you are the center of your Universe. You attract people to you who will be a mirror for you.

Let me explain.

If you find that you've attracted a person into your life that has low self-esteem and it triggers you, it means that you have low self-esteem as well. That person is in your life so you can become aware of your next area of growth.

Remember, anything that upsets you about someone else in your life is about you and not them.

If you start with learning to love yourself, you will accept people for who they are without needing anything from them, or you'll easily be able to let relationships go that no longer serve you.

I think Don Miguel Ruiz sums it up pretty well in his book, The Four Agreements, when he says that what people think of you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

The reverse must then also be true. What you think of other people has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.

If you want to attract people into your life that love themselves, you must love yourself first.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

Are you trying to attract support?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

How do I find dependable, reliable people when building a team especially when they don't return calls or show up?

Answer:

Fantastic question!

First, you need to remember that you create your reality. So let's try to pinpoint what's going on here.

I need you to answer a few questions, and it's REALLY important that you take some time with these questions and allow yourself to be honest.

Question #1: Do you really want a team?

Are you willing to give up certain aspects of your business and TRUST that someone else can do them?

The reason I ask this question is because a lot of entrepreneurs say they want a team, and yet, they are afraid of establishing a team and delegating at the same time. They'll say that they want someone to help them, and yet they don't want to give up the reins or simply don't trust others to do what they are asked to do.

Over and over I've heard entrepreneurs say, “If I want it done right, I might as well just do it myself.” That kind of thinking is based in lack, and will never allow you to attract effective team members.

You're really sending mixed messages when your intellect is telling you that a team is needed, but deep down, you're afraid of taking on a team.

Question #2: Do you effectively communicate your expectations to your team?

Believe it or not, team members are not mind readers. If you want something done, you must be able to explain your requirements or vision for the task and give a clear deadline.

Don't forget, communication goes both ways. It's also important for your team members to know that you value their thoughts and opinions as well.

I've seen many teams implode due to lack of communication, and it's really unfortunate (and preventable).

Question #3: Are you getting what you pay for?

When entrepreneurs first begin to think about adding team members, more often than not, they are at a place in their business where they can't really clearly see how they can add a team member and pay them at the same time. They must take a risk in hiring someone to allow for the continued growth of their business.

This is where the problem comes in.

They don't see the new team member as an investment in their company, and they look for the “least expensive help” they can find. They base their hiring on price rather than quality.

Who do you think gets a better return for their money; someone who hires an entry level VA who's not familiar with their business at $25.00 per hour, or someone who hires a VA who's experienced and understands business at $75.00 per hour?

ALWAYS make decisions based on where you want to go rather than where you are right now, or you'll always be stuck right where you are right now.

So, in short, EXPECT to find a team member who identifies with the vision of your company, TRUST them to do the tasks that you effectively communicate to them, and be willing to PAY them for their expertise.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

Is desire enough?

This week's question from my portal The Neagle Code: Directions for Life comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Through law of attraction coaching, I've discovered some key beliefs about feeling that life is hard – and that you have to work to deserve anything you get. Is this what is in the way with regards to my resistance to receiving/allowing? I find myself not wanting to trust in receiving so as to not be disappointed later.

Answer:

This question can be answered by looking at the Truths found in the exact law you mentioned in your question, The Law of Attraction. What most people don’t realize is that this Law has TWO important components. One is “desire” and the other is “expectation”.

You see, desire without expectation is useless wishing or dreaming, and wastes mental energy.

According to Raymond Holliwell, in his book, Working with the Law, desire and expectation are mental attitudes that represent lines of attractive force. Desire embraces a positive process of attraction. The Law states that you cannot long or yearn for something unless it already exists, and “desire” is the motive power for calling it forth.

So, let’s look at how this works with your situation. You desire something, but have a belief that you can’t have what you want unless you work hard or you’ve “paid your dues”. This belief gets in the way of the second step to the Law of Attraction, expectation. You desire something, but you don’t really expect to receive it because it’s not in line with your belief that life has to be hard.

A perfect example of what you’re experiencing again comes from Raymond Holliwell. He states, “Expectation is an active form of attention with intensity. It may be likened to the actions of a cat that waits patiently at the mouse hole. The cat expects to catch his prize at any moment; he expects to get the mouse because he believes he will get it eventually. If the cat did not believe and expect to catch the mouse, his interest and attention would lack intensity, and his energies would not be called forth. When you believe in the probability of success in your undertaking, you experience an intense interest in your work. This interest is strengthened with expectation and anticipation.”

Unfortunately, I see the opposite of this example with many entrepreneurs.

