Why the “fear of success” is a lie

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Bryan S.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

Can you please tell me how to get over the fear of success? I believe it’s what’s continually stopping me from hitting my goals!

Thank you so much!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Bryan and thanks for your question!

The truth is that no one is actually afraid of success.

That’s a false lie created by our ego.

If you were afraid of success, you’d never put your pants on the in the morning, because even putting your pants on is a success.

In reality what people ARE afraid of is:

1) The fear of what they believe they will have to sacrifice to be successful. This is mainly true in regard to relationships.

2) The fear of what people will think if they were successful.

3) The fear of what people will think if they fail.

These are the top 3, but of course there are many other fears that keep us bound in chains and constantly striving for success yet never achieving it.

So you are correct, you are sabotaging your success.

Universal truth states that we create everything; all the good and bad, all the successes and all the failures.

So you need to get very clear on how never achieving the success you want keeps you safe.

I know you’re thinking, “No David, not having the success keeps me feeling unsafe, why would I not want success?”

And I would answer that you have to consider what fear is renting space in your brain, because if you wanted that success as much as you wanted air to breath, you would have it.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

When toxic relationships threaten your business growth

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Rebecca.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I have a 23 year-old daughter who is ruining her life. She doesn’t take responsibility for any of her actions, and she seems dedicated to distracting me from growing my business. I’ve heard you teach about unhealthy attachments, but she’s my daughter…

Any suggestions?

Neagle Code Answer

This is one of those questions for which there is no magic fix.

There are a couple of things here that you need to really think about.

1. You are 100% responsible for everything in your own life.

2. Your daughter is an adult so you are no longer responsible FOR her.

3. It is not your job to fix her. She is the only one who can change herself, and that’s only if she wishes to change.

That means that you have to decide that you are no longer going to tolerate toxic relationships in your life.

That doesn’t mean that you no longer love her.

In fact, the solution to your problem is to love her for who she is without judgment, and limit the time you spend with her by setting boundaries around what is acceptable in your life and what is not.

We all need to learn about cause and effect, and we are all responsible for our own choices and lives.

One of the best gifts we can give our children is to allow them to have their own experiences and carve their own way, even if we may not agree with them.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

[5 Pillars of Influence Article Series] Article #15 ~ Your Last Chance to Put the 5 Pillars of Influence to Work


If you’ve been following this series, you now know how to close 80-100% of your ideal prospects in 15 minutes.

Knowledge is vital, but to actually start closing those sales, you have to apply what you’ve learned.

To inspire you to do that, here are all five of the pillars again:

Pillar 1: Become Your Own Pillar of Influence

In the context of sales, influence is the art of equating in the mind of your ideal clients the fact that you have the solution they need.

Influence, not pressure, is your best sales tool, because your ideal prospects already want or need your product or service. They may not realize that yet, however, because they’re in a prison of their own situation.

Your job is to bridge the gap between that prison and their solution. But in order to coax someone out of his or her prison, you first have to coax yourself out of yours.

In other words, in order to harness the power of influence, you must first influence yourself. Here are three ways to do that:

1. Get real.
Be honest about any ideological prisons that you’re in. For instance, are you telling yourself what you can’t afford? Or why your clients won’t pay high fees?

Negative beliefs directly impact your bottom line, repel those high-paying clients, and blind you to opportunities.

2. Talk to yourself.
Every sales conversation needs to begin with a conversation with yourself to be sure that you are coming from a place of “influence energy.”

Before every sales call, spend 10 minutes, asking yourself questions like these:

“What is the desired outcome of this call?”
“What energy state do I need to be in, in order to be influential?”
“How will I help this person get out of his/her prison?”
“How am I going to influence him/her?”

3. Gain knowledge at the level that you want to be, not where you are.
Be willing to stretch your mind, invest in trainings, and travel to events. If you won’t invest in trainings for yourself, how can you expect your clients to invest in yours?

Pillar 2: Put Yourself in the Position to Influence

If you want to be able to turn your prospects’ objections into commitments, you have to put yourself into the correct position to influence them. Here are four ways to do that:

It will keep them going when they falter, and sustain them during those dark moments when they confront what they need to confront in order to change.

1. Make it inbound.
Create situations where your prospects come to you. This positions you as an expert who is in demand.

For instance, have your prospects call you for strategy sessions versus you calling them. Speak at conferences, where a host will introduce you as an expert who has helped hundreds of people in the past. After your talk, your ideal prospects should flock to you.

2. Dress the part.
To be seen as a person of influence, dress to impress at business or networking events. Wear clothing that is appropriate to your niche or style, but that makes you stand out and brings out your best.

3. Polarize the conversation.
Rather than responding to introductory questions, ask your own questions to quickly determine if the person you’re talking to is your ideal client or not.

