You Can’t (and Shouldn’t) Help Everyone

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’m having inconsistency in my business, and it’s bothering me. My goal is make more money and have less confusion and fewer steps to get there. I want to have fewer, higher paying clients. I know I can get these bigger clients, but I keep taking all the little clients.

I want to help them all. When someone comes to me, it’s like, “Why would I say no to someone who wants to pay me money? If I say no to this person, what if something else doesn’t come along?” But when I do that, I have less time to find that bigger client. What should I do?

Neagle Code Answer

That’s coming from fear.

It’s actually out of integrity for you to take every client. You can’t—and shouldn’t—help everyone.

As a professional, your job is to determine whether you can really help someone or not… and if you should help them or not.

You have to look at your own criteria. Consider:

  • How you want to run your business
  • The freedom you want
  • The amount of money you want to make
  • The people whom you can help

There will be always someone who wants your help, who you probably shouldn’t work with. You have to learn how to discern that—and not take those clients, even if they’re willing to pay you.

That’s not okay. If you do that, you lose. And you hurt your own integrity.

I know it seems crazy, but it’s a lack mindset to think otherwise.

You’ll feel so good about yourself when you tell someone, “No,” who seriously wants to pay you—because they don’t fit the criteria for working with you. That feels so good.

You’ll realize you’re overcoming your own fear of lack when you do that, which indicates growth—and that’s really good.

Remember…
you shouldn’t help everyone,
even if you CAN help them.

You mentioned that you want to work with “big clients.” So keep that in mind when you’re speaking to a potential client. Use a discerning process to look at whether a client fits your criteria.

Is the person who’s coming to you for help a “big” client? If the answer is yes, then you can proceed and figure out whether or not you can help them.

If the answer is no, then it’s not a match. Move on. Because you can’t help everyone.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! This October, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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When you put everyone else ahead of your needs…

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I notice I’ve been taking on responsibility for other people’s issues. I have a friend who’s in a health crisis. For the last nine months, I’ve been calling him every evening, just to have someone to chat with. It’s been very light. But recently, his story has gotten heavier. He lives alone and had to go to the ER. He reached out to me, because I’ve been communicating with him the most. (Nobody else could do it. I said yes.)

It wore me down. It feels like I’m carrying his responsibility myself. What’s the best way to handle this? Just do it, then recuperate? How do I ensure his heavy situation isn’t burdening me so much?

Neagle Code Answer

Whenever someone asks you for help (or even asks you a question) for any situation, you have to come from your #1 priority—“What is my outcome?”

When something outside of your scheduled days shows up, ask:

  • What’s actually happening here?
  • What’s the truth about this?
  • What is my outcome?
  • What is the clarity of my outcome?

You must be very clear in your conscious process that you won’t be subservient to another person’s story. Their story—and how they’re showing up—will have to be obedient to your clarity.

You’re responsible TO people, not FOR them.

You might determine that, “I need to get rest tonight, because I have a long day tomorrow, and I need to be focused. No, I won’t cut into my rest time to go save somebody else. Whatever they need is not my responsibility, and it doesn’t work for me at this moment.”

If you break that rule with yourself, you’re doing it because you’re getting into their story. Now their story becomes the thing you’re being “obedient” to.

You need clarity about everything you’re doing throughout your days—so that when something else shows up, you instantly know whether it’s a “yes” or “no.”

Even if you can help someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Always ask yourself: “How am I structuring my days so that I’m successful?

“Is this something I should be doing?”

You schedule your day based on what you need to do every day to win. Then you become obedient to that schedule.

The way I run my days, if something shows up that’s not an emergency and I’ve already planned out very specific things that need to be done (including my rest), then it’s automatically a no. Or I find somebody else to do it. Or I make a suggestion on how the person can get it done without me.

If you know your priorities, and you need rest more than you need to help someone else—then you can be fully in your power to say “no” to whatever just showed up in your life.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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What Am I Responsible For?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve heard you say we’re responsible for controlling our thoughts, what we say, and what we put out there to market our business. But we’re not responsible for how another person interprets what we say. “I’m not responsible for what someone understands.” Does that mean I’m not supposed to care about how they respond? Should I try to help them even if they don’t get it?

Neagle Code Answer

There’s a difference between not being responsible for how they interpret it and trying to help them see it in a more productive light.

