You can’t tell people that you’re the right mentor for them. They’ll just get defensive and resist. You have to influence them so that they have that thought themselves. If the idea to work with you is their own, they’ll listen to it.

If you position yourself correctly to your ideal clients (Pillars 1-3), and then apply the 4th Pillar, this will happen automatically, and they will want to do business with you.

How do you apply the 4th Pillar?

You ask them questions during a discovery conversation that lead them to connect powerfully with their own truth.

The Discovery Conversation
During this conversation, two things need to take place simultaneously:

1. Control. You must control the conversation. This is essential for influence.

2. Discovery. You need to discover where they are in relationship to what they want and don’t want. Where are they in relationship to the problem?

You accomplish both of those goals by asking questions.

If You’re Telling, You’re Not Selling
Notice that I said you’re asking questions. You’re not telling them what to do or how they should be thinking about their problem or even what their problem is.

The old adage: “If you’re telling, you’re not selling” is 100% accurate. There are very few times during a sales conversation when you tell the prospects anything.

The first is in the beginning when you set up the parameters of the conversation.

And the second is at the end, when you tell them that you need their credit card and a signed contract.

Now, a couple of times you may need to move the conversation in another direction. You have to give it a little jolt because it got off course.

Why Are Questions so Important?
When you tell people what’s wrong with them or what they need, they get defensive, like I said. They go into their stories, and try to escape.

That’s when you’ll start to hear “objections,” such as they can’t afford it or it’s not the right time or they need to think about it.

The real issue is that they’re not clear yet. They likely don’t understand what their actual problem is, and they definitely can’t see its solution.

But no amount of you telling them what that problem is will bring them to clarity.

Asking them questions, however, can.

When you ask questions, you’re in your power, and you also put them in theirs.

Your questions uplift them. They lift up in their mind a different way of thinking about their problem, and they begin to connect the dots.

If you’ve followed the 4th Pillar, as I’m laying it out, they can finally see the true nature of their problem as well as its solution.

So what exactly do you ask them?

I’ll share those four questions with you next time.

Hi David!

I have seen over and over again, coaches marketing “masterminds.” Can you explain the concept of a mastermind vs. a coaching program? I’m a bit confused as to the difference.

Let me explain the difference.

The definition of a mastermind that I prefer is found in Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. I strongly encourage you to read Chapter 10: Power of The Mastermind: The Driving Force.

He defines a mastermind as a “coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”

He breaks a powerful mastermind into 2 characteristics:

1) The first characteristic is economic. Hill explains that “economic advantages may be created by people who surround themselves with the advice, counsel, and personal cooperation of a group of people who are willing to lend them whole hearted aid in a spirit of perfect harmony.” He goes on to state that, “this form of cooperative alliance has been the basis of nearly every great fortune.”

2) The second characteristic is based on the premise that “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible and intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”

The biggest difference between a coaching program that calls itself a mastermind vs. a true mastermind is that in a coaching program, generally people gather to learn from or get support from one “expert.” In a true mastermind, all participants are “equal” and have a goal of helping each other, knowing that in return, they will also be helped.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Mastering the art of influence can enable you to close sales at a ratio of 80-100% in 15 minutes ~ provided you are talking to your ideal client.

Remember, your ideal client is not just a personification of your target market. These are people who already want or need your product or service, and they’re demonstrating an urgency to change by actively seeking a solution.

So the key to attracting your ideal client, as I said last time, is to determine exactly where they are demonstrating the need for what you do, both on- and offline.

Easy, right?

It actually is. And if you did the exercise in the last article, you should have a long list.

Ignorance or Fear
If you don’t have a long list and you’re not finding your ideal clients, there are really only two reasons. The first is ignorance: you don’t know how to find them. We solved that problem in the last article.

The other reason is fear, which can mask as ignorance. So, if you’re not finding your ideal clients, you have to ask yourself if you’re afraid to do so.

Listen, if that’s true for you, I get it. I’ve been there, and everybody I’ve worked with has been there as well.

All you have to do is make a little shift in your mind, and my job is to help you do that. If you want help with this, just schedule an appointment with my team.

Easy to Find
Because the truth is, your ideal clients are easy to find ~ especially in the Internet age.

When I first started, all I had was a magazine with a list of 100 top sellers. That’s it. A list of names and the states they lived in. I didn’t even know what cities they were in.

But I had the urgency to push past my own fear, so I called information for all the phone numbers that went with those names. And then I called everyone in that state with that name until I found the right person.

You can imagine, for a common name like Smith or Jones, that could take 50 phone calls. I would literally ask, “Are you the John Smith that was just listed in such and such magazine?” If they said no, I kept going until I found the right person.
When I finally reached that person, you know what I said? “I just called 50 John Smiths to find you. That’s how important this call is.”

With just that one list, I filled an entire seminar.

If I can do that, you can find your ideal clients and fill your workshops and classes or work with them one on one.

So what are you waiting for?

If you haven’t already done so, brainstorm about where your ideal clients are meeting on- and offline, and come up with your list. And then meet me back here for Pillar 4.

Hi David!