For instance, when someone asks me what I do, instead of answering, I say, “Let me ask you a question. If your annual income suddenly became your monthly income, what in your life would change?”

For more details about how to polarize conversations, or to read any of the other articles in this series, please see my blog.

4. Bring an assistant with you.
Having an assistant with you at networking events positions you as a high-level expert, while also freeing you to move on to the next person, as your assistant puts the prospect into your calendar and builds excitement about your work.

Pillar 3: Attract Your Ideal Client

Your ideal client is someone who already wants or needs your product or service, and is demonstrating an urgency to change by actively seeking a solution.

They’re buying books and going to conferences, seminars, and workshops. Even better is if they’re willing to travel. When people are willing to deal with the inconvenience and expense of traveling to events, they are serious about change.

The key to attracting your ideal clients is to determine exactly where they are demonstrating the want and need for what you do, both online and offline, and go there.

For instance, what online groups do they belong to? Who do they follow? What seminars do they attend? Where do they gather?

Pillar 4: Ask Questions During a Discovery Conversation

You can’t tell your prospects that you’re the right mentor for them. They’ll just get defensive and resist. You have to influence them so that they have that thought themselves.

As you ask your prospects the four questions of the discovery conversation, and lead them to connect powerfully with their own truth, this should happen automatically.

Those four questions are:

Question 1: “What are you looking to accomplish?”

Tailor that question to your specific business, product or service, and then listen to their response. They will tell you what you need to know.

Question 2: “What is the biggest problem in your business (or life) right now?”

With this question, you’re finding out what they want and need, but, more important, they’re beginning to get clear about their problem. They’re also bringing it from some nebulous future into the present, where they can finally face it and see their solution.

Question 3: “Why do you think you have that problem?”

If their answer to this or any of these questions is incorrect, don’t tell them that or argue with them. You’re not going to draw clarity out of them if they feel defensive.

You want to listen, but more than that, you want to really hear them.

If you can hear what they’re saying with your own feelings, and then express that empathy while asking the fourth question, you will influence them every time.

Question 4: “How badly do you want this to change?”

If you’ve asked this question with empathy, while also conveying a tone of authority, your prospects should feel permission to be authentic and tell you the truth.

This will likely elicit emotion, which means that they’re committing to you emotionally.

With their laughter or tears, they’re asking you for a directive as to what to do.

Secure the Sale and Create Momentum.
What you do then is solidify the commitment. While staying emotionally connected to them, say, “Let’s get this going,” and ask for their credit card number, or tell them you’ll be turning them over to your assistant, who will get the number and get them started.

In either case, before you get off the phone, create momentum by giving your new clients an immediate taste of the transformation that’s to come, such as by assigning them an exercise to complete.

And then, apply the last pillar.

Pillar 5: Transference of Belief

The sale is your new clients’ first step toward finally having the life of their dreams.

Believe in their greatness and be excited for them, so that they will be excited as well.

Your belief in their greatness will help keep their own doubt at bay and will sustain them during dark moments.

And while you hold the vision of what’s possible for them, you begin to see that much more is possible for you too.

As you apply these 5 Pillars, and work with your new clients, you step beyond prison bars you didn’t even know were there, and begin to walk your own path of greatness as well.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

Free yourself from the freebie mentality

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Marianne V.

Neagle Code Question

Dearest David,

I think I may need a bop on the head. I am so used to over servicing my clients and “gifting” my acquaintances and friends with my services, that I’m bleeding myself dry. I know I need to reverse this pattern but I’m just not sure how. Any suggestions on what I need to do to stop this and charge ANYONE what I’m worth?

Thank You!

Neagle Code Answer

Great question! I addressed a similar question on my blog in 2013…here was my response:

Charging what you’re worth is simply a decision.

And the truth is, if you don’t find enough value in what you have to offer to charge for it, others won’t see the value either.

So you need to make the decision that no matter what, you will not give your advice, services or insight away for free.

If someone asks you for help, even if they are a friend, say to them, “I’d love to help. Let’s set up a time to talk about your goals and aspirations so that I can clearly recommend next steps for you.”

On that call, clearly re-state the purpose of the call, make sure you take control by asking questions, and make recommendations of which program or service will get them to their goals the quickest.:

From now on, you will set your prices based on your financial goals rather than your emotions. And you will never make an offer to someone that is not in line with your financial goals.

You have to hold yourself to these agreements even if you feel it threatens your relationship with friends or clients.

By doing this you will begin to see that people WILL pay you what you believe you are worth.:

You’re not reversing a subconscious pattern; you’re creating a new one.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Why new clients back out and how to save the sale

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

After studying your sales strategy, I can say that I can now make a fair number of sales. HOWEVER, the problem I’m experiencing now is that I can’t seem to KEEP the sale! In the past month four people have contacted me 3-4 days after I’ve sold them, and told me that they needed to back out.

