Category: Relationships

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Hi David,

What do you do if you have a direct conflict with someone else in your life regarding your beliefs? I have heard you say in the past to be authentic to yourself regarding your beliefs as long as it doesn’t interfere with the choice and will of others on these things, but what if it interferes with them if I follow my beliefs and they choose to do something they believe?

Great question. Let me explain this a little more …

It is all about whether you interfere with their ability to choose, not their choice itself.

Our choice around our belief is independent of anybody else.

So, even if your choice was in direct opposition of their choice, you’re not taking away their ability to choose. They can still choose, but it may not be the same thing you are choosing.

Where this becomes a problem is when someone is averse to conflict.

I see this all the time with entrepreneurs.

They make a choice, that is not really what they would choose for themselves, because they are worried about how someone else (team, spouse, family) will FEEL if they actually chose what they wanted for themselves.

This, in turn, creates a great inner conflict, and they end up creating all kinds of chaos in their life and business.

As a business owner, you have a right to choose how you will run your business and your team has the choice to stay or go.

As a person you have the right to choose how you want to live, and your spouse or friends have the choice to stay or go. Now obviously I would hope that you would have open conversations about your individual desires prior to it getting to that point, but you can see what I mean.

You choosing your belief is not taking away anyone else’s right to choose for themselves.

And in fact, if you don’t own your beliefs and desires, you will end up in resistance to your own purpose. You’ll experience a profound value conflict that is causing your resistance to doing the things necessary to grow your business.

I’m doing an entire 60-minute FREE training on The Universal Law of Non-Resistance on Tuesday at 1pm ET. I’ll be explaining this more in-depth and giving some tips on how to quickly identify and move through resistance…there’s nothing worse than the inner tug of war caused by a value conflict! CLICK HERE for the details!

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

David,

I am a business owner and have a small 5-person team. My issue is that my office manager has been with me for YEARS…but I’m noticing recently that I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her and I avoid having conversations with her about her performance…in fact, I even feel guilty about asking her to change or do things differently. My gut is telling me this is not a good situation, but my heart is telling me that I need her on my team.

What is going on?

To be honest, the answer to this question is that you’re allowing a toxic relationship to develop within your business.

The feeling that you’re walking on eggshells is a key indicator that you’ve got an unhealthy work relationship in the works. And here’s the thing… if you don’t face this issue head on it will become a cancer within your business and affect you, your team and your profits.

One of the many ways that toxic people manipulate is by doing things for you and then making you feel obligated to them.

And if you’re like most people, you make it easy for them to do this in two main ways:

1. You are practically primed to feel guilty.

Because guilt is a value that so many people are raised with and know very well, it’s not difficult for a toxic person to inflict it upon you, and use it as a tool to control you and get you to do what they want.

2. You don’t set consistent and clear boundaries — or any boundaries at all.

Boundaries are imaginary lines between you and others that divide up what’s yours and what’s theirs.

This applies not only to your body, your money and your belongings, but also to your feelings, thoughts and needs.

One word of caution here.

Toxic people don’t like it when
you start setting boundaries.

That’s because you’re breaking the subconscious agreement between you, which is: “I’m going to abuse you” or “I’m going to be toxic in your life.”

Also, setting boundaries will likely trigger them, — which can actually intensify their manipulation as they try to beat you back down into the submissive place where they once had you.

That’s why it’s really important to get education and support in dealing with, and safely disengaging from, the toxic people in your life.

And then finally, you can begin to create the healthy, supportive team that you desire.

Join me Tuesday, Aug 6th and Thursday Aug 8th for a FREE 2-Part training I’m hosting that will help you see if toxic relationships are sabotaging your business. And as an added bonus I’m going to teach you the EXACT words you need to say to set a boundary with anyone in any scenario. CLICK HERE for all the details!

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David,

I have a 27 year-old daughter who is ruining her life. She doesn’t take responsibility for any of her actions, and she seems dedicated to distracting me from growing my business. I’ve heard you teach about unhealthy attachments, but she’s my daughter…

Any suggestions?

This is one of those questions for which there is no magic fix.

There are a few things here that you need to really think about.

1. You are 100% responsible for everything in your own life.

2. Your daughter is an adult so you are no longer responsible FOR her.

3. It is not your job to fix her. She is the only one who can change herself, and that’s only if she wishes to change.

The only way she can distract you from your business is if you let her.

This means that you have to decide whether or not you are going to tolerate toxic relationships in your life.

It doesn’t mean that
you no longer love her.

In fact, the solution to your problem is to love her for who she is without judgment, and limit the time you spend with her by setting boundaries around what is acceptable in your life and what is not.

We all need to learn about cause and effect, and we are all responsible for our own choices and lives.

One of the best gifts we can give our children is to allow them to have their own experiences and carve their own way, even if we may not agree with them.

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David!

I’ve been studying a book you recommended on Universal Law, but my question is about application of those Laws. I’m an attorney and I’m looking to grow my business through referrals. How do I apply the Laws when it comes to developing referral relationships?

Hi!

Great question!

It’s actually a pretty simple strategy…

GIVE.

When you give you are obeying the Universal Law of Reciprocity.

Do your homework.

Take the time to really understand what your potential partner is currently working on.

Learn what message they are most interested in expanding in the world right now, and approach them with the intention of finding out how you can help.

Then formulate a plan to do so.

One great suggestion may be to send an invitation to your potential partner offering to introduce them to your connections or subscribers via email or interview with an explanation of how they would be of great interest and benefit to your current and past clients.