If someone is working with me, I’ll always go to the 9th or 10th degree to help them see things in a more productive light—because I know they’re stuck. I know they’re coming from the reality of their current experience, or from a past story, or maybe even trauma in their life. And I know how difficult it is to break through that.

When a person completely rejects what you’re saying or trying to do, there’s nothing you can do about that.

Just understand that they’re responsible for how they interpret it and for what they decide to do with that information.

It’s totally okay to try to help a person understand something. But look at the context. Why are you having a conversation with this person to begin with?

Did they ask for help?

If they didn’t ask for help, in my opinion, it’s not our right to run in and save people.

My mentor Bob Proctor told me, “Everybody has a right to be as miserable as they want to be.”

We make ourselves miserable when we start going out there and trying to correct everybody else.

We have enough work to do on our own plate.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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I Keep Avoiding the Top-Priority Task on My List

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

One task I really need to work on is changing my program into a group model. I work on it every day, but it’s usually one of the last things I do. My quality of work might be better if I started on it earlier in the day. I feel like I should be doing more on it.

Even if I give myself a suggested time to finish it—other things always get in front of it and push it down the list. How do I get control of this?

Neagle Code Answer

You’re guaranteed not to fail if you can’t even start.

Every person I’ve ever seen do this, finds the perfect excuse not to get started—which protects them from failing, or having to confront what will happen if they complete the task.

Nothing “gets” in front of your high-priority task. YOU put things in front of it.

You have to stop doing that, and start playing hardball with yourself.

You have to prioritize and stick to doing it in the exact way you’re going to do it. It’s about keeping your commitment, so that you can get it done.

Once it’s done, you can work on the cause and effect—and make sure you’re getting the right results.

Then you can go in and work on what needs to be fixed in order to dial it in. If you’re not there yet, then whatever excuse is on the table will stop you.

I think you need to give yourself a firm completion date, then reverse engineer what needs to be done so that you hit that date.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Why Do I Keep Losing Employees?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I feel like I’m having abandonment issues with my employees. We’ve lost three or four in the last few years, and now we’re losing another one. I don’t think it’s related to me as a boss.

I’m taking on some of the tough work myself, like taking out the garbage, because it has to be done. I feel like I’m trying to buffer my employees from some of the real work, and it’s making me exhausted. Is this is an issue of abandonment?—or of not hiring the right person?

Neagle Code Answer

Here’s the thing: you’re not “losing” another employee. You’re transitioning a person through your company.

Let’s not look at it as a loss. It’s not a loss. It’s an opportunity for you, and it’s an opportunity for them.

You can look at everything you did right with this person and everything you did wrong, and you can become a better person with the next one you hire.

It’s always easier to do that than to try to change behaviors that have been going on too long with a current employee.

If you feel bad about what’s happening, you’re going to treat yourself badly. You’ll immediately go into a story of, “This is a loss. We’ve lost something.” What happens when you lose something? You grieve. You feel bad. You’re not celebratory about it.

You’re letting the wrong thinking get into your head. You guys should be like, “Woohoo! This is fantastic. It’s an opportunity for us to find the next rockstar for our business.”

It’s also about acceptance. People come and go in businesses. Most people in your business aren’t there for a lifetime. This isn’t a family. It’s more like a sports team.

If you start looking at it as a family, you’ll get attached. When you get attached, it doesn’t matter what the reason is—you’re going to be hurt when it’s time for that person to go, because it’s an unnatural attachment.

The problem is being caused by the fact that you don’t want to look at the reality of “people coming and going in a business,” because it makes you constantly have to do something you don’t like to do, but you have to do.

It’s easier to wish they wouldn’t leave than to become so damn good at hiring that it never disturbs you.

If you have to add another person to create a backup in case someone leaves, then absolutely do that—if you have a real need for that. But make sure you’re not making an emotional decision. Make the decision that’s best for the business.

What’s best for the business?

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Why Can’t I Hang On To Money?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve recently raised my prices and made almost $24,000. People are coming to me and asking to work with me, which is great. However, I’m having an interesting scenario where money’s coming in unexpectedly—and then in the same day, more of it goes out.

Bills are getting paid, and I’m happy to pay them. However, it feels like I’m chasing a dangling carrot. Stuff is coming in one day, only to be gone again the next day. It’s bizarre. I’m feeling anger and resentment about it, and find it hard to be in gratitude. Can you give me some guidance?

