Why have I attracted abuses into my life?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Why have I attracted abuses into my life?

My earliest memories are of being ‘picked on' by my peers. I've also been abused by bosses and authority figures. I've been pushed around by clients who refuse to pay for work I’ve fulfilled.

Even my spouse mistreats me at times, speaking to me as if I were a child, treating me like I am not capable of the simplest things.

You teach that we have to take personal responsibility for everything in our lives, but what could I possibly have done to ask for this?

Neagle Code Answer

Hi and thanks for the GREAT question!

The answer to this lies in the fact that at some point in your life, you gave your power away.

Sometimes this happens slowly due to a gradually escalating abusive relationship, and sometimes it happens when we are children and we don’t even really realize we had power to begin with.

The beauty of the situation is that this keeps showing up in your life to get you to see that you need to take your power back and STEP into being POWERFUL.

Abusers don’t want anything to do with a powerful person, because they can sense the strength at an energetic level.

In order to take your power back, I suggest that you make a list of ALL the things you are tolerating in your life, and then one by one either shift them or eliminate them.

This is non-negotiable! If you’re tolerating it, it MUST change.

Being a victim may have served a purpose in your past, but it certainly is not serving you now.

You must also begin to set boundaries with the people in your life. You need to tell them what you will no longer tolerate.

The next time someone belittles you or verbally abuses you, stop them and tell them that you will no longer tolerate being spoken to that way and remove yourself from the situation.

OK, now it’s up to you…step into your power and then GO KICK SOME ASS!


PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.


  1. This is so powerful David! No pun intended. In my early years I tolerated just about anything or any form of abuse. And through the years I have gotten better and better. And then, just two weeks ago I got another chance to be even more powerful than I ever have.

    Two weeks ago a man on the beach followed me out to my favorite spot and was being super inappropriate with me. I won’t go into details but let’s just say that this guy was pretty bold with his private parts lol! At first, I went into victim mode. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. But then I realized that this situation was a huge GIFT and I could be brave. I could be powerful. I just had to choose it. I took my power back. I confronted him and took a picture of him, his car and his licence plate and called 911. As I ran towards him with my camera taking pictures, he ran to his car and left. Boom!

    And you’re right, abusers HATE powerful, centered people. It scared the heck out of them.

    Great article and thank you for sharing. You are such a gift!

    • Congrats on taking your power back Alysa; I can see just how big of a shift that was for you. In any situation where you feel as if someone is being abusive toward you, rely on the muscle memory you are currently building to give you the strength to confront it. Safely of course, but evoking clear boundaries. The abusers are nothing more than cowards and when that boundary is drawn they more often than not retract. I appreciate you sharing your breakthrough.

  2. I really want to thank you for this question and response. I had been working at a sales job for the past year and the verbal abuse just kept getting worse and worse. It finally culminated in the bosses ex wife accusing me of giving her the silent treatment and calling me a F%&#$ing B#$#%. Why I don’t know, I had always tried to be nice to her even though her anger was explosive. I had sold $50,000 for the company that month and honestly I just couldn’t take it anymore. The boss said I just needed to work it out with her and she didn’t do anything wrong. I just walked off the job and even though I am scared and not sure of my next step, I feel the advice is really solid. I removed my self from this toxic situation and I need to find a way to step into my power. Thanks for this advise it’s been a bright spot to focus on in this tough time.

    • No one should be subjected to that type of treatment Tonja, neither in a personal or professional setting. It may seem like a difficult time at the moment but remember how the laws work; you have left something of a lower nature to allow for something of a higher nature to take its place. You have sent a clear message to the Universe that you will no longer tolerate this type of behavior from anyone, and as long as you keep moving forward you will achieve the desire you intend. Best of luck in finding that next position and your next level of growth. I appreciate the post.