4-6 weeks later, send a card reiterating how much you appreciated the opportunity to introduce them to your connections or client, and remind them of your offer to help them anytime, if there’s anything further that they need.

So you see it’s quite simple…

Give FIRST and build a relationship that will both last and reciprocate.

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David,

There is a person in my life who sees the negative in every situation. If he does say something good or nice about something, he ends it with a negative.

How do you handle a situation like this? Oh…I should probably mention the person I’m referring to is my partner.

Hi!

I think it’s important to understand that you don’t have to “handle” the situation.

I think a better question to ask yourself is, “Why am I choosing to have this negative person in my life?”

There are two things we need to understand:

1)    This person has every right to be negative and judgmental, and it’s not anyone else’s responsibility or right to change him/her.

2)    When you are around someone who is negative, it is very hard for you to consciously reject their thoughts and feelings; and pretty soon you may find yourself uttering those same negative words. You are influenced by the people around you whether you want to admit it or not.

My mentor, Bob Proctor, refused to spend time with people who were negative and lack-minded, because he knew they had the ability to change his thinking without him even realizing it, and I feel the same way.

So are you choosing to spend time with this person in hopes of changing them?

Or

Are you afraid to remove yourself from this negative person’s life?

Get very honest
with yourself…

It all boils down to making a decision based upon what’s in your best interest, understanding that everyone else has the right to think, live and believe whatever they choose.

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Why have I attracted abuses into my life?

My earliest memories are of being ‘picked on' by my peers. I've also been abused by authority figures. And most recently, I've been pushed around by clients who refuse to pay for the work I’ve fulfilled.

Even my spouse and children mistreat me at times, speaking to me as if I were a child, treating me like I am a complete idiot.

You teach that we have to take personal responsibility for everything in our lives, but what could I possibly have done to ask for this?

Hi, and thanks for the GREAT question!

The answer to this lies in the fact that at some point in your life, you gave your power away.

Sometimes this happens slowly due to a gradually escalating abusive relationship, and sometimes it happens when we are children and we don’t even really realize we had power to begin with.

The beauty of the situation is that this keeps showing up in your life to get you to see that you need to

Take your power back and
STEP into being POWERFUL.

Abusers don’t want anything to do with a powerful person, because they can sense the strength at an energetic level.

In order to take your power back, I suggest that you make a list of ALL the things you are tolerating in your life, and then one by one either shift them or eliminate them.

This is non-negotiable! If you’re tolerating it, it MUST change.

Being a victim may have served a purpose in your past, but it certainly is not serving you now.

You must also begin to set boundaries with the people in your life. You need to tell them what you will no longer tolerate.

The next time someone belittles you or verbally abuses you, stop them and tell them that you will no longer tolerate being spoken to that way and remove yourself from the situation.

OK, now it’s up to you…step into your power and then GO KICK SOME ASS!

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my brand new podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hello David!

I've been in business for myself a couple of years, and I'm to the point where I'm ready to walk away because I'm having a hell of a time dealing with my employees. I tend to be kind and put their priorities and needs first. I feel like the conductor of a runaway train, and I am afraid I will ruin my business success if something doesn't change. What's your opinion?

Hi, and thanks for the question!

“Dealing” with employees and “considering their needs” are two totally different things.

Because I'm not sure of the exact scenarios you are referencing, I'm going to make some assumptions in order to help you get some clarity about what's going on in your business.

My guess is that you would rather be liked than prosperous.

Let me explain.

If you put your employees needs over the needs of your business because you are afraid that they won't like you if you tell them no, you would rather be liked than prosperous.

If you avoid having the “difficult” conversations with your employees regarding expectations and responsibilities because you're worried they won't like you, you would rather be liked than prosperous.

You see, it's one thing to consider the needs of your employees, it's an entirely different thing if your employees' needs negatively affect your business.

Communication is key in any business setting, and if you're having difficulty communicating for fear of what others will think, you're putting your business in a very perilous position.

The key is to really become aware of what's happening.

Most people experience this in their business because they fear the judgment of others.

Judgment is painful and therefore, they are willing to do anything to avoid it.

Freedom is in realizing that the judgment of others has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who is judging.

Employees respect a leader who communicates expectations and is confident and clear.

PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my brand new podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.

Will you do me a favor? Subscribe, listen and leave me a review! I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks in advance…click on the graphic below to listen in:

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David,

How do I know if my personal life may be affecting my success? I'm in a strained relationship currently and I'm experiencing chaos in my business as well which is resulting in a month-by-month financial loss. Is this related or two totally separate issues I need to look at?

Thanks so much for your question!

How you do anything is how you do everything, but there are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if your personal relationships could be affecting your success.

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

If you find yourself making decisions or stopping yourself for fear of what someone else will think, say or react, then you really need to take a close look at that relationship.

Is that you?

Are you true to yourself, or do you make decisions based on what you believe your partner may feel, think or say?

Be honest with yourself.

In a healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if they don't agree; they have the option to accept your desires or leave the relationship.

 

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

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This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mariarosa G.

Hi David!

I am the daughter of a family who was raised VERY poor, and their expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in an uncomfortable place. I’ve hit a ceiling, and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore or I won’t “be like them” anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

Hi, and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you may not fit in anymore.

You may not relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you may not be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward,
you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

This doesn’t mean that you love them any less…
it just means that it’s time to change.

Accept that change, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you and who are also several steps ahead of you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE life…who are you going to live it for?

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!