Tag: tolerating

Fuzzy goals? How to clarify your vision

October 7, 2017

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Shirley Marie.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

If I do not have a vision and am ready to totally reinvent myself and my direction, how do I start? Most exercises assume one has a vision, and I just can’t see that for myself, even though I feel I want something different. Please help.

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Shirley Marie, and thanks for your question.

The truth is you do have a vision, but there is a part of you that is afraid of seeing it.

Here are two different strategies that I’ve found really help my students open to their vision.

Strategy 1:

Make a list of all the things in your life
that you are tolerating.

What you desire is just the opposite side of what you don’t desire.

Making this list is an excellent way of starting small and building toward a vision. By eliminating your tolerations one by one, you can begin to see what you do want for yourself.

Strategy 2:

Journal.

Let me be more specific. Approach your vision journal with an air of curiosity. Ask yourself: If I had a vision, I wonder what it would be…

And then begin writing. Don’t censor anything. Write it ALL down.

Be OK with it changing daily. Be OK with it seeming ridiculous, too big, not clear enough, etc.

Allow yourself to play with ideas and fantasize about possibilities. As you do this, your vision will begin to take shape.

And remember visions change. What your vision is today may not be your vision in a year, but start where you are and begin to make small shifts and advances.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

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Two strategies to clearly define your vision

January 10, 2015

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from CPK.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I have been through many programs. I have a lot of degrees and training in my profession, but after 20 years and a heart attack, I do not and have not had a vision. So, if I do not have a vision and am ready to totally reinvent myself and my direction at 59, how do I start? Most exercises assume one has a vision, then set goals.

Neagle Code Answer

Hi CPK and thanks for your question.

The truth is you do have a vision, but there is a part of you that is afraid of seeing it.

Here are two different strategies that I’ve found really help my students open to their vision.

Strategy 1:

Make a list of all the things in your life that you are tolerating. What you desire is just the opposite side of what you don’t desire.

Making this list is an excellent way of starting small and building toward a vision. By eliminating your tolerations one by one, you can begin to see what you do want for yourself.

Strategy 2:

Journal. Let me be more specific. Approach your vision journal with an air of curiosity. Ask yourself: If I had a vision, I wonder what it would be…

And then begin writing. Don’t censor anything. Write it ALL down.

Be ok with it changing daily. Be ok with it seeming ridiculous, too big, not clear enough, etc.

Allow yourself to play with ideas and fantasize about possibilities. As you do this, your vision will begin to take shape.

And remember, visions change. What your vision is today may not be your vision in a year, but start where you are and begin to make small shifts and advances.

Interesting Image

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

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I made a lot of mistakes, now what?

February 9, 2013

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.


Neagle Code Question

 

Hi David,

My business has gone through a lot of changes this year – mostly because of mistakes that I made partnering with the wrong people. I have made the changes to get out of that situation, and since then I have been struggling to figure out what I really want. I believe I want passive income, and to help business owners succeed using my knowledge of business management best practices, but not sure how to change the way things are now to achieve that.

I just started reading your book, and finding it helpful. I would love your feedback.


Neagle Code Answer

Hi and thanks for your question. After reading this a second time, I think you are actually asking me two questions.

The first question was about figuring out what you want.

Many people who I have had the pleasure of teaching over the years, have struggled with figuring out what they want. Part of the problem is that as a child, you were probably taught that you couldn't have what you wanted. Being told this over and over again, shut down your capacity to dream or even fantasize about what you want.

Here's a sure fire way to help you.

Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and make a list of ALL the things you are tolerating in your life. By ALL I mean everything in your personal life AND your business life. Write down the smallest little annoyances, and also the really big things.

Once your list is complete, go to work on changing those things.

Pretty soon, you'll realize that you are beginning to see clearly what you want.

Your second question was about not knowing how to change to achieve what you want.

Change always starts with a decision.

This can be tricky.

If you are deciding what you want based on the perceived “problems” of the change that will need to be made, you will never make a decision.

Start with your list of tolerations.

Then decide what you want.

Finally, begin taking action toward that change.

And always remember, change is messy.

If it were easy, everyone would be wealthy.

In the end, it is those who are willing to change, adapt and grow that achieve the most success in life.

Just Believe,®
Interesting Image

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.
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What are you tolerating?

March 17, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Pat.

Question:

Why I have attracted bullies into my life?

My earliest memories are of being ‘picked on' by siblings & school mates, having my possessions and artwork ridiculed and even vandalized, ideas and belongings stolen and given or credited to someone else.

I've been bullied by bosses, to the point I had a mental breakdown. I've been bullied by clients… people ‘pull the pin' on a project and refuse to pay or demand a refund after I've invested thousands of dollars in design and development.

I've been forced to take a job I hate, give up my design business. And I have an awful feeling that my new boss is another bully.

Even my spouse bullies me at times, speaking to me as if I were a child, treating me like I am not capable of the simplest things.

I used to be confident, self-assured, brilliantly intelligent, highly skilled, despite all the bullies I tolerated in my youth… but now after almost 50 years, it feels like I just can't take another emotional, financial or spiritual beating. (The only abuse I've been spared is physical.)

What could I possibly have done to ‘ask for it' like this, in every aspect of my life? I hate being a victim, I've always sworn I didn't want to be a victim, and yet, here I am – bankrupt, hopeless and heartbroken.

Answer:

Hi Pat!

The answer to this lies in the fact that at some point in your life, you gave your power away.

Sometimes this happens slowly due to a gradually escalating abusive relationship, and sometimes it happens when we are children and we don't even really realize we had power to begin with.

The beauty of the situation is that this keeps showing up in your life to get you to see that you need to take your power back and STEP into being POWERFUL.

Bullies don't want anything to do with a powerful person, because they can sense the strength at an energetic level.

In order to take your power back, I suggest that you make a list of ALL the things you are tolerating in your life, and then one by one either shift them or eliminate them.

This is non-negotiable! If you're tolerating it, it MUST change.

Being a victim may have served a purpose in your past, but it certainly is not serving you now.

You may also want to do some study to help rebuild your self-esteem. Read The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden, I think it will really shine some light on what's happening.

OK, now it's up to you…step into your power and then GO KICK SOME ASS!

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

13 comments

For better or for worse?

January 14, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Hi David,
I am in a very painful relationship, and I know that I am responsible for it. I have been trying for a year now to work on myself (with many methods) but there is no improvement. My biggest confusion arises in me because I don't understand if I should leave the relationship or if I work enough on myself I will find myself happiness and in peace in this relationship. Can you clarify this for me?
Thank you.

Answer:

Thanks for your question.

Have you ever heard the saying that people come in to our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime?

It's the truth, and knowing when to release a relationship can be a difficult decision.

If you're in a relationship with an abusive person, you can work on yourself for years and it still won't change them, and really it's not your right to try to change them.

You have to ask yourself why you're choosing to stay in the relationship if it's been so painful.

How is it serving you?

Are you a hope addict?

Are you staying the relationship in the hopes that your partner will change and everything will get better?

Are you afraid to be alone?

In a healthy relationship, both people have to be willing to work on themselves to achieve a joint goal. If one person is not willing to grow, over time it will create a wedge in the relationship, and it will flounder and fail.

Are you and your partner on the same page or are you changing who you are and sacrificing what you want to “make” the relationship work?

Answering these questions will help you see if it's time to leave.

Please keep in mind, if you are being abused in ANY way, you must make every effort to stop the abuse by putting up boundaries or you must leave the relationship. Period.

Remember, you may be responsible for the attracting all the relationships in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate a relationship if it is no longer serving you.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

13 comments