Category: David

Your goal during discovery sales conversations is to bring prospective clients to clarity about their situation, so that they can face it and feel the urgency to change.

You accomplish that by asking them four main questions.

Last time, I shared the first two: “What are you looking to accomplish?” and “What is the biggest problem in your business right now?”

Here are the other two questions:

Question 3
With the third question, you’re assessing their awareness while helping them get clear. You ask, “Why do you think you have that problem?”

Again, don’t argue with them or challenge their perception.

You’re not trying to show how wrong they are or how smart you are.

You want to draw the clarity out of them, which isn’t going to happen if you’re making them feel defensive.

You can tell them what’s wrong with their business until you’re blue in the face. But until they see it for themselves, there’s no sale.

So even if you think they’re wrong, listen to what they’re saying.

The Art of Listening
In order to listen, you have to be out of your own head.

If you have a clatter of mental noise, if you’re thinking, Is this person going to buy? or What do I say next? you’re only listening to yourself.

You want to listen to them, but even more than that, you want to really hear them. Remember, we listen with our ears, but we hear with our emotions.

If you can hear what your prospective client is saying with your own feelings, and then give that empathy back to them in the form of the fourth question, you will influence them every single time.

Question 4
When you ask the fourth question with empathy, your prospects will feel permission from you to be authentic, and to tell you the truth.

At the same time, you want to convey a tone of authority, so that they feel confident in you as well.
So energetically, you lean in, and with that compassionate yet authoritative tone, you ask:

“How badly do you want this to change?”

If you’re compassionate and they’re authentic, the question will elicit emotion. There may be tears. There may be anger. There may be excitement.

And you will know instantly if the person is ready to make the change. If they are ready to buy.

Don’t respond by, then, going into a lot of detail about your product or service. People are not buying based on what your product or service contains.

They’re buying the outcome that they finally feel is possible for them.

If you start going into the details, you’re going to destroy that urgency to change that you’ve been building over the entire conversation.

Like sticking a pin into a balloon, the urgency is gone, and you’ve lost the sale.

What you want to do is stay present with them and solidify the commitment. Begin the relationship that will enrich both of your lives.

Hi David!

I’m beginning to realize that I have a deep need for appreciation. I go out of my way for others to the point of sacrificing my own desires, and when I get no thanks or appreciation, I can feel the anger welling up inside me. I know this need is spilling over into my business. How do transform this and put a stop to needing others to appreciate me?

The problem is that no matter how much others tell us that we did a good job, deep down we don’t believe it.

When a person doesn’t get the appreciation they are looking for it can be extremely painful or even devastating. This causes them to feel resentful and that leads to anger.

A person who is really trying to overcome this in their life has to be aware of the cycle and all the places in their life where this shows up. They have to know how the cycle works.

I’m going to share an integration exercise with you that will help you overcome the need for appreciation if you really want to overcome it.

A) For every person who comes into your life, find one thing you can honestly appreciate about them in that moment.

B) Start journaling what you’re finding to appreciate in other people, and begin to see these qualities in yourself.

C) Start to take a look at how wonderful you really are as a human being and an individual.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Hi David!

I feel really stuck. I have LOTS of ideas for my business, and yet, I sit paralyzed because I can’t make a decision about what I should do first. I’m afraid I’m going to choose “WRONG”.
HELP!!!

So you must first DECIDE.

Choose ONE of your ideas. It doesn’t really matter which one, just choose one that inspires you the most.

Then take ACTION on that decision. Don’t worry about the results, don’t fret about what people will think, and don’t stop.

You see Spirit won’t give you your entire plan. You must take action on the first step before the 2nd step will be shown. If you never take action, you’ll never see the next opportunity.

If you should fall flat on your first idea, be grateful for what you’ve learned from it, and continue to look for the next opportunity. It WILL be there.

You will either win or you will learn, in which case, either outcome is a GIFT.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Hi David!

Thanks so much for the opportunity to ask you this question. My question is around fear. I would LOVE to control the fear that I feel. I believe it keeps me from my success. Do you have any suggestions pertaining to HOW I can control the fear I feel?

The definition of fear is: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Fear is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, joy, or anger. Because fear is an emotion, you can choose whether or not you’re going to allow yourself to be overcome by it.

Let me explain…

Typically entrepreneurs feel fear when they are faced with their own growth or when they know they must change. They feel this fear because their ego is programmed to view these opportunities for growth or change as a threat, and therefore they feel fear to keep from growing and being “at risk”.

The important thing to note in the definition is that it says the emotion is triggered whether the threat is real or IMAGINED.

Most of the time, unless your life is endangered, the fear that we feel is not real.

Here are a few truths that will help you put fear in its place so that you’re not controlled by it:

1) Spirit will never speak to you through fear.

2) When you begin to feel fear, CHOOSE to focus only on the solution or the positive in the situation, and the fear will subside.

