What to do when success strains family relationships

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mariarosa G.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am the daughter of a family who was raised VERY poor, and their expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in an uncomfortable place. I’ve hit a ceiling, and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore or I won’t “be like them” anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you may not fit in anymore.

You may not relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you may not be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward,
you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

This doesn’t mean that you love them any less…
it just means that it’s time to change.

Accept that change, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you and who are also several steps ahead of you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE life…who are you going to live it for?

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

Where to focus when the unexpected sets you back

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

I'm beginning to feel a bit jaded about my work… it seems like regardless of how hard I try, I always only have “enough.”

I really desire more for my life but it seems like every time I make some traction, I also have an unexpected expense (i.e. owing more in taxes, car trouble, family emergency, etc.), and then the next month I make less, and I’m back where I started. Is this a wealth ceiling problem? Can you help me see what’s going on here?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks so much for your question!

Based on your question, I do not believe you have a “wealth ceiling” problem.

Looks to me like you may have a focus problem.

Here’s the truth:

You’ll ALWAYS have
unexpected expenses.

What I’m wondering is:

What were you focused on as those
unexpected expenses began to pile up?

As the car trouble happened, were you focused on the car trouble or were you focused on hitting your monthly financial goal?

When you experienced a family emergency, were you focused on the emergency or on hitting your financial goal?

The truth is that those unexpected expenses were just distractions created by your sub-conscious mind to keep you from growing.

The key to solving this roller coaster problem is to continually stay focused on:

1)  What you want

      and

2)  What actions will take you closer to what you want

There will always be unexpected expenses, so set up an “unexpected expenses” bank account, and funnel a percentage of your monthly income into that account. That way, when an expense pops up, you’re “expecting” it and can easily pay for it without it being a distraction.

This will allow you to keep your focus on your goal.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

Distracted and afraid? How to build your business anyway

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I know what I have to do to grow my business and fulfill my purpose, but every time I get the courage to pick up the phone and reach out to someone, fear stops me and I end up allowing myself to get distracted. I don’t know what to do to overcome this. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Neagle Code Answer

First, let’s bring awareness to what’s really happening here.

Your subconscious mind does not understand time, and therefore does not see your lack of sales in this moment as a potential major catastrophe for your business in the near future. It only sees that you’re safe right where you are, and that’s exactly where it wants you to stay.

Every time you start to make a move outside of that paradigm, you will feel fear. You’ll begin to have thoughts of:

• What if they think I’m salesy?
• What if they think I’m pushy?
• What if I make a mistake and say the wrong thing?
• What if they reject me or hang up on me?
• What if I’m bothering them?

And you stop.

You don’t make the call or have the conversation, and you stay exactly where you are.

I come from a place of bringing truth into a person's life, so consider this:

Your purpose has safety automatically built into it.

Why would that be?

That means that you would have to be safe doing it, or there would be no purpose in more life, it’s one and the same.

So this fear that you feel is actually a lie designed to keep you small and safe.

And here’s the REAL kicker:

The fear you feel is ACTUALLY POINTING YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

If you’re experiencing fear when you’re looking at moving towards your purpose, it is because that is in direct conflict with what you’ve been programmed with; the false need for safety.

Use your ability to choose.

Pick up that phone.

Have that conversation.

Step more fully into your purpose, and as you do this, the fear will subside.

After all, it’s only a lie…

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

Is your business on life support? What to do with limited time

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Elaina.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am running my business from home with two small children. I am struggling to get on the computer every night after they are both asleep. I manage to carve out five hours a week for myself. My business is on life support right now, and I’m frustrated. My question is: if you only had five hours a week to focus on your business, what would you do?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Elaina!

The truth is, I think you’re asking the wrong question…

I don’t know of any successful business owners who have obtained their success by working
five hours per week on their business.

You’re certainly not setting yourself up for success that way.

I suggest you first get clear on your goal.

Do you want a small side business, or do you want a thriving business?

