[5 Simple Steps to Unshakeable Self-Confidence Series] Article #3 ~ Encouraged to Be Confident?


Most parents, while trying to keep their children safe, inadvertently, teach them to fear.

As I explained last time, if fear-inducing messages outweigh confidence-nurturing messages, you grow up approaching opportunities with a sense of caution, rather than stepping into the world with courage and confidence.

Fortunately, as I’m showing you in this series, it is possible to root out this early programming and redevelop the unshakeable confidence that you were born with.

What Were YOU Taught?
The first step to any change is to be honest. Look at your own childhood to see what was nurtured in you.

Were you encouraged to be courageous and bold?

Or were you taught to look under every bush?

What kinds of messages did you hear more of as you were growing up?

Did you parents tell you that can do anything you put your mind to?

Or did they mostly tell you what’s not possible, even if they disguised it with outrage or resentment.

For instance, “Only rich people get to do that.” Or “The system is rigged against people like us.”

We’re programmed with either fear or confidence, not both.

And it’s the predominant message that wins out.

Again, your socioeconomic status has little to do with it.

Children can be raised in a ghetto with drugs and gangs, but if prominent people in their lives encourage them and feed their minds with what they could and can do, those children can sail beyond their peers, who lack that same support.

And we certainly don’t have to look far to see people raised with wealth and privilege, who seem to squander the opportunities that come their way.

The Welcome Chink in the Armor
As I said, 99% of the time, I grew up hearing what I cannot do. But, fortunately, two factors intervened to help me break the cycle of fear.

1. I was inquisitive enough to hold onto the idea that I would like to do something meaningful even though everybody was telling me I could not.

2. My parents got divorced and I moved around a bit.

Most kids look back at their parents’ divorce and bouncing around the country as something harmful. For me, it was beneficial.

Their divorce when I was young allowed me to have a variety of experiences that broke up the fear-inducing messages a little bit.

It didn’t squash the messages I was getting at home, but it allowed other messages to come in that I could hear.

So I didn’t get as solid in what I thought I couldn’t do.

There was always a chink in that armor.

And there was always enough wonder about what I really wanted to do, which kept that spark alive.

You have that spark as well, or you would not be reading these words.

So hear this, while you need to recognize the truth of your programming, it actually doesn’t matter how thoroughly you were programmed to fear.

Because, in this series, I will show you the five steps for fanning that little spark of what you think you can do into a flame.

And with that flame of unshakeable self-confidence, you can be, do, or have whatever you want.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

 

 

 

 

5 Simple Steps to Unshakeable Self-Confidence Series] Article #2 ~ You Were Taught to Fear


As I said last time, you were born self-confident. When you were a baby, you didn’t stop yourself from exploring your world.

If you have children, you know that this is true. Toddlers get into everything.

And well-meaning parents and guardians, while attempting to keep their children safe, unfortunately, undermine their natural self-confidence and teach them to fear.

How Fear Is Taught
Humans aren’t born with the same instinct that runs through the rest of the animal kingdom that basically tells them what to do and what not to do.

Our nature is to explore, to determine what we want and don’t want, and then to create our environment to reflect our desires.

For the most part, other species adapt to their environments rather than create them. Sure, beavers can build elaborate dams and ants remarkable tunnels, but animals aren’t going to build a rocket ship and send it to the moon. They don’t have the same capacity as we do to create — or destroy — their environment.

During their explorations, children can get themselves into all kinds of dangerous situations.

They’ll put their hand on a hot stove. They’ll walk into water that’s over their head. They’ll climb tall trees and towers.

Since there’s only so much a parent can do to protect their children, they teach their kids to protect themselves by programming fear into them. A few of these fear-inducing messages include:

“No, don’t do that.”
“You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“You need to stay safe,” etc.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. Of course, you have to protect your children. You have to cover sharp corners and warn them of the real dangers in the world.

You just want to make sure that the balance of confidence-nurturing messages outweighs the fear-inducing ones.

What is the child hearing more of as they go through those formative years before they get into adulthood? That is the issue.

For instance, when I was growing up, 99% of what I was taught was what not to do, as opposed to being taught what I could do.

Fear Becomes a Habit
If fear messages are programmed into you more than confidence messages, you develop anxieties, worries, concerns.

All the reasons why you can’t do something are programmed into your little mind, and fear becomes a habit.

As you start to become an adult, you observe the world you’re stepping into through the lens of fear, approaching all opportunities with an attitude of caution instead of courage and confidence.

For example, you might look for a job that offers the most security, as opposed to something you would enjoy.

Instead of thinking what you will do, create, be, or even overcome, in order to make your mark in the world, you’re thinking how you can keep yourself safe.

Those two very different mindsets inform every choice you make, and create drastically different lives.

So the million-dollar question, which I’ll return to next time, is this: What was the approach of the people who raised you?

Were you predominantly taught what you could do or what you could not do?

Was your natural confidence nurtured and affirmed? Or were you taught to fear?

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

[5 Simple Steps to Unshakeable Self-Confidence Series] Article #1 ~ You Were Born Self-Confident


You’ve surely seen this phenomenon:

Someone who was raised in poverty achieves a great deal of success, while another person, who seemingly was given every advantage in life, squanders it.

If you’ve ever wondered why that is, seemingly is the word to notice.

Because, while that advantaged person may have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, the person raised in lesser circumstances actually got the better deal, if she was raised to have confidence in herself.

Let Me Lead You to Confidence
When I was first starting out in my own business, I was also doing sales training for the company owned by my mentor, Bob Proctor.

After a couple of these trainings, I noticed that one of the biggest problems plaguing my trainees was their lack of self-confidence.

Thinking I had the key, I told Bob that all we had to do was teach them confidence.

He looked at me and said, “You can’t teach a person confidence.”

I quickly disagreed. I figured if you can get the idea, you can do anything. And while that’s true, I realized later what he meant.

I can’t teach you to be confident. I can, however, lead you to it.

I can lead you through this 5-part process for developing self-confidence, and hope that, like the proverbial horse, you drink it in.

But before you start taking that draft of self-confidence, you need to understand how it develops.

You Were Born This Way
Webster’s dictionary defines self-confidence in part as, “A feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.”

You were born self-confident. Nothing inside you stopped you from exploring your world.

Now, some of us were fortunate to have guardians who nurtured our native confidence, so that, rather than withering on the vine, it actually grew.

And, despite any unfortunate circumstances, we actually achieve the goals that we set. We’re on purpose in our life, and we break through barriers and obstacles that we encounter along the way.

If you weren’t raised to have unshakeable self-confidence, don’t despair, because you can develop it in yourself, like I did.

The truth is you have the ability to do virtually anything that you can wrap your mind around.

When you were a toddler, you knew that.

Just think about how many times a toddler falls down before she finally learns to stand, and then walk. It’s really phenomenal, when you think about the confidence it takes for a toddler to keep getting up.

But she does. She has an idea of walking, and she tries again and again until she succeeds.

You can be like that toddler again.

If you apply the five steps in this series, you can develop self-confidence that, in time, will become unshakeable.

And once you do that, virtually nothing is off-limits. You can do, be, or have whatever you want.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.