How Do I Overcome Imposter Syndrome?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

The term “imposter syndrome” keeps coming up in my awareness. Can you speak to the meaning of that? What is your understanding of imposter syndrome?

Neagle Code Answer

Imposter syndrome is when your self-image doesn’t match up with the direction you want to go… and you don’t feel worthy of what you actually want in life.

Obviously, that needs to be changed at a self-image level.

There’s a quote from “A Course in Miracles” about self-image. If you’re having an issue with your self-image, you should read it 50 times a day, and behave as if you’re that person:

“The truth about you is so lofty that nothing unworthy of God is worthy of you. Choose, then, what you want in these terms and accept nothing that you would not offer to God as wholly fitting for Him.”

This is the only way to change your self-image once you’re an adult.

Remember, the way you learned as a child is not the same way you learn as an adult. As a child, we learned by gathering information, remembering it, then feeding it back to someone… who then said we learned.

As an adult, our learning is experiential.

Once you’re an adult, if you want to change the results in your life, you have to acknowledge where you are and do something different.

If it’s an internal change you have to make, then you have to be willing to do things to raise your self-esteem to the level where you want to be.

This will never be an intellectual process first. It will always be behavioral first, intellectual second.

That means you step into the actions you’re taking to move forward.

Who do you want to be, while stepping into those actions?

This is where the rewiring of your mind happens. When you’re taking action, you develop the confidence to actually do it.

Imposter syndrome is literally feeling like an imposter. Feeling like, “This isn’t me. I’m stepping into this, and it’s not true.”

It’s all about doing the thing in order to become the person you want to be.

And remember — the part of you that doesn’t feel worthy is coming from someone else’s voice in your head.

It’s not your voice.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! This October, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Is Self-Judgment Helpful?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

My question is around self-judgment. I really resonate with the idea of accepting who you are and what you’ve done in the past.

However, this idea bothers me bit. There are certain standards I want to set for different things in my life. How do I maintain these certain standards if I’m not judging myself? When is self-judgment appropriate?

Neagle Code Answer

Self-judgment isn’t ever appropriate. It does nothing.

You can look at yourself critically and say, “Here are things about me that need to be fixed, that I need to work on, that I can get better at.”

But to feel guilt or shame—or to make yourself a bad person because of it—that’s self-abuse.

You want to judge the result or outcome, not you.

If I get a result that I don’t want, I say, “Okay, what’s the standard that I want to create for myself to get a different result?”

I don’t judge myself as “bad” because of it.

Here’s the truth. If you don’t get the result you want—it’s either due to ignorance, or it’s due to a program you picked up when you were a kid. That’s all it is.

You can get the correct information so that you’re no longer ignorant. AND you can change your internal program, so that you’re no longer held back by your old belief system. (With both of these, it helps to work with a coach who’s been where you want to be.)

There doesn’t have to be any self-judgment around it at all.

Nobody ever felt better by making themselves feel bad.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! This month, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Should I Stay Away From What Triggers Me?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

My question is regarding being triggered.

I’ll be reading an autobiography, and I’ll get triggered by the author’s story, and immediately stop reading.

Also, I was in a store recently, and a lady was arguing with the cashier. I couldn’t take it, so I grabbed my son and left. Then I realized, “I’m running away from an argument.” It seems like I stay away from anything that would trigger me even slightly. What can I do about this?

Neagle Code Answer

That’s not good.

You don’t want to stay away from things that trigger you. You want to change it so that you’re not triggered by it anymore.

There are so many good transformation stories in autobiographies, it’s incredible. But when you can’t go any further, then you miss all the great messages in the book.

Your subconscious mind figured out the exact way to stop you from hearing the good messages. It said, “Don’t listen to this anymore.”

So you agree with it.

And it seems real, because you get triggered—so then you don’t go any further.

That’s how insidious your subconscious mind is.

As for running away from the argument in the store, you’re not healing it. You’re running away from it because you don’t want to feel whatever emotions are behind that.

Recognize what the trigger is, then change it. Change it to what you want it to be, so that you’re no longer triggered by it.

And remember… you can’t just “think” something different.

You have to internalize the new thought.

If you just think something different, nothing changes. Thinking, by itself, is completely benign. That’s not how we’re programmed. And that’s not how we change a program.