I’m plagued by my fear of disappointing my clients. This is resulting in me over-delivering, and basically being controlled by my clients every whim and demand. Do you have any suggestion on how I can move past this?

Thanks!!

The answer is both simple and a journey in itself.

You must learn to love yourself.

The reason you’re afraid of disappointing someone is because you are relying on them to make you feel ok or worthy or good enough or loved (you pick).

At some point in your life you picked up the belief that you had to be something, do something or act a certain way to be loved. If you disappointed someone, either there were dangerous consequences, or they withheld love.

Here’s an example to help you see what I mean:

A child struggles in school. Even though they are giving it their best, they bring home an F on their report card. The child’s parents are disappointed, and instead of helping the child work to figure out why they are struggling, they get upset, angry or even punish the child.

The message is clear to the child that they are not good enough. So they work harder at doing whatever they can to gain the acceptance of their parents, because to them acceptance now equals love.

Fast forward to your situation.

You don’t want to do anything to upset your client because it will cause you to feel that same pain you felt as a child, and so you’re willing to put up with anything or do anything to avoid feeling that way again.

The only way to stop feeling this way is to love yourself and to stop seeking love and acceptance from your clients.

Unconditionally.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

I started my business as a life coach 4 years ago but I am not successful. I assume this is because I am confused a lot. I know so many techniques and have helped so many different people with equally different problems that I get confused the minute I think about defining a niche.

How can I get clarity and continue this work that I am truly good at? I can't bear the idea of going back to the corporate world.

Thanks for your help!

It usually pops up when someone has a fear of making a wrong choice or a mistake, so let’s look for the truth to bring you back on track.

My question for you is this: Why do you feel the need to define a niche?

I have a hunch that you heard somewhere that to have a successful business you need to niche.

And I couldn’t disagree more.

I see entrepreneurs running themselves out of business because they are trying to define a specific niche rather than spending time listening to their potential clients and speaking to large audiences.

My advice would be to stop trying to define a niche and instead get out there and help as many people as you can.

You’ll know when it’s time to niche, and you won’t be confused by it.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

When people talk about their “ideal client,” they sometimes focus on attributes and demographics.

While identifying those qualities can be helpful, you’ll be much more successful if you define your “ideal client” this way:

Ideal clients are people who already have the urgency to change. You don’t have to convince them that they have a problem. They know it.

You also don’t have to twist their arms to get them to spend money to fix their problem. They’re already doing that too.

Their Urgency to Change
They’re buying books and going to conferences, seminars, and workshops. They’re actively seeking information and guidance in order to change.

An even more powerful indicator of their urgency is if they’re willing to travel. The farther they get from their house to look for help, the more money they’re spending to fix their problem. Not to mention the impact of travel itself: the affect on loved ones left behind, the logistics involved in packing, arranging for housesitting, child- or petcare, the disruption of their work.

When people are willing to travel, they are serious about change.

And those people are your ideal clients.

Your ideal clients are not the people who say, “I would go to that event if it were in my city or town. I just can’t fly across the country.”

Those people are stuck in their own reality. They do not have the urgency to change. And they are not your ideal clients.

It Starts with You
The only question you have to ask yourself is which stance do you take? Will you look for help beyond your hometown? Or, do you feel that travel is just too difficult, too expensive. If so, you are not influencing yourself.

Remember, part of influencing yourself is being willing to stretch and gain knowledge at the level where you want to be. If you’re trying to gain knowledge at your existing level, you’ll never advance.

And, as I’ve said repeatedly, if you can’t influence yourself, you don’t have a prayer of influencing others.

Where Are They?
The key to attracting your ideal clients with that urgency to change is to determine exactly where they are demonstrating the want and need for what you do, both online and offline.

Online: For instance, what online groups do they belong to? Who do they follow? On the Internet, you can learn all kinds of things about people just by looking at what they’re posting, what they like and don’t like, where they’re spending their money, etc.

Now, eventually, you want to build your business so that you have systems to draw people to you. And that’s something we can help you with. But if you don’t have those systems in place yet, you can certainly start with public information.

Offline: What conferences, conventions, and seminars do they attend? What self-help groups do they belong to? Where do they gather?

Sit down and start brainstorming and you should come up with a good-sized list.

If you don’t come up with a list of possibilities, you have to ask yourself another question:

Are you the one with the urgency problem?

I’ll pick it up here next time.

How do you know when the next step is in front of you, or if it's just the next shiny new thing that's trying to manipulate your time and energy?

If you don’t have a goal, set some time aside and get very clear about what you’d like the end result to be.

If you already know what the goal is, ask yourself if there is something that you’re resisting doing that’s keeping you from that goal.

Often times, if there’s a subconscious fear in taking action, something shiny will pop up to distract you.

You’ll need to be very honest with yourself about this, as your mind will create stories around why you’re resisting something.

Let me give you an example:

If your goal is to enroll more clients, and you KNOW your next step is to make sales calls, but instead you sign up for a class to learn how to build a website, you’re using the website class as a distraction.

And the insidious thing is that you will have yourself convinced that when you finish the class, you’ll magically have those new clients enrolled.

When you really want a clear gauge to help you make a decision, I always recommend that you turn to the FOUR QUESTIONS.