They desire financial success, to leave a legacy, to build a strong and reputable business, so they build a website, hire a team, learn from the best how to market, brand, and sell; but either consciously or subconsciously, they have a belief that they are not worthy to receive, that life must be hard, or that they will have to give up something dear to them to receive.

This results in paralysis.

They know what they NEED to do, but they can’t seem to make themselves do it, or if they do go through the motions, they lack the intensity of expectation, and they’re results fall short of what they desired.

This is a perfect example of a breakdown in manifestation. They, like you, have a desire, but they don’t truly expect the results.


You must reframe your beliefs about receiving to truly EXPECT the results you DESIRE.


“Just Believe”,

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I’ll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed
application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

Do you feel powerless?!?

I’m writing this to you on Saturday, when I have just 90 minutes between my youngest daughter’s softball game, and the arrival of my middle daughter’s “sleepover posse”.

But I’ve got something on my mind that can’t wait …

There was a common theme running through my private, one-on-one coaching calls this past week that was more prevalent & intense & “about-to-be-extremely-destructive” than I’ve experienced in quite some time.

And it popped up too many times this past week for these to be isolated cases …

So I want to address it immediately & head-on with all of my subscribers & students, because here’s what I’m hearing:

You’re feeling small.

You’re feeling insignificant and inconsequential.

You’re feeling like a … fraud.

You’re feeling like you’re never going to reach your goals and live your dreams, because you’re just not …

  • special enough,
  • compelling enough,
  • inspiring enough
  • beautiful enough

… for any more than a handful of people to pay attention, and listen to you, and care what you have to say.

Add to that, you don’t feel any serious, accomplished business owners will want to JV with you because …

  • your list is too small
  • your business is too new
  • you haven’t mastered online marketing
  • you don’t know enough of the “right” people
  • you’re not making enough money in your business
  • you don’t have a proven sales record

… and the list of negatives goes on!

Look everyone, I started from & with nothing! And if I can make millions & reach thousands with my message, so can you and I will help you!!

* * * * * * * *

So right now, I want you to follow my lead, and do this:

1) Reach behind your head, grab the back of your collar and pull yourself up straight and tall! You ARE divine & powerful & amazing, so start believing it and acting like it!

2) Now repeat after me: “I am ONE with the Universe, and nothing is beyond my reach or unavailable to me! And I am WILLING to fulfill the great purpose that Spirit intends directly and especially for me!”

3) Find a pen & paper, and write this down:

Date: Wednesday May 5, 2010

Time: 7pm Eastern / 4pm Pacific

Conference Line: 818-742-0029

Private Pin Number: 383688#

And in case the phone lines are jammed, save this webcast link:

http://attendthisevent.com/?eventID=12602046

and

4) Make a commitment to yourself (and to me) right now that at the above date and time, you WILL join me for at least 60 minutes (we may go longer) on my private conference line so I can work with you to get your head straight about just how brilliant and powerful and needed you are!

* * * * * * * *

Here’s what I want to teach you on this call:

  1. The 5 sources of POWER that already exist in your business, that you can activate and put to work for you immediately.
  2. The #1 best way you can immediately start showing up in your business (and in the world) as the brilliant, POWERHOUSE expert that you are … even if you don’t feel that way right now.
  3. What it means to truly adopt, once and for all, the mindset of a 7-figure+ business owner! (There’s a certain way all 7-figures earners had to think BEFORE they crossed the million-dollar-mark! But it’s a decision to think this way, and you’ve got to understand it to make it work for you!)
  4. The 2 absolutes you must understand immediately to CLOSE your sales conversations faster, and feel great doing so! (Look: you deserve the experience of accepting more money, more often, more easily!)
  5. What your marketing says about you … and how you can shift it to immediately come from a place of POWER, and never desperation!

Sound good?

You’ve got the number & the webcast link.

You’ve got the date and time.

There’s not a single hoop for you to jump through.

All you have to do now is SHOW UP LIVE for a boost of your spirits & your business acumen … and I’ll meet you there!

Ok! I’ve got to get back to my Saturday, but I really wanted to address this today … It breaks my heart that you’ll feeling so small, and I really want to give you some tools to uplift and inspire you … and remind you of how truly amazing you really are!

Wishing you an awesome day!

“Just Believe”,

P.S. Yes, you are more than welcome to share this invitation. I’m going to have this posted on my blog at www.davidneagle.com/blog before the end of the day on Monday too. (Actually, if you like, leave me a comment on my blog and let me know you’ll be there!)

P.P.S. I have no way of knowing how many people will show up for this call (because I’m not requiring that you register in advance) … so if the phone lines are jammed, please join me on the webcast at:  http://attendthisevent.com/?eventID=12602046