Neagle Code Answer

Do this quick little exercise. Hold your breath…and keep holding it. Don’t let it go. Just keep holding it.

Keep holding it…

Keep holding it…

Keep holding it…

If you’re like “David, I can’t do that,” then realize; you can’t do that with money either.

Just like you need to exhale and breathe in again, money needs to be spent (i.e., circulated) and brought back in again. That’s part of its nature.

Money wasn’t meant to come into our bank account and just stay in there. It’s meant to come in, and then go back out. Whether it’s for paying bills, being invested, donated, paying for things…

It’s meant to be in circulation.

The whole reason you bring it in, is so that you can send it back out again. It’s doing what it’s supposed to do. If bills are getting paid, and you’re making the money to pay them, that sounds like a good scenario to me. I’m not seeing a negative here.

My question to you would be: Are you paying yourself first?

This is the biggest mistake I see entrepreneurs make. They pay everyone else first and then resent the fact that there’s nothing left over for them.

This requires discipline.

If you want to generate wealth, I recommend setting aside 10% of your income and only using it toward things that appreciate. Do this religiously and without exception.

Once this becomes a habit you will see how easy it is to make enough to pay yourself AND everyone else.

You’ve got to take responsibility for your own situation.

You have to manage your money, and if you’re not good at it, hire someone to do it for you.

Join me on Tuesday for a free two-part training where I will be sharing More Hidden Secrets Inside A Wealth Mindset. CLICK HERE for all the info!

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Are You Too Pushy?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve heard you say you make sales calls and stay on the phone with people until they basically tell you to screw off. I’m also a bit relentless like that—I’m not afraid to reach out and enroll people into one of my programs.

However, I don’t want to be pushy. I know everyone’s on their own journey, and I want to respect what the other person says. Some are a ‘yes,’ others are a ‘no.’ Some are on the fence, with time and money objections—I don’t want to let those people off the hook.

Where do you draw the line between letting them be on their journey, and also being relentless in your pursuit?

Neagle Code Answer

When a person tells me, “No, I’m not interested, I don’t want to do this,” I move on. They have to be willing to do it. They have to want to change.

I see many people struggling with the same issues for years—until one day they decide they’re going to let the struggle go. That’s when change happens. I’ll stick with them through that.

For people who are on the fence…I’ll stick with them until they tell me they’re not going to do what I’m asking them to do. If they show up to a coaching session but don’t do what I asked them to, I’ll fire them. I’ll give them like three chances to change something. But if they’re not going to do it, then we have a conversation about letting them go.

Otherwise, they’ll end up blaming you for the results they’re not getting.

If you’re upselling someone and they’re on the fence—don’t let them walk away and just “think about it.” It’s not a think-about-it situation. Which questions aren’t getting answered? Let’s have a conversation about it.

In my company, we ask people to really make a decision. It’s like, get off the fence already, and make a choice. If you want to do this, let’s talk about it, we’ll help you. If you don’t want to do it, just say so, and we’ll leave you alone.

We’ll also do what’s called a “take-away.” We’ll say, “It sounds to me like this isn’t something you really want to do, so let’s just take that off the table.”

Sometimes they’ll come back and say, “No, no, no, I really want to do this.” Releasing the pressure actually pulls them forward, because they’re not pushing against you anymore.

In sales, your job is to help the other person reach a decision, even if it’s a no.

If somebody doesn’t want to do my program (or offer), that doesn’t mean I agree with them. I’m just respecting their boundary. That’s all. If they don’t want to continue, I’m like, “Cool, no problem.” If they don’t see the value in it, then don’t do it. I don’t want people spending money with me who aren’t going to do anything.

That’s a total waste of their time and money, and I’m all about the win-win.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! Starting this Monday, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How I Stop Judging People?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Tim.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I find myself judging a particular person in my life for the actions they’re taking. I don’t understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. I’m trying not to judge… but in my head, I feel like my mind automatically wants to judge this person. I’m thinking negative thoughts about it.

Even if I don’t say what I’m thinking out loud, am I still judging? If so, how do I stop?

Neagle Code Answer

The act of judging isn’t actually the problem. We all have to judge. We have to evaluate things as we go through life. That’s part of being human. That’s how we make decisions. We have to look at things (and people) and assess them to figure out if they’re healthy for us.