What am I doing wrong???

Thanks so much!!

Neagle Code Answer

Great question.

If you’re getting people who are changing their mind after an initial sale, it means that you may be missing a key component in your sales conversation.

One of the most overlooked parts of a sales conversation actually happens AFTER the sale has been made.

Let me explain.

Once the sale has been made and you have received a deposit, it is crucial for you to continue the conversation by telling them what to expect.

Example:

“You know, you’ve just made a big decision to invest in yourself and grow. And we know that anytime your ego feels threatened you will create circumstances in your life to get you to change your mind or to stop moving forward. So let me ask you something. What’s going to cause you to change your mind?

This accomplishes two things. It lets them know what to expect so if they start to create chaos, they can quickly identify it for what it really is. And second, if they decide to change their mind, you can resell them using their own words.

Example:

“When we spoke a couple of days ago, you said that overwhelm can derail you. Now you’re telling me that you are overwhelmed and can’t move forward. Isn’t this interesting? Your ego is paying a mind trick on you, so let’s go back to the truth…. (and then you re-engage them in the resale conversation).

If you end your conversations using this technique, you’ll find that your new clients will feel well informed and will be more likely to stick with their initial commitment.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

[5 Pillars of Influence Article Series] Article #14 ~ Transference of Belief


The 5th Pillar of Influence is short but profound: believe in the greatness of your new clients, so that they can believe in it too.

If you have reached this final Pillar of Influence, you have just secured a sale.

Congratulations! You have much to celebrate.

You accomplished this sale by carefully applying the first four pillars, which were:

Pillar 1: Become your own power of influence so that you can influence others

Pillar 2: Put yourself into the position to influence

Pillar 3: Attract your ideal client

Pillar 4: Ask questions during a discovery conversation

Believe in Them
The sale is your new clients’ first victory. It is their first step toward the change that they need to make in order to have the life of their dreams.

You want to be excited that they have stepped beyond the bars of their prison to begin this process of transformation.

You want to be excited about it, so that they will be excited as well.

Your Belief Sustains Them
If you’re nervous, they will be nervous too, which will cause doubt to fester in their mind.

Doubt will stop their transformation in its tracks, and they’ll probably go into buyer’s remorse.
Your belief in their greatness is a cloak that will help keep their doubt at bay.

It will keep them going when they falter, and sustain them during those dark moments when they confront what they need to confront in order to change.

They Have Chosen You
I’m sure you know from personal experience that change is not easy, and we all need help.

From the time we are born ~ utterly dependent upon our caregivers for survival ~ we learn how to determine if a person can help us or not.

Your new clients see in you the hope for their new life. They have chosen you as the person to guide them.

Isn’t that an honor and a privilege to take with utmost seriousness?

And isn’t that why you’re in business? To create positive outcomes in people’s lives?

Of course it is.

Pillar 5 Cuts Both Ways
Well, here’s the other wonderful thing about Pillar 5. It goes both ways.

While you are holding the vision of their greatness and what’s possible for them, you begin to glimpse your own greatness as well.

You begin to see that much more is possible for you than you realized.

And as you take this journey of change with your new clients that these 5 Pillars have allowed you to take, you are transformed.

You step beyond prison bars that you may never have known were there, and walk your own path of greatness as well.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

Got a challenge? Email me for help!

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Nicole.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I have been plagued by the same challenge for several months now…not enough clients. It’s to the point where I need to start cutting back on my spending which feels constricting and based in lack. The biggest problem: I can’t figure out how to overcome this challenge and it is SO frustrating…what is going on?

Thanks so much!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Nicole and thanks for your question.

First let’s look at what challenges in our life and business REALLY are…

1) They are necessary for growth.
2) They hold hidden lessons that you need to learn about yourself.
3) They are neither good or bad…they just “are”.

Webster’s Dictionary defines a challenge as: a stimulating task or problem.

But here’s what I want you to see:

You are experiencing this challenge because there is something that you need to learn about yourself, and the challenge keeps recurring because you are resisting learning what the challenge itself is trying to get you to see.

Each challenge we are faced with has a hidden message…a hidden lesson that we need to learn in order to become the person we need to become to fulfill our dreams.

If you find yourself with the same challenge over and over, you need to take a deep look into what you may be resisting hearing, seeing, doing or being, that’s keeping that challenge in your life.

In this instance, you may be resisting something within your sales conversation.

You may be resisting reaching out to prospects.

You may be resisting being seen..

The list could go on.

Look deep into your challenge to identify what you may be resisting and reach out for help if you still can’t identify the resistance from someone who is a qualified coach.

If you are reading this, chances are you are faced with a challenge that you are seeking to solve. Post your challenge below and I’ll do my best to explain what that challenge may be trying to tell you.