3) Always remember that fear is a lie, so if you see yourself getting sucked into that dark place, remind yourself that it’s not real and ask yourself why you’re allowing it to control you. How is it serving you to be paralyzed by fear? You are the creator of your reality, thus the fear is created between your own ears.

4) The only way to neutralize the fear is to step through it. Fighting it or resisting it only gives it energy. For example: If you’re feeling fear about making a sales call, MAKE THE CALL and the fear will disappear.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

I absolutely love sales. It totally lifts my spirit, because it is the first step to change in a person’s life.

Without the sale, nothing happens.

The prospects just sit in their prison cells, never realizing that the life they want is attainable, if they’d just shift their perspective and reach outside their bars.

Fortunately, they have you.

Clarity Brings Urgency
When you’re successful during a discovery conversation with a prospective client, you’ve brought them to clarity about their situation, which, in turn, gives them the urgency to change.

Let me say that again, with clarity comes the urgency to change.

Part of the reason that people stay stuck is they’ve pushed their problem so far into the future that they can’t see it. One day, they’ll make enough money to take vacations. One day.

The problem is, “one day” will never come. Your prospects will stay stuck until they finally realize that there is only now.

If they want to increase their income, if they want the life of their dreams, now is the time to act.

To help guide them to that clarity, which, again, they have to realize for themselves, you want to ask them four simple questions. Here are the first two:

Question 1
The first question you ask during the discovery conversation with a prospect is some version of “What are you looking to accomplish?” It’s plain, simple and direct.

You do want to tailor that question to your specific business, product or service. For example, if you’re a financial planner, it makes sense to ask, “How much money do you want to make?”

Regardless of the wording you choose, after you ask the question, be quiet. Just listen, and they will tell you what you need to know about them.

Question 2
Next, you want to ask, “What is the biggest problem in your business (or life) right now?”

With this question, you’re finding out what they want and need, but, more important, they’re beginning to get clear about their problem.

After you ask the question, again, don’t say a word. Let them tell you what they think their problem is.

If you think that they’re incorrect about the nature of their problem, don’t tell them that or argue with them, because that does no good.

In fact, almost everyone’s answers to one or more of these questions will be wrong. That doesn’t matter.

What matters is that they’re starting to get clear in their minds that they have a problem, and they’re bringing that problem from some nebulous future into the present, where they can finally face it.

Look at it this way, if you have to tell them what their problem is, they haven’t accepted it yet in their mind.

And if they haven’t accepted it yet, if they’re saying, “I want to think about it” they still have unanswered questions. And, if that’s the case, there’s no way they’re moving forward.

In order to bring them to clarity and urgency and clinch the sale, you need to ask them two more questions. You’ll find those here next time.

Hi David!

I’ve been studying your teachings for some time now, but my wife has no interest in wealth mindset. We both have very different beliefs around money and it’s starting to create a wedge in our relationship. Do you have any suggestions on how to meet her halfway and maintain the integrity of our relationship?

If you and your wife have different beliefs around money, I recommend that you both start taking responsibility for yourselves.

Make your own money, have your own banking accounts, and split the joint bills and expenses.

If you want to save for a trip and she doesn’t, go without her, but be prepared for her to do the same.

So many couples struggle with money, especially if one partner makes more than the other. Sometimes it works great and other times it’s incredibly disempowering for the person who is not the breadwinner.

If you feel like your decisions are limited by your wife’s money mindset, you need to have a heart to heart conversation with her, and let her know that from now on, you’ll both be responsible for the bills, but that everything else will go into separate accounts.

This gives her the freedom to do what she wants with her income, and it gives you the freedom as well.

It’s against the laws to ask her to change, this way, you’ll both have the freedom to believe what you want about money and spend as save as you wish.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

You can’t tell people that you’re the right mentor for them. They’ll just get defensive and resist. You have to influence them so that they have that thought themselves. If the idea to work with you is their own, they’ll listen to it.

If you position yourself correctly to your ideal clients (Pillars 1-3), and then apply the 4th Pillar, this will happen automatically, and they will want to do business with you.

How do you apply the 4th Pillar?

You ask them questions during a discovery conversation that lead them to connect powerfully with their own truth.

The Discovery Conversation
During this conversation, two things need to take place simultaneously:

1. Control. You must control the conversation. This is essential for influence.

2. Discovery. You need to discover where they are in relationship to what they want and don’t want. Where are they in relationship to the problem?

You accomplish both of those goals by asking questions.

If You’re Telling, You’re Not Selling
Notice that I said you’re asking questions. You’re not telling them what to do or how they should be thinking about their problem or even what their problem is.

The old adage: “If you’re telling, you’re not selling” is 100% accurate. There are very few times during a sales conversation when you tell the prospects anything.

The first is in the beginning when you set up the parameters of the conversation.

And the second is at the end, when you tell them that you need their credit card and a signed contract.

Now, a couple of times you may need to move the conversation in another direction. You have to give it a little jolt because it got off course.

Why Are Questions so Important?
When you tell people what’s wrong with them or what they need, they get defensive, like I said. They go into their stories, and try to escape.

