Tag: taking control

Last time, I told you that in order to develop unshakeable self-confidence, you have to be in control of you. You have to be your own authority.

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

If you’re listening to someone else, you’re not listening to yourself.

You’re ceding your own authority, looking outside of yourself for answers; when, in fact, everything you need to know comes from within.

You Know Best
YOU know better than anyone else who you are and what you need.

But until you recognize that truth, and step into your own authority, you will never lead yourself to a place of 100% self-confidence.

And the steps I’m going to show you over the next few weeks to develop that self-confidence won’t have the desired effect.

So before I move on to that first step, I want you to take this simple quiz to determine if you are in control of yourself and, if not, who is:

Quiz

Are You in Control of You?

1. Do you have the desire to do something that you’re not doing?

Yes or No?

If you answered yes, something or someone else is in control of you. It really is as simple as that.

2. When you feel like doing something, do you tend to talk yourself out of it?

Yes or No?

If you answered yes, again, you’re putting someone else’s agenda over yours.

3. If you aren’t in control of yourself, ask yourself, “Who is?”

Is it a parent? Religious leader? Your spouse?

Whose voice is drowning out your own internal voice?

Who is telling you who you are, what you should be doing, where you should be going and how you should be doing it?

Your inner wisdom is right there for you, trying to guide you in all ways, but most people just aren’t listening.

Fortunately, you have a choice.

Make a Decision
You have the power right now to make a decision that from here on, you’re going to be your own authority and let no one else control you but you.

You have the power to start listening to your internal voice and follow its guidance.

You have the power to say, “This is who I am. This is what I want. This is who I want to be in my life. These are the experiences I want to have. This is how much money I want to make. And here are the ways I want to give back to others in my life.”

Because the truth is, you choose who has the power in your life. And you always have.

I say, choose you.

Be in control of you.

Be your own authority, and you will rekindle the self-confidence that is your birthright.

You can’t tell people that you’re the right mentor for them. They’ll just get defensive and resist. You have to influence them so that they have that thought themselves. If the idea to work with you is their own, they’ll listen to it.

If you position yourself correctly to your ideal clients (Pillars 1-3), and then apply the 4th Pillar, this will happen automatically, and they will want to do business with you.

How do you apply the 4th Pillar?

You ask them questions during a discovery conversation that lead them to connect powerfully with their own truth.

The Discovery Conversation
During this conversation, two things need to take place simultaneously:

1. Control. You must control the conversation. This is essential for influence.

2. Discovery. You need to discover where they are in relationship to what they want and don’t want. Where are they in relationship to the problem?

You accomplish both of those goals by asking questions.

If You’re Telling, You’re Not Selling
Notice that I said you’re asking questions. You’re not telling them what to do or how they should be thinking about their problem or even what their problem is.

The old adage: “If you’re telling, you’re not selling” is 100% accurate. There are very few times during a sales conversation when you tell the prospects anything.

The first is in the beginning when you set up the parameters of the conversation.

And the second is at the end, when you tell them that you need their credit card and a signed contract.

Now, a couple of times you may need to move the conversation in another direction. You have to give it a little jolt because it got off course.

Why Are Questions so Important?
When you tell people what’s wrong with them or what they need, they get defensive, like I said. They go into their stories, and try to escape.

That’s when you’ll start to hear “objections,” such as they can’t afford it or it’s not the right time or they need to think about it.

The real issue is that they’re not clear yet. They likely don’t understand what their actual problem is, and they definitely can’t see its solution.

But no amount of you telling them what that problem is will bring them to clarity.

Asking them questions, however, can.

When you ask questions, you’re in your power, and you also put them in theirs.

Your questions uplift them. They lift up in their mind a different way of thinking about their problem, and they begin to connect the dots.

If you’ve followed the 4th Pillar, as I’m laying it out, they can finally see the true nature of their problem as well as its solution.

So what exactly do you ask them?

I’ll share those four questions with you next time.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost
program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

David, I am really hoping you can make sense of this. Over the past 1 1/2 years I have been one of those people who worked to make everything perfect.

I was just recently able to feel really ready and move forward on the goals for my new business.

Ever since the day I chose to get going, things have just been happening. My mom passed away, my brand new laptop crashed and the guys doing the repairs, well it's an ugly story … The store is now spending over $1,000.00 to try and retrieve information I have lost.
David, I know this means something. I am absolutely not going to let this hold me back over the long run, but I just want peace back.

Help please,

Donna