You have to get your whole body involved. Get your mind, emotions, and physicality involved.

The moment you get triggered, identify what the trigger is, so that you know what it is.

Then jump up, get excited, clap your hands together. Confirm what the new belief is that you want—and do it over and over again for about five minutes. You have to reprogram your nervous system.

Do whatever works for you. You could dance or do something else. Move your body into the change.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How Do I Handle My Character Being Attacked?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

Someone has viciously attacked my character, and he doesn’t even know me at all.

I know this isn’t a business question. But if you’re in business, this happens a lot, right? You go out there, write books, and have a ton of exposure to other people. How do you create a strategy to be able to deal with this? I’ve read and reread the harsh attack about me a couple times. I can’t un-read it. How do you handle it?

Neagle Code Answer

You ignore it. You don’t let it into your head.

If you’re in business, it’s absolutely going to happen.

Here’s the first thing. From a healthy perspective, ask yourself, “Is anything this person said true?” Because sometimes we need negative criticism to wake us up about things.

If it’s all BS, then just say, “This is BS. I reject it.” You can reject it with your conscious mind.

Just don’t get emotional about it.

He’s obviously projecting onto you. Just completely let it go. Take it as a great lesson—-the bigger you get in life, the more people you’re going to be exposed to.

That’s just the way that it is.

I don’t pay any attention to any of the negative crap I get online. I don’t get much, but I do get some, and I just don’t pay attention to it.

I know who I am.

I have very trusted people around me who will tell me when I’m messing up, every time. I trust them to tell me that.

Here’s the other thing—when somebody does something like that in a non-productive way (which is exactly what this sounds like), you know it’s projection.

You know it’s projection because it’s not productive. If someone wanted to give you healthy criticism about something, they’d do it in a healthy way.

When they do it in a mean way or a nasty way, they’re projecting their own internal image onto somebody else. Everything he said to you is probably something that’s going on with him or somebody in his own life.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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I Grew Up with a Family of Alcoholics

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I grew up in a family of alcoholics, and there was not a lot of communication or love shown in my family. I’ve struggled with letting myself be free and open, and really going for what I want.

I’ve always felt like I’m capable of doing different things. But if I don’t reach my goal, or if things get too hard, it’s easy for me to jump ship and go to something else. It’s like I always jump from one thing to the next without letting myself get emotionally involved in the results. As a teenager, I felt like I didn’t have any passion for anything—and I still feel like that today. How can I overcome this?

Neagle Code Answer

If you grew up in a family of alcoholics, I want you to understand something very important.

The predominant emotional charge in families of alcoholics is shame. It’s almost impossible to get to passion when shame is overriding everything that’s going on. This has been known for a long time.

There’s a way to overcome shame and get out of it, but you have to consistently work at it.

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to live that way. You don’t have to let shame control your life. It’s a skillset, learning how to get out of shame. It’s a big issue to be in a family dealing with that much dysfunction. I know it’s hard.

But you have nothing to be ashamed of. And neither does anybody in your family.

The shame that families of alcoholics experience is projected by society. They’ve taken it on.

But you have nothing to be ashamed of.

The fact is, people who engage in substance abuse are trying to find a way out of some pain they feel. They just don’t know how to get there. Substance abuse provides a fast way out of the pain.

It’s actually a reflection of someone’s higher consciousness trying to get out of the pain, but they were never shown how. In the essence of that idea alone…there’s tremendous amount of pride and love that goes into that.

It’s not an addiction to alcohol that’s the problem; it’s an addiction to how you feel, versus the pain that you’re experiencing.

We want to get out of the pain. We want to step into the idea that:

“I can generate these feelings on my own, and I don’t need a substance to be able to do it. I don’t need to live in a bottle for the rest of my life, and I don’t have to succumb to the shame that society projects on me.”

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Kids at School Told Me I Wasn’t Smart

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I always thought I was a confident person in terms of my abilities and my intelligence. After doing your exercise, it became clear that maybe on a subconscious level, I don’t think I’m important or intelligent—and I’m always seeking external validation from others. I get pissed off when someone doesn’t acknowledge my intelligence.

When I was younger, my family always told me I was bright and intelligent. But some kids at school told me I wasn’t smart.

How do I transform my thinking and self-belief so that I believe I am important?

