Toxic Team Member
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
I am a business owner and have a small 5-person team. My issue is that my office manager has been with me for YEARS…but I’m noticing recently that I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her and I avoid having conversations with her about her performance…in fact, I even feel guilty about asking her to change or do things differently. My gut is telling me this is not a good situation, but my heart is telling me that I need her on my team.
What is going on?
To be honest, the answer to this question is that you’re allowing a toxic relationship to develop within your business.
The feeling that you’re walking on eggshells is a key indicator that you’ve got an unhealthy work relationship in the works. And here’s the thing… if you don’t face this issue head on it will become a cancer within your business and affect you, your team and your profits.
One of the many ways that toxic people manipulate is by doing things for you and then making you feel obligated to them.
And if you’re like most people, you make it easy for them to do this in two main ways:
1. You are practically primed to feel guilty.
Because guilt is a value that so many people are raised with and know very well, it’s not difficult for a toxic person to inflict it upon you, and use it as a tool to control you and get you to do what they want.
2. You don’t set consistent and clear boundaries — or any boundaries at all.
Boundaries are imaginary lines between you and others that divide up what’s yours and what’s theirs.
This applies not only to your body, your money and your belongings, but also to your feelings, thoughts and needs.
One word of caution here.
Toxic people don’t like it when
you start setting boundaries.
That’s because you’re breaking the subconscious agreement between you, which is: “I’m going to abuse you” or “I’m going to be toxic in your life.”
Also, setting boundaries will likely trigger them, — which can actually intensify their manipulation as they try to beat you back down into the submissive place where they once had you.
That’s why it’s really important to get education and support in dealing with, and safely disengaging from, the toxic people in your life.
And then finally, you can begin to create the healthy, supportive team that you desire.
Join me Tuesday, Aug 6th and Thursday Aug 8th for a FREE 2-Part training I’m hosting that will help you see if toxic relationships are sabotaging your business. And as an added bonus I’m going to teach you the EXACT words you need to say to set a boundary with anyone in any scenario. CLICK HERE for all the details!
PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.
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