How to set boundaries to protect your personal life

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Tina F.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’m becoming aware that I have a boundary issue… meaning I don’t have boundaries around my business life and my personal life. My business is bleeding into every area of my life. Even my friendships and relationships are steeped in my business to the point where I feel like I can’t have a genuine conversation without someone in my life asking for coaching or business tips. How to I start to set boundaries for myself?

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Tina, and thanks for this question.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries:

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. Use your calendar and stick to it!

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like to travel, join a travel club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite destination, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversations.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Does my personal life affect my income?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

How do I know if my personal life may be affecting my success? I’m in a strained relationship currently, and I’m experiencing chaos in my business as well which is resulting in a month-by-month financial loss. Is this related, or two totally separate issues I need to look at?

Neagle Code Answer

Thanks so much for your question!

How you do anything is how you do everything, but there are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if your personal relationships could be affecting your success.

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

If you find yourself making decisions or stopping yourself for fear of what someone else will think, say or react then you really need to take a close look at that relationship.

Is that you?

Are you true to yourself or do you make decisions based on what you believe your partner may feel, think or say?

Be honest with yourself.

In a healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if they don’t agree; they have the option to accept your desires or leave the relationship.

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

[5 Simple Steps to Unshakeable Self-Confidence Series] Article #11 ~ Step 4: Take Bold Action Toward What You Want


Like most people, you probably have some areas of your life that are abundant, and some that aren’t.

You probably also have a story about why you’re not abundant in those particular areas.

If you’ve been following this series, you know that story is very likely a lie. It’s an excuse that is preventing you from having what you want.

Because, as I told you last time, whatever you’re experiencing or not experiencing in your life is just an effect.

It’s the direct result of something you’re doing or not doing.

It follows, then, that every result that you want to have in your life would have a direct cause as well.

Identifying that cause was the work of Step 3.

For Step 4, I want you to outline the path that Step 3 uncovered, and then take bold action toward your dream.

How to Make It Bold
I say “bold,” because it’s an engine; it’s a force that strongly pushes forward what you want.

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

If you take lackluster actions, you’re going to get lackluster results.

But if you take bold actions, you’re going to get bold results.

So what do bold actions entail?

They usually put you on the line in some way. You might be exposing yourself, risking disapproval or rejection, or upsetting someone’s idea of who you should be.

A Bold Example
For example, let’s say that, as a youth, you were teased or bullied. As an adult it’s difficult for you to trust, and you’re carrying around an “I can’t have friends” story in your head.

Now, tired of being isolated and lonely, you’ve decided to change that old story, so that you can have healthy, supportive, fun, and intimate friendships.

When you applied Step 3, you realized that the cause of rich friendships was to look at yourself and consider how you can take steps to BE a better friend yourself.

Applying Step 4, you now make a list of bold friendship actions and start doing those actions on a daily basis.

Those bold friendship actions include:

* call one acquaintance every day, just to say hello and ask how they're doing.

* send one thank you card every other day to someone who made a difference in your life.

* take responsibility for a past misunderstanding or argument, and make a weekly phone call to make amends.

* allow yourself to be vulnerable and trust, and open up about something that matters to you to someone you want to be closer to.

How Bold Changes Your Life
By putting yourself on the line and risking rejection on a daily basis, you are giving yourself a new experience that runs counter to your old story, and that your subconscious has to accept.

This creates a new belief, an “I can have friends” story that allows those friendships to manifest in your life, while also building your self-confidence.

Before long, you’re brimming with healthy friendships and confidence, and your life will never be the same.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

 

 

 

My wife doesn’t want to be wealthy

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from TJ.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I’ve been studying your teachings for some time now, but my wife has no interest in wealth mindset. We both have very different beliefs around money and it’s starting to create a wedge in our relationship. Do you have any suggestions on how to meet her halfway and maintain the integrity of our relationship?

Neagle Code Answer

This is a great question, and one I get quite often. I wrote about this back in 2012 that I’ll repost below.

Money and relationships are pretty tricky, but they don’t have to be.

If you and your wife have different beliefs around money, I recommend that you both start taking responsibility for yourselves.

Make your own money, have your own banking accounts, and split the joint bills and expenses.

If you want to save for a trip and she doesn’t, go without her, but be prepared for her to do the same.

So many couples struggle with money, especially if one partner makes more than the other. Sometimes it works great and other times it’s incredibly disempowering for the person who is not the breadwinner.

If you feel like your decisions are limited by your wife’s money mindset, you need to have a heart to heart conversation with her, and let her know that from now on, you’ll both be responsible for the bills, but that everything else will go into separate accounts.

This gives her the freedom to do what she wants with her income, and it gives you the freedom as well.

It’s against the laws to ask her to change, this way, you’ll both have the freedom to believe what you want about money and spend as save as you wish.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Will spending time with negative family members deter my growth?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mandy B.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I loved your last post about relationships, and could really use your help with something. With the Holidays being in full swing, I know that I’m going to have to spend time with a family member that I’ve had a less than pleasant experience with this year. I’m over the hurt, but I do not trust them. I don’t want seeing them to send me in a tailspin…is this lack of trust going to deter my success after the holidays?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Mandy!