Neagle Code Answer

Great question.

The first thing I’d ask is…whose voice is that in your head that tells you you’re not intelligent or important?

Because it’s not yours.

Where did you hear that as a child?

Usually the voice comes from a parent or someone who raised you. And it can cause us to form beliefs that doesn’t serve us later in life.

If, in fact, it was the other kids at school who insinuated that you’re not intelligent, then ask yourself this question….

“What did I want from them that I didn’t get, that caused this to be so painful for me?”

I don’t think it’s necessarily about the intelligence piece. It’s probably more like acceptance, love, or something. Maybe you wanted them to like you.

See if you can clearly identify what that is.

Once you’re aware of this, look at all the areas of your life where you’ve been trying to get this from other people.

How is it holding you back?

A need to be liked, loved, or accepted can hold you back from doing the things you need to do to reach your goals and move forward.

For example, if you’re in business and you have a need to be liked, admired, or respected by the “cool kids” (or whatever it is for you), you might not say the things you need to say during sales conversations in order to close the sale.

Whatever you’re trying to get from other people, flip it around—how can you give that to yourself, so that you don’t need it from others?

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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I Can’t Handle All This Work!

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

The floodgates have opened. Everybody I’ve ever spoken to has now decided they want to work with me. Business is great. I’m excited. It’s been quite the year.

However, there’s been a big shift—suddenly part of my team is leaving. I don’t fully trust that this success will continue. I have so much work on my plate, it’s getting messy. I need to get systems in place to be able to handle it all.

Part of me wants to back off and say, “This is too much.” But I asked for it. So what should my attitude be around this? Is this where I need to push through to get to the other side?

Neagle Code Answer

No, this is where you need to ask for help.

This isn’t a question of, “What do I need to do?” It’s a ‘who’ question. Who do you need to ask for help? Who do you need to hire? Who can help you handle the increased work load without compromising quality?

When we continue to push through and be bogged down with work, that’s a middle-class mindset. The idea is that you expand. In order to expand, you have to hire the right people to take your business to the next level.

Many entrepreneurs think, “Oh, I can’t afford to expand right now.” You can’t afford NOT to expand.

If you’re not growing (expanding), you’re dying.

Always hire in the direction you’re going. The question is, who do you need to help you, so that you’re not overwhelmed and you can keep doing the thing you’re brilliant at?

Regarding some of your team members leaving…this is a normal part of being in business. It’s happening. Don’t victimize around your previous team members leaving. Don’t create a disempowering story around it in your mind.

Right now you need to be very open in your mindset, to allow the new people whom you need to hire to show up. Tell yourself those individuals will be even better. They’ll get even more work done. They’ll contribute even more to the growth of your business.

Make the decision that you’re going to bring these people in…and move forward.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Why “How?” is the Wrong Question to Ask

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

When you talk about “turning your yearly income into a monthly income,” my mind automatically wants to say, “Yeah right. How? Show me the way. Tell me exactly what you did and I’ll repeat the steps.” I’ve heard you say that asking “How?” is automatically asking the wrong question—and that we should be thinking in a different direction. Do I need to look at this from another angle instead of asking “How”?

Neagle Code Answer

It’s a decision. That’s all it is—a decision that you will.

Asking “how” before you’ve made the decision is a way to control. If you set a goal, or you hear me inspire you to do something really cool, and you go, “Yeah, sure, show me how”—that’s a way to control.

That question is coming from a place of not believing it’s possible to begin with. So you won’t do what you actually have to do to hit the goal.

The idea is, if you’re inspired to do something, you would say:

“I’m going to do it. I’m making a decision to do it. I don’t need to know how—I just need to make the decision that I’m going to do it.” Then set a date by which you’ll complete that thing.

In that moment, everything you need to do begins to show up, because you’ve done something that is your greatest power—making a decision. That gets you in line with the universe, and looking for the things you need to do next to hit the goal.

Many people will make the decision, but then go backwards and “un-decide”… because something shows up that makes them waiver. That’s why they go back and forth. They haven’t really made the decision.

You can’t un-decide.

It all goes back to the question, “Are you willing?” It’s a huge question, because you don’t know what you’re saying yes to. You might have to do things you’re uncomfortable with. Until you make the decision, you don’t know what’s blocking you from your success.

