Tag: relationship

Can I make myself WANT this?

September 8, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Hi David,

I have listened to several of your courses the most recent being The Miracle of Money. I am still hung up on one thing.

Can we change our desires willingly or are they inherent in our truth? More specifically, I desire to leave my relationship with my husband of 11 years, but he would like to make it work. We have two children. If I can actually change my desire to want to be with him, then could I be happy staying? He says, “If you can manifest anything in your thoughts, then manifest a happy relationship with me.”

If this is a choice, I want to make it. I am belaboring this choice because of the children. Most of all, I want to make the choice one way or the other and MOVE ON finally!

Answer:

Hi and thanks for this question.

If you could change your desire, you would have changed it by now.

Desire, by definition, means a strong feeling of wanting or longing. But what the definition fails to tell us is where that desire actually comes from.

You see desire is actually given to us. Spirit gives that deep longing in our hearts to us, and the purpose of that desire is so that we may grow.

Sometimes the desire we feel may not seem easy to attain. Sometimes it may even feel impossible to ever have. But if we look to Universal Truth, we know that a desire is never given without the way to achieve that desire already present.

This can sometimes be tricky in relationships.

Do you and your husband have the same goals and values?

Do you both want the same things?

Are you both able to have open and honest conversations about those things?

As I've stated in the past, we aren't taught how to choose our relationships. So when we decide to marry when we are young or unaware, oftentimes we make that decision based on romantic feelings rather than values and life goals.

Then as time passes and we get the urge to change and grow, sometimes our partners don't have that same desire. This can drive a very deep wedge in the relationship.

Ultimately, you have to listen closely to your secret thoughts and honor your desires, and in any relationship open and honest communication is essential.

“Just Believe”,®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

2 comments

My friends are penny pinching & proud! Do I keep quiet?

August 25, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

I was visiting with some dear friends who are very much in the Lack mentality. For instance my friend prides herself on how she only buys her clothes at Salvation Army because it saves her so much money or constantly is telling me how much she paid for something. I find myself either biting my tongue to share my new insights with her or judging her or thirdly slipping back into the same thought patterns. She is a dear friend and I don't get to see her often but how do you respond to people who are on a different path than you. Is it best just to keep quiet?

Answer:

Thanks for the great question!

I know first hand that this is a question that many people struggle with.

The first rule of thumb is that you should always surround yourself with people who are of like mind and goals. There is some truth to the old saying; “You are a product of the 5 closest people in your life”.

The second thing I'd like to point out is that if you're not verbally disagreeing with your friend, her lack beliefs are seeping into your subconscious.

Have you ever spent time with them, and then suddenly found yourself slipping back into lack thoughts and decisions, not even realizing it until you caught yourself days later?

And the third point here is that your friends aren't asking you to help them change, therefore, it's not your place to “set them straight”. They have the right to believe whatever they want, and if it bothers you, it's your responsibility to make the choice to accept them, or to limit your time with them.

Usually when I get this question, I ask, “How is the relationship serving you“, and I think it's something you may want to take a look at.

You've probably heard the saying, “A relationship is for a reason, season or a lifetime.”

It may be time for you to spend less time with these dear friends, and focus on making new friendships that support your ideals and growth.

“Just Believe”,®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

36 comments

For better or for worse?

January 14, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Hi David,
I am in a very painful relationship, and I know that I am responsible for it. I have been trying for a year now to work on myself (with many methods) but there is no improvement. My biggest confusion arises in me because I don't understand if I should leave the relationship or if I work enough on myself I will find myself happiness and in peace in this relationship. Can you clarify this for me?
Thank you.

Answer:

Thanks for your question.

Have you ever heard the saying that people come in to our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime?

It's the truth, and knowing when to release a relationship can be a difficult decision.

If you're in a relationship with an abusive person, you can work on yourself for years and it still won't change them, and really it's not your right to try to change them.

You have to ask yourself why you're choosing to stay in the relationship if it's been so painful.

How is it serving you?

Are you a hope addict?

Are you staying the relationship in the hopes that your partner will change and everything will get better?

Are you afraid to be alone?

In a healthy relationship, both people have to be willing to work on themselves to achieve a joint goal. If one person is not willing to grow, over time it will create a wedge in the relationship, and it will flounder and fail.

Are you and your partner on the same page or are you changing who you are and sacrificing what you want to “make” the relationship work?

Answering these questions will help you see if it's time to leave.

Please keep in mind, if you are being abused in ANY way, you must make every effort to stop the abuse by putting up boundaries or you must leave the relationship. Period.