If you want to run a successful and thriving business, you may want to hire help to come in and care for your children so that you can focus on that goal.

Bringing in childcare, even for a few hours per day, would make a massive difference in your business.

Look at what else you’re doing that is taking you away from business building and sales opportunities.

These are the things you’re using as an excuse to stay small.

Have you:

•  hired a cleaning service?
•  hired a lawn service?
•  hired a personal assistant?

You see, if you are spending your time doing all those things, you are not in your own brilliance, and your time is being wasted when it could be used to create what you REALLY want in life.

It sounds to me that in order to truly build your business, you need to build in support for yourself so that you can be the captain of the ship, rather than a passenger.

Can you give yourself permission to do that?

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

What’s a reasonable timeline for achieving goals?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Robert.

Neagle Code Question

Hello David!

Thanks for taking my question!

How do you determine what is reasonable when setting timelines for goal attainment?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Robert!

Sometimes, time is not a factor when setting goals, and other times, it’s important to do your research before setting that goal.

Some business owners use
time as an excuse.


They say things like:

“When I get “x” number clients, I’ll do “z”.”

This is a dysfunctional way of looking at time. It keeps a business owner playing small, and I certainly don’t recommend it, especially when a quantum leap can sometimes occur just by making a decision that time is NOT a factor.


If you do have a goal that requires time, for example, building a house, you must do your research and be flexible with your timelines.

Obviously it’s tough for me to guess at what your goal entails, but be honest with yourself.

Are you using time as an excuse or are you building in reasons to delay?

OR

Do you need to gather more information to see what tasks need to be completed for you to attain your goal?

Always remember, nature abhors a vacuum.

Work will always fill the time allotted.

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

What’s the difference between a goal and a vision?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve heard you mention goals quite often in your teaching. I’m confused… is a goal like a vision? Can you please clarify for me?

Neagle Code Answer

A vision is a clear picture of what you’d like for your life or business.

When I was just starting out, my vision was pretty simple. I could only see a few things.

I wanted:

  • A boat
  • Property in Central Wisconsin for when I retired

Some people have grander visions like a house in Italy or speaking on huge stages.

The key piece with a vision is that it is not about anyone else.

It’s what you want for you;


and it maybe hidden in your secret thoughts that you’ve never told anyone about.

A goal is a step toward that big vision.

It’s something you need to do that will take you closer to realizing your vision.


My vision was to buy a boat, so I set a goal for myself to double my income.

By increasing my income, I would be closer to having the ability to buy that boat.

Think of goals as the rungs of a ladder that lead to your vision at the top.

Keep in mind that as you take steps toward your vision, it may begin to change.

As your vision changes continue setting goals to take you closer to that vision, and when you see opportunities, always ask yourself:

Is this taking me closer to
my vision or further away?


Let your vision be your guide.


PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

 

Want to ditch the up-level chaos?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

I have been stepping up to bigger challenges in my business, which is very exciting, but this brings up feelings of chaos inside. The more I stretch myself and go out of my comfort zone, the more it happens. It can go on for days, and I watch and let it (chaos) happen, then I get on with things, but I wonder what can be done to stop this altogether? It's a waste of energy. Thank you.

Neagle Code Answer

What a fantastic question!

Here’s the good news…

You don’t need to create chaos every time you grow and stretch.

And the thing is…

You can control it all by
controlling your thoughts.


This is something I learned very early on in my own journey, and it’s why even today, I study profusely. Everywhere I go I carry my books with me.

You see, your thoughts and emotions CREATE your circumstances. Most people have that backwards. They think that their circumstances “happen”, and then they allow those circumstances to control what they think and feel. This in turn just creates more of the unwanted circumstances.

The next time you stretch in your business or personal life, arm yourself with the TRUTH.

As soon as you feel your mind going into chaos, take control of those thoughts by studying the truth.