Or if you prefer to remain anonymous, simply send an email containing your challenge to [email protected] and I’ll respond.

Let’s overcome these challenges together and make miracles happen!

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

[5 Pillars of Influence Article Series] Article #13 ~ Secure Their Commitment and Create Momentum


In this series, I’ve been showing you how to close sales in 15-20 minutes. That’s how long it should take you to ask the four main questions of the discovery conversation, which I shared with you last time.

If you asked the fourth question, “How badly do you want your situation to change,” with a compassionate authority that encourages your prospects to be authentic, they’re likely to have an emotional reaction.

They may be in tears. They may be excited. Or somewhere in between. But however they respond, by that response, you will know whether or not they’re in.

Secure the Sale
Let’s say they are going to buy. That’s the outcome I’m fully expecting you to experience as you apply these five pillars.

With their authenticity, with their laughter or tears, they’re saying to you, “Yes! This is what I want. I’m committing to you emotionally. Give me a directive as to what to do.”

In a moment, I’ll demonstrate the wording to use, but what you need to do at this point is secure their commitment. Ask them for their credit card number.

Ideally, you can turn the call over to an assistant, who can get the number, give the person a contract, and get him or her on your calendar.

But whether or not you’re the one taking their details, it’s crucial that after you secure their commitment and before you get off the phone with them, you take the next step of creating momentum.

Create Momentum
Creating momentum means that you give them something to do that gives them an immediate taste of the transformation that’s to come.

If you don’t create momentum for your clients right away, if they have to wait weeks before your event or program begins, they’re very likely to go into buyer’s remorse and start wondering if they’ve made the right decision.

So give them a step of their solution immediately, perhaps an exercise to do, and at the end of the call, briefly describe the powerful outcome the client should expect.

Commitment + Momentum = Powerful Outcomes for All

For instance, I might say:
“That’s great, Helen. Give me a credit card, and let’s get this going. I’m so excited for you right now that you’ve made this decision. Your life is going to be so different over the next year that you’re not going to believe it.

“I’m going to pass you on to Liz, now, who is going to get every call for the year set up for you and give you the first exercise I want you to do. So we’ll be set up for our very first call, and I’ll talk to you in a couple of days. Sound great? Perfect.”

That’s it.

Don’t go fishing for doubt by asking them if they have any questions. Any questions they have can be dealt with after the call.

Leave them on that high note of feeling that they’ve gotten what they wanted.

Let them relish in their commitment and the beginning of the powerful momentum that will take them where they’ve been wanting to go for a very long time.

David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.

Hiring advice to grow a successful team

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Malcolm.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

The good news about me is that I’m really ready to grow my team. The bad news is that I don’t have much experience hiring, and the hires I’ve made in the past…well…let’s just say they haven’t been the best hires. Do you have any guidelines on hiring or advice you could share with me as I grow my team?

Thanks much!

Neagle Code Answer

Congrats on your decision to grow and thanks for the great question!

When doing ANY hiring, you always need to first start with yourself.

Are you the right person to do the hiring? Be honest.

Do you have a poor track record of turn over within your business?

Businesses lose money every time they have to fire and hire, so at times, it’s often less time consuming and more cost effective to turn to a professional to assist you in hiring.

Most people don’t even realize this is an option.

An outside hiring service is skilled at not only knowing what questions to ask you to make sure you attract qualified people, but also what questions to ask the potential employee.

They can be more objective and know how to “read between the lines” in an interview so that only qualified people who will match your culture make the cut.

If you feel like you are the person to do the hiring, sit down and make a list of all the qualities and skills you’re looking for in the “right” person.

Be specific. When hiring you want to be able to clearly explain both duties and expectations.

I once had the honor of having my friend Tony Hsieh of Zappos.com speak from my stage and he always encourages people to hire slow and fire fast.

I couldn’t agree more.

If you find that you are still having difficulty finding the right person to fill a role in your company, you may need to take a long hard look at why you are attracting the situation.

Are you keeping yourself the bottleneck in your company so you feel important?

Do you have issues with trusting someone else to do a job that you know you can do well?

Remember, everything starts with you, so the more clear and honest you can be with yourself and others, the easier that position will be to fill.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

4 tips for better boundaries in life and business

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Stefany B.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I feel like my business is swallowing me up, and it’s to the point now that I can’t see a difference between my personal life and my business life. Even my friendships and relationships are steeped in my business to the point where I feel like I can’t have a genuine conversation without someone in my life asking for coaching or business tips. I know I need to untangle this, but am unsure of the steps.

Thanks!

Neagle Code Answer

Hi Stefany, and thanks for this question.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries.

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. Use your calendar and stick to it!

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like travel, join a travel club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite destination, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversations.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

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PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.