So let’s use the example above and run it through using the FOUR QUESTIONS.

1) Is this something I want to be, do or have? In the instance of the web class, yes.

2) Is being, doing or having this taking me closer to my goal? In this instance the answer would be no because it would be taking the person farther from it. They already know that the most direct way to enroll clients is to make sales calls.

3) Is being, doing or having this in alignment with Universal Law (more life to all)? Yes

4) Does being, doing or having this violate the rights of others (does it take away someone else’s right to choose)? No

The determining factor in using these questions is that you must answer yes to the first three questions, and no to the fourth.

Since the answer to the 2nd question was a no, this person would not choose to take the web class. Instead they would focus on working through their resistance to sales calls.

When experiencing indecision, using the four questions above, will help you see clearly which direction to take.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Dear David,

I’ve been in the coaching industry for about 5 years now, and I’m ready (and willing) to finally up-level both my ideal client and my price points. I feel I’m ready to work with a much more advanced business owner as I myself have become incredibly advanced.

Here’s my problem. I have a list full of beginners. How do I start to build a new list of my up-leveled client? Any down and dirty suggestions?

Thanks!

My first suggestion to you would be to create a new avatar.

Don’t get me wrong; you can still market your new programs to your list. There’s actually a very good chance that there are some ideal clients hiding in there just waiting for you to start speaking directly to them.

However, in order for you to identify new opportunities to get in front of this new audience (outside of your list), you must first get very clear in regards to what this new client wants, what they are struggling with, and how they think.

The fastest way to build a new client list is to physically speak in front of them. This means you must know what their priorities are and then locate where large groups of your new avatar gather.

For example, if your new client is a 6-figure business owner who really wants to build their business on-line, you’d be smart to look at upcoming conferences and seminars teaching that topic, and see if you can get a speaking spot.

This positions you very well and allows you to speak directly to your new market.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

From the time we are helpless newborns to the moment of our deaths, we need – and seek – help from other people.

In fact, one of the very first things we learn is how to determine if a person can help us or not, and, subconsciously, we never stop looking for that person who can help us advance.

If you understand that truth and position yourself as a person of influence who can help others, without even knowing why, prospects will be drawn to you.

So if you’re ready to become a magnet to your ideal clients, here are the two remaining keys to positioning.

1. Dress the Part

“When people walk into a room, without even thinking about it, they start judging the other people based upon what they observe.

If you’re dressed to impress at business or networking events, that first impression is likely to be that you are “different,” which, as I explained last time, is the first step to being seen as a person of influence.

Dressing the part affects you as well. You feel more confident and carry yourself more powerfully when your hair is done and, if you’re a woman and wear makeup, your makeup is professionally applied, and you have on great shoes. It’s the same for men.

Now, dressing the part doesn’t necessarily mean conforming to a corporate ideal. You have to be you.

Wear clothing that is appropriate to your niche or style, but that makes you stand out and brings out your best. Draw others’ eyes to you and be proud as they wonder, Who is that man or woman?

At Home Too.

You also want to dress the part while making sales calls from home. You may think that no one is going to see you, but you will feel the way that you’re dressed. As I’ve said, if you hope to influence others, you have to first influence yourself.

If you take the time and make the effort to dress well and then have that 10-minute conversation with yourself before you get on the line, you’ll likely be astounded by the difference in your results.

2. Bring an Assistant with You

Let’s say that you’re at a networking event and you look great. You’ve also taken my advice from the last article and polarized the conversation, and you have determined that the person you’re speaking to would be an ideal client.

After the prospect agrees to a follow-up phone conversation with you, the final key to positioning yourself is to have an assistant with you. Pass the prospect on to your assistant to put you in their calendar and vice versa, and free you to move on to the next person.

As your assistant handles the logistics and builds excitement about you and your work, the prospect will rightfully sense that everything is about to change.

Meanwhile, you are exactly where you want to be: perfectly positioned to influence that prospect to choose the life of his or her dreams.

Dear David,

I’m starting out as a new coach, how do you know what to include in a package like a 90-day course? I know how I want to help and serve people, I know their pains and pressures but because I am new to the coaching industry. I don’t know how to create the “substance” of the content to include each week to best serve my clients for 90 days. When you first started, how did you know what to include in your coaching packages?

Warmly, Sari

Whenever you consider creating a program or package, there are a few questions you can ask yourself that will help you create the “substance”. I’m including the questions below!

1) What does my client want to achieve within the 90-day framework?
(This is what you’re telling them they will “walk away with” at the end of the program.

2) What support do they need from me in order for them to fulfill that goal?
(This is where you decide if they can learn in a group or if they need one-on-one guidance from you.)

3) How much time and attention do they need to achieve their goal?
(This is where you determine how long the group or one-on-one calls will need to be, if you will allow them to email you with questions, and how much time you can allocate to this program.)

My rule of thumb is always to focus on what is needed from a logistic standpoint to really set your clients up for success.

Next cross-reference those answers with the amount of time you want to dedicate to the program.

This should give you a nice framework for the “substance” to include to set your clients up for success and not over extend yourself at the same time.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.