Read books like:

  • Working With the Law  by Raymond Holliwell
  • As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
  • The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles

OR

The most important thing here is that YOU control your thoughts and your thoughts create your circumstances.

Fill your mind with the truth and the chaos will stop.


Pretty empowering, right?!

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free.  See the sidebar to ask your question today!

How do I break out of the cycle of debt?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I have been listening to your Art of Success Business School podcast (which is amazing) and realized a pattern I have perpetuated my entire adult life. The pattern has been to invest in school, and now my business, which creates debt. That in turn creates pressure to work to eliminate the debt, which I always have, only to turn around and repeat the same pattern. My question is now that I can clearly see this pattern, how do I get to the root cause of it?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks for your question!

Here’s the thing…getting to the root cause isn’t necessarily going to solve the problem, and it will just distract you from doing what’s necessary to change the pattern.

Sometimes it takes a while to get to a root cause, and it’s even more difficult if you’re trying to do it yourself.

What I suggest is to start focusing on the solution to the issue rather than on the cause (which just keeps you in the pattern).

The solution is to
RAISE YOUR BOTTOM LINE
.

Right now, you’re used to only bringing in “just enough”. You have to raise that bottom bar.

For example, instead of setting your sights on just bringing in enough to survive, increase that to 10%, 20%, 30% ABOVE what you need to just get by.

And then DO NOT LET YOURSELF off the hook.

You see, it’s a two-part process. The first part is making the decision to bring in more than enough, the second part is being willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you hit that goal.

You may want to start with a small increase to begin to build that muscle, and once you hit that goal, use that momentum to keep going to the next goal.

You’ll have to keep those commitments to yourself or this won’t work. You must not stop prior to hitting the goal.

If you do, you’ll be back in the same pattern.

Give yourself this new experience of bringing in more than enough, and you’ll break the pattern!

If anyone else is interested in my Art of Success Business School, click here for free access:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/david-neagles-art-of-success-business-school/id1263237772

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free.

I’m not getting any younger. How do I create success quickly?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’m not getting any younger. I have things I want to create and people I want to impact. How do I turn my past financial failures into financial success very quickly?

Neagle Code Answer

Fantastic question!

Failure is simply a judgment placed on a result.

The real problem lies with how
we THINK and FEEL about failure.

If you fail and attach emotional meaning to that failure, it will trigger a core belief about yourself.

You may even say things to yourself like:

“I’m not smart enough, I’m never going to succeed, I can’t believe this isn’t working, what’s wrong with me?”

“My parents were right…”

Or even

“ I don’t even know why I bother…”

This is how the downward spiral starts.

The truth is that failure is nothing more than a result.

And the purpose of that result is for our own learning.

Ask yourself:

What don’t I understand about this?

Who do I need to be to get a different result?

The most successful people in the world have experienced more failure than success.

After all, your own success lies in the ability to respond to results… to course correct and take risks in order to get different results without attaching emotions.

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free.

Why did my best client let me go?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Kalisee.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’m a social media specialist and I recently received an email from a really great client letting me know that she no longer wants to receive my services. She has 4 months left in her commitment with my company, and I have no idea what’s happened as she’s received great ROI from working with me. I’m not sure how to respond to her email. Do you have any suggestions?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Kalisee,

Thanks for the question!

My number one rule of thumb in situations like this is to never respond via email.

I recommend you pick up the phone and reach out to your client.

First, it’s imperative that you find out what’s caused her to request to be released.

Do not make assumptions.

It could be that she’s had a family emergency or it could be that something has triggered her into fear, worry and doubt.

You’ll never know if you don’t call her, and if you don’t know, you can’t help her.

Approach the conversation in a way that let’s her know that you truly care about what she’s experiencing and ask questions that get to the bottom of what’s really going on.

From there you can decide together what is the best course of action.

In my experience, those phone calls are very powerful and usually end up in the client feeling better and sticking with the program with a renewed sense of possibility.

JustBelieve_Logo-01

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free.