It becomes apparent as you start to go down that journey. Then it becomes a question of, “Am I willing to sacrifice something of a lower nature to gain something of a higher nature?”

You’ll hit a point where the biggest thing you’re attached to shows up. It’s usually the thing that makes or breaks people. They’re either willing to let go of the thing they’re attached to the most that’s keeping them stuck—or they’re NOT willing to.

This is where you’ll see a person instantly turn into a victim or start blaming.

Whatever shows up for them really is the crux of what they’re going to have to accept in order to step into their greatness.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Can I Rewrite My Childhood Story?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

For the past couple days, I’ve been pretending that I had a Cosby life (like in the good days of the Cosby Show). I was pretending my parents were educated professionals who were encouraging, loving, and supportive. I noticed that while I was pretending this was my backstory, I felt more confident. Is changing your belief about yourself really that simple?

Neagle Code Answer

Yes, it’s that simple.

The reason you feel more confident is because your subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. The subconscious is the emotional mind. It can’t determine whether the image you’re giving to it is real or pretend.

When you build an image in your mind, and you’re emotionally attaching to it in that moment, you start manifesting that image in the form of the emotional healing you’d experience if you actually did it.

Whether it’s real or something you’re making up—your subconscious mind can’t tell the difference.

It operates as if it was real.

When you’re doing this, you’re creating parallel emotions, as if it was real and as if you’re experiencing it in your body.

If you keep doing this through constant space repetition, you’ll transform everything in your life, so that it matches that belief system.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing this with—the hardest part is being consistent. Conceptually, it’s easy to understand. You could explain this to a sixth grader and they’d get it.

Breaking the old patterns consistently is the hard part.

In the Bible, Christ talks about being like a child, because a child doesn’t doubt anything. Whatever you tell them, they automatically believe it. They’ll go into character around that belief. He says the kingdom of heaven belongs to the children.

He was basically saying it’s as easy as being like a child. Just use your imagination to build a new image.

All the other crap people told you that you’re operating with is what makes it difficult.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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What Happens After We Die?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve always wanted spirituality in my life. I’ve had exposure to some spiritual ideas, but I don’t fully understand it. In all of your studies, have you formed an opinion about what happens when we die? Have you read any books that “clicked” around this idea for you?

Neagle Code Answer

Yes, I have an opinion. First, let me ask: why are you asking this question? Understanding why you’re asking will determine what answers you’re looking for.

Do you want the truth? Or do you want a “feel-good” story? If you want to know the truth, you’ll find it. If you want something else—a resurrection story, a Santa Claus story, a bunny story—you’ll find those, because they’re all there.

What’s interesting is that we have the ability to ask this question. If we can ask, then we can also find the answer.

I believe that before we were born, our energy was already here. It was present, and we had a purpose before we came into this body. (What we were doing, or in what form that energy was in—I don’t know.)

When we’re born, we come into this body as a form of energy. When we die, we move out of this body, but the energy never goes away. Energy is neither created or destroyed; it just is.

It transforms from one thing to another.

My opinion is that when you die, you transform to the next stage of your growth in your journey of being energy and a soul. What that looks like, I can’t tell you.

I work with some very credible people who’d say, “What you do and what you accumulate doesn’t matter. What you learn, who you become, and the awareness you gain in this lifetime is what matters—all of that goes with you forever onto your next journey. Based on everything we currently know, I believe that’s 100% true.

What helped me form this opinion was asking, “What’s the starting point for a human being?” For most people, the starting point is that they’re a victim. Almost everyone is given a victim story from the moment they’re born. If that’s true…then what? Where do you go from there?

If I come into life believing I’m a victim, that hurts everyone around me, because I’ll spread my victim belief to everyone else. The shadow side of being a victim is being a perpetrator. So I keep that cycle going. That cycle does not fit God’s modus operandi—which is “more life.”

Coming into life as a victim does not fit the universal laws.

It became apparent to me that before we came into this body, we must have chosen to do so. Believing we chose to come here—and that we’re responsible for our life—sets everyone free. It fits the universal laws.

I’d recommend reading the Conversations With God trilogy. Try to be completely open to it as you read it. If you don’t want to know the truth, you’ll be shut off to anything that comes in. It will become the perfect reason NOT to find the truth.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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