I don’t know what that person’s purpose is for what they’re doing. So I couldn’t give you the right information about it.

I think you need to simply ask that person why they’re doing what they’re doing, so you can get a better idea of where they’re coming from.

Judging has to do with perception.

You cannot not judge. It’s impossible. That would mean giving no meaning to anything in your life. That’s what we do—we give meaning to things. It’s a survival strategy. It prevents us from petting a tiger or something.

It keeps us alive.

If you’re thinking negative thoughts about the situation… then don’t think negatively about it. Think positively about it. Bring in gratitude if you need to. Be grateful for the situation.

But know that even if you think positively about it—you’re still judging. Switching from the negative to the positive makes sense, but it’s still a judgment.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In less than two weeks I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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I’m Afraid to Raise My Fees

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I attended one of your seminars in 2018, and I credit the first 15 minutes of it with fundamentally changing my business model. I’ve moved from a solely commission-based, to a fee-based model. I haven’t fully implemented this change across all of my customers yet. I’ve hit pause on approaching the ones who aren’t a giant pain in the ass.

What’s holding me back?

Neagle Code Answer

It’s a fear of losing business. It’s that simple.

Here’s the thing… sometimes when you make a change like that, you lose business—but then you end up getting more business.

During the most significant times when I changed my pricing based on my own growth, I always lost business at first. There were many people who weren’t going to continue. When you’re doubling or tripling your price, they just can’t make sense of it.

But then I immediately went out and brought in new clients at the new price. It wasn’t difficult at all. I was 100% solid in what I was doing, and that’s all you need to do.

If something is stopping you from moving forward and approaching that next level of customer, remember the following principle:

See what you want, be clear on your outcome, and go after it.

Fear shows up in interesting ways when you’re dealing with pricing and sales… it’s insidious as hell.

On Tuesday of this week I’m going to be hosting a FREE live 4-Hour Workshop to address some of the issues that pop up in sales and pricing when you’re looking to grow and expand, and I’m planning on giving everyone very specific step-by-step strategies to move through these issues quickly. Join me HERE!

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This month I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How to Visualize Your Future Self

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I have a question about visualization. What should it look like as a daily practice? Am I imagining a scenario? Am I feeling a state of gratitude? Am I seeing a symbol? How do you do it? How do you recommend people visualize? I’d like to make it a daily practice, so it feels more natural to do it.

Neagle Code Answer

Great question! I do something called a “Sacred Seven” each morning. I run through a process of determining how I want to be and how I want to show up throughout my day.

Let’s say you get up at 6:00 AM and go to bed at 10:00 PM. I’ll look at my calendar and see all these different things scheduled for me to do. (That’s another reason why everything in your life should be calendared, by the way.)

I look at each thing on my calendar and ask: “How do I need to show up to this today?” Maybe it’s a meeting, coaching call, live event, etc. These can even be activities in your personal life, like spending time with your significant other. It should all be on the calendar.

Ask yourself, “How do I want to show up to each of these activities?” Then see yourself being the person you want to be.

The more you do this, the easier it gets. You’ll reach the point where you’ll see yourself that way all the time.

As you go through your day, it’ll be fresh in your mind—the image of who you want to be. For example, if you have a client meeting, you could say, “Here’s this meeting; here’s what’s will happen. Here’s how I want to see myself—confident, negotiating, compassionate,” or whatever it is. Then see yourself showing up in that way.

If you catch yourself reacting negatively to someone, give yourself a timeout. Walk away, gather yourself, and figure out what’s going on with you.

Ask: ”Why am I acting this way? “Why am I choosing to have this experience?” “Why do I feel so angry right now?” It’s never about the person or the situation—it’s about you and what’s going on with you. It all goes back to responsibility.

The truth is, you control how you respond.

You can always come back to that intentional place of showing up in the way you want to show up.

At the end of the day, evaluate how well you did. You might be like, “Omg, I completely blew who I said I was going to be. I snapped at somebody or something.”

If you didn’t do well in one area, ask yourself, “How can I do that better next time?” Forgive yourself, so you’re not bringing shame or guilt in, or beating yourself up.

Then go into the law of cause and effect: “How did that happen? What caused it? What did I do? What did I miss? What do I need to learn?”

The next time you’re in a meeting, you’ll remember that. You’ll be able to show up as the person you said you were going to be.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This month I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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