Overcome the Fear of Rejection
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes fromΒ someone who wishes to remain anonymous.Β
I was working with your question of, βWhat am I resisting?β and Iβve come to realize that Iβm resisting being rejected in my work/business. If someone tells me βNo,β it feels like I just want to give up. It touches on the idea that Iβm not good enough.
No one has even told me straight up, βNo.β Iβm just scared of the idea of them telling me no.
How do I build and strengthen my self-worth?
Understand this:
When youβre in that fear of rejection, youβre not thinking about how you could help the other person. Youβre thinking about preserving yourself.
When someone rejects you, it has nothing to do with you.
It doesnβt matter what theyβre rejecting you about, either. It has to do with whatever is going on inside of them thatβs causing them to say no.
When weβre in business, and weβre offering something that would benefit others β whether itβs a product or service β and they need that product or service, and theyβre saying noβ¦what theyβre really doing is denying themselves of some kind of benefit or improvement in their life. Theyβre scared to move forward.
It has nothing to do with you.
Who rejected you when you were a child? Your mom or your dad?
Every time somebody tells you βno,β itβs like having both of your parents reject you. Itβs like having them say youβre not good enough, and βWe donβt love you.β
β¦Thatβs what your subconscious mind hears.
Hereβs the absolute truth. Brace yourselfβ¦
It doesnβt matter if your parents loved you or not. Because youβre an adult now, and your responsibility is to love yourself.
When you allow yourself to be the way youβre being right now, youβre saying, βI donβt love myself enough to not need it from someone else.β
Hereβs an exercise:
Every day, identify three things you appreciate about yourself.
β¦And this is very important. Youβve got to get rid of the anger you have for your parents. Youβre never going to be able to fully love yourself until you do.
You canβt will it away. The anger needs to be expressed. Youβve got to get it out of your body.
Sit down and write a letter to your parents. Youβre not going to give it to them β but tell them how angry you are at what they did (or didnβt do), and how they werenβt there for you.
Allow yourself to feel all that emotion.
Next, find three things every day that you appreciate about yourself. Start focusing on the things you love in life.
You have to save yourself. Nobodyβs coming to save you. Iβm sorry they didnβt come when you were sixβ¦but youβre not six anymore.
You have to let it go.
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