That’s when you’ll start to hear “objections,” such as they can’t afford it or it’s not the right time or they need to think about it.

The real issue is that they’re not clear yet. They likely don’t understand what their actual problem is, and they definitely can’t see its solution.

But no amount of you telling them what that problem is will bring them to clarity.

Asking them questions, however, can.

When you ask questions, you’re in your power, and you also put them in theirs.

Your questions uplift them. They lift up in their mind a different way of thinking about their problem, and they begin to connect the dots.

If you’ve followed the 4th Pillar, as I’m laying it out, they can finally see the true nature of their problem as well as its solution.

So what exactly do you ask them?

I’ll share those four questions with you next time.

Hi David!

I have seen over and over again, coaches marketing “masterminds.” Can you explain the concept of a mastermind vs. a coaching program? I’m a bit confused as to the difference.

Let me explain the difference.

The definition of a mastermind that I prefer is found in Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. I strongly encourage you to read Chapter 10: Power of The Mastermind: The Driving Force.

He defines a mastermind as a “coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”

He breaks a powerful mastermind into 2 characteristics:

1) The first characteristic is economic. Hill explains that “economic advantages may be created by people who surround themselves with the advice, counsel, and personal cooperation of a group of people who are willing to lend them whole hearted aid in a spirit of perfect harmony.” He goes on to state that, “this form of cooperative alliance has been the basis of nearly every great fortune.”

2) The second characteristic is based on the premise that “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible and intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”

The biggest difference between a coaching program that calls itself a mastermind vs. a true mastermind is that in a coaching program, generally people gather to learn from or get support from one “expert.” In a true mastermind, all participants are “equal” and have a goal of helping each other, knowing that in return, they will also be helped.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Mastering the art of influence can enable you to close sales at a ratio of 80-100% in 15 minutes ~ provided you are talking to your ideal client.

Remember, your ideal client is not just a personification of your target market. These are people who already want or need your product or service, and they’re demonstrating an urgency to change by actively seeking a solution.

So the key to attracting your ideal client, as I said last time, is to determine exactly where they are demonstrating the need for what you do, both on- and offline.

Easy, right?

It actually is. And if you did the exercise in the last article, you should have a long list.

Ignorance or Fear
If you don’t have a long list and you’re not finding your ideal clients, there are really only two reasons. The first is ignorance: you don’t know how to find them. We solved that problem in the last article.

The other reason is fear, which can mask as ignorance. So, if you’re not finding your ideal clients, you have to ask yourself if you’re afraid to do so.

Listen, if that’s true for you, I get it. I’ve been there, and everybody I’ve worked with has been there as well.

All you have to do is make a little shift in your mind, and my job is to help you do that. If you want help with this, just schedule an appointment with my team.

Easy to Find
Because the truth is, your ideal clients are easy to find ~ especially in the Internet age.

When I first started, all I had was a magazine with a list of 100 top sellers. That’s it. A list of names and the states they lived in. I didn’t even know what cities they were in.

But I had the urgency to push past my own fear, so I called information for all the phone numbers that went with those names. And then I called everyone in that state with that name until I found the right person.

You can imagine, for a common name like Smith or Jones, that could take 50 phone calls. I would literally ask, “Are you the John Smith that was just listed in such and such magazine?” If they said no, I kept going until I found the right person.
When I finally reached that person, you know what I said? “I just called 50 John Smiths to find you. That’s how important this call is.”

With just that one list, I filled an entire seminar.

If I can do that, you can find your ideal clients and fill your workshops and classes or work with them one on one.

So what are you waiting for?

If you haven’t already done so, brainstorm about where your ideal clients are meeting on- and offline, and come up with your list. And then meet me back here for Pillar 4.

Hi David!

I’m plagued by my fear of disappointing my clients. This is resulting in me over-delivering, and basically being controlled by my clients every whim and demand. Do you have any suggestion on how I can move past this?

Thanks!!

The answer is both simple and a journey in itself.

You must learn to love yourself.

The reason you’re afraid of disappointing someone is because you are relying on them to make you feel ok or worthy or good enough or loved (you pick).

At some point in your life you picked up the belief that you had to be something, do something or act a certain way to be loved. If you disappointed someone, either there were dangerous consequences, or they withheld love.

Here’s an example to help you see what I mean:

A child struggles in school. Even though they are giving it their best, they bring home an F on their report card. The child’s parents are disappointed, and instead of helping the child work to figure out why they are struggling, they get upset, angry or even punish the child.

The message is clear to the child that they are not good enough. So they work harder at doing whatever they can to gain the acceptance of their parents, because to them acceptance now equals love.

Fast forward to your situation.

You don’t want to do anything to upset your client because it will cause you to feel that same pain you felt as a child, and so you’re willing to put up with anything or do anything to avoid feeling that way again.

The only way to stop feeling this way is to love yourself and to stop seeking love and acceptance from your clients.

Unconditionally.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.