If someone has not earned your trust, or has broken your trust in the past, you can love them for who they are, but ultimately you have to make a decision about whether or not you want to spend time with them and share your life with them.

Trust should ALWAYS be earned.

As I wrote last week, the only way your family member can hold you back is if you make decisions based on what they think, rather than what you want.

If you find yourself caring more about what someone else thinks rather than what you think, you are holding yourself back.

But here is the most important lesson for you:

I want you to understand that if someone has broken your trust, chances are you’ve done the same thing to someone else and this situation is simply a mirror for you.

Remember you attract everything in your life from a place of who you are being, and to not take responsibility for part of the situation will only keep it alive and painful.

If you can see the truth in what happened, it will set you free.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Life drama? Yes, it affects your business

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Eleanor McGiven.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I know you teach that how you do anything is how you do everything, so my question is about how my personal life may be affecting my success. I’m in a rocky romantic relationship currently and I’m also experiencing massive frustration in my business. Is this related or two totally separate issues I need to look at?

Neagle Code Answer

Thanks so much for your question Eleanor!

Yes, it’s true that how you do anything is how you do everything, but there are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if your personal relationships could be affecting your success.

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

If you find yourself making decisions or stopping yourself for fear of what someone else will think or say, then you really need to take a close look at that relationship.

Is that you?

Are you true to yourself or do you make decisions based on what you believe your partner may feel, think or say?

Be honest with yourself.

So why wouldn’t you get up each morning excited to pick up the phone and HELP someone?

In a healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if they don’t agree; they have the option to accept your desires or leave the relationship.

Interesting Image

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Will success push your family away?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Malika.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am the daughter of an immigrant, and my parent’s expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in a precarious place. I’m stuck and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Mailika and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you won’t fit in anymore.

You won’t relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you won’t be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward, you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

Accept that fact, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE lifewho are you going to live it for?

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

How to attract referral partners

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions
for Life”
comes from Joe.

Neagle                 Code Question


Hi David,

What is your #1 tip when it comes to developing referral partnerships?

Neagle                                               Code Answer

Hi Joe, great question!


It’s actually a pretty simple strategy … GIVE.

Do your homework.


Take the time to really understand what your potential partner is currently working on.


Learn what message they are most interested in expanding in the world right now, and approach them with the intention of finding out how you can help.

Then formulate a plan to do so.

One great suggestion may be to send an invitation to your potential partner offering to introduce them to your connections or subscribers via email, interview or tele-class with an explanation of how their current message would be of great interest and benefit to your subscribers.

4-6 weeks later send a card reiterating how much you appreciated the opportunity to introduce them to your connections or subscribers, and remind them of your offer to help them anytime, if there’s anything further that need.

So you see it’s quite simple…

Give FIRST and build a relationship that will both last and reciprocate.

Just Believe,®
Interesting Image

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

How-to attract great joint venture partners

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions
for Life”
comes from Monica.

Neagle                 Code Question


Hi David!


I need to build my list and I was wondering if you could give me a couple strategies on how to approach a possible joint venture partner. I have a small list, but I’m good at what I do and I know others can benefit from what I have to offer.


Thanks so much!

Neagle                                               Code Answer

Hi Monica. Thanks for the great question!


The answer is simple…


YOU GO FIRST.

You see, the best way to build relationships is to go above and beyond to give and serve.

Find potential partners who you are impressed by, who are making a difference or who support a common cause.

Reach out to that potential partner and ask how you can help THEM.

Do your research and find out what they are promoting or creating and actively support them on social media or to your own list (even if it’s small).

Build that relationship and show them you are serious.

Amazing things will come your way if you can focus on what you have to give rather than what you want to get.

Just Believe,®
Interesting Image

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

What about business-personal balance?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions
for Life”
comes from Marna.

Neagle                                               Code Question


David, I am really struggling to find some kind of balance between business and personal. I’m building my business and my boyfriend keeps telling me that I’m working too hard. He’s constantly asking me to quit working and pay attention to him.

I’m really torn between doing everything I can to build a successful business and doing everything to build a successful relationship. Is there a balance, and if there is, how can I find it?

Thanks!

Neagle                                               Code Answer


Thank you for asking this important question. Finding balance can often feel like a high-wire act! Personal relationships can impact your business and vice versa, especially if a relationship is not founded on complimentary or mutually shared values.

It sounds like you and your boyfriend don’t value the same things. This in turn can create a conflict rather than a balance issue.

When someone is asking you to deny your desire to grow (so they can be happy) and to choose between them or your business, ask yourself the following questions:

Why have I attracted this?

What is this here to teach me?

What are the emotions and thoughts that are coming up around this for me?

The truth is, love means total acceptance, and if your boyfriend is not totally accepting of your desires, it may be toxic.

You’re feeling out-of-balance because you are feeling torn to choose and you shouldn’t have to choose.

When you align yourself with values that show you how you can, instead of the all reasons for why you can’t, you will continue on your fast track to growth, and nothing will stop you.

Just Believe,®
Interesting Image

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.