Remember, you may be responsible for the attracting all the relationships in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship if it is no longer serving you.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

13 comments

I want my wife to grow too…

August 6, 2011

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Steven.

Question:

I have been struggling for some time to replace the limiting beliefs that were holding me in an endless loop. I meditated on it and repeated affirmations. I made new contacts with myself and people whom I know have the knowledge to help me to move into the world that I have been desiring. My question is, how can I help my wife to move with me instead of against me in this effort? I love her and don't want to leave her and our family, however I feel that every time I make headway in the direction of my aspirations, she keeps me from making that final leap of faith to actually start accumulating wealth, and we fall back into the debt habits and I have to start all over. Help me help her, please!

Answer:

Thanks for your question, Steven.

First, your wife's personal growth is not your responsibility.

I know that may seem harsh, but it's a selfish thing to force someone to change who does not want to change.

We are all responsible for our own growth, and there are those who welcome the change, and others who have no desire to change.

Your only responsibility is to accept her for who she is, and then ask your self if you want to be partners with someone who doesn't want to change. And I think it's important to for you to understand that no one can hold you down, unless you allow yourself to be held down.

With this in mind, ask yourself how it's serving you to allow her to hold you back.

Don't say it doesn't, because if it didn't serve you in someway, you wouldn't be experiencing the situation.

In any healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if she doesn't agree; she has the option to leave the relationship.

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

Your relationships will only affect your ability to manifest if you're not true to yourself.

21 comments

What does romance have to do with my success?

May 7, 2011

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

How does a relationship affect our ability to manifest our dreams? Thanks!

Answer:

If you’re asking the question, you may want to consider that you already know the answer.

If you find yourself making decisions or stopping yourself for fear of what someone else will think or say, then you really need to take a close look at that relationship.

And I think it’s important to for you to understand that no one can hold you down, unless you allow yourself to be held down.

In any healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if they don’t agree; they have the option to leave the relationship.

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

So to answer your question…

Chances are, if you’re wondering if a relationship is right for you, something has given you the thought that it may not be.

Your relationships will only affect your ability to manifest if you’re not true to yourself.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow, and I know many entrepreneurs who have difficult relationships with their mothers. Take time tomorrow to give gratitude for your mother. Some of the most difficult people we have in our lives are our greatest teachers.

Remember, other people in our lives will mirror us. And in that mirroring is the opportunity for growth.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I’ll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they’ve never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

6 comments

For better or for worse…

March 11, 2008

Have you ever asked yourself, “What is with this relationship?”

Have ever reached a point in your life where you just wonder if the people you are surrounding yourself with are helping you or hindering you?

Every relationship – good or bad – has it's own potential and they fall into four basic types:

1. Relationships that add.
2. Relationships that subtract.
3. Relationships that multiply.
4. Relationships that divide.

What happens when you become aware that one or more of your relationships is either subtracting or dividing from you? You are left with the option to resist this reality OR you can bring truth to it and simply accept it as “not working.”

So what does this mean for you? Good question…

It means one of three things:

1. Maybe the relationship was just for a season.

You needed to learn something or there may have been a purpose the relationship brought to your life. The dangerous thing to do is to hold onto it when the universe is telling you it's time to let go. If you hold onto this kind of relationship it will pull you down and destroy you. Remember this relationship was only “seasonal,” and if you hold on too long – what was once delightful will become destructive.

2.You are in a relationship where you think you will change the other person.

There is an old saying that “people change but not much,” and this is really true when it comes to the core values of other people. It is really rare that a person will do enough work on themselves to change their value or belief system if it is warranted. If you think you will change a person to fit your needs you are misleading yourself. Only they can want to change, and you can't want it more for them then they want it for themselves.

3.You are in a relationship that holds you in your past.

Some people will absolutely refuse to let go of who you were or what you did in your past. As long as you surround yourself with these people it will prevent you from completing your transformation of what you want to be. Oftentimes, others will attempt to put you on a guilt trip for trying to change. “Who do you think you are?” “Are you better than us?” “Are
you a big shot now?” All of this in an attempt to hold you in the same place where they are.

When the space shuttle takes off, the rocket boosters that propel the shuttle into space burn out and fall off at a certain point. If they didn't, they would destroy the shuttle. Pull it back down to earth.

Some of the people in your life that have been here for a season have been boosters but only for a time – a season – now it's time to move on.

You need to surround yourself with people that have the mentality that you want – not that you have.

Does this have an affect on your business?

Your business is nothing more than an extension of you, so if you are not growing because of toxic relationships, neither is your business.

The question is then…

“What are you going to do about it?”

Do you have a mindset for success?

1 comment