What if your life depended on it?
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
I am a business owner and I have not been making the calls I know very well how to do, and I know I should be making. How do you approach this conversation, and really help people get back to life? I have basically stopped making sales prospecting calls completely. The income is now way below my needs. I am stuck. How would you suggest I get back to being really productive again quickly and properly? I feel so dumb for allowing this to happen. I have had many big wins, some pretty high highs, but this has been worst decade of my life. Wondering if you have a thought you can share.
Hi and thanks for your question.
The problem is not with your unwillingness to make sales calls. The problem lies with your sense of urgency to make those calls.
Let me explain.
Right now, it's serving you to not pick up the phone and do what you need to do.
Be honest, how does it benefit you to be in the situation you are in?
At first your conscious mind will tell you that I'm crazy, and of course it's not benefitting you to be “stuck”. But take some time and really think about what would happen, both good and bad, if you were to start picking up that phone and doing what you know you need to do.
You are creating this, and you are creating it because somewhere in your subconscious, you WANT to be stuck.
Whenever you doubt that, ask yourself this question, “If my child's life depended on me picking up the phone and making a sale, would I do it?”
If your answer is yes, then you know that you don't want your success bad enough to be willing to do what it takes.
You asked how would I suggest that you get back to being productive again.
I would suggest that you make a decision about what you want. The decision always comes first.
And I have a feeling that there is a decision in your life that you are resisting making and once you make that decision, your sense of urgency will increase and you'll pick up the phone and make the calls that are necessary for your success.
PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.
PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.
I read your emails and blog very often, and I enjoy your post. I was wondering about our feeling stuck and what your blog says here to the reasons why we stay stuck. When you say that we want to be stuck, and that want is in our subconscious, would you say that it comes from unbelief in our ability to achieve our goal? Or maybe we feel it is too difficult and we want to avoid it?
There is something inside of your belief system that is holding you back Amy. You are resisting making an important decision and only you knows what that is. Sit with that and see what comes up.
Thank you for the question and the answer. Both were perfectly asked and answered at a time in my life that could not have better timed.
Thanks Susan. Timing is everything, and it’s always impeccable.
Picking up the phone feels to be hard until I do it. It truly does come down to my “why” for not doing it… Incredible food for thought. Asking myself the questions now! Thank you David.
It gets a great deal of people Suzi, and usually has to do with a fear of rejection. What are you afraid of? Perhaps it is what people will think. Am I good enough? You just have to realize that this is all false and break through it.
I love your answer to this question. Until yesterday I had not made one sales call. I finally made the decision to pick up the phone and just do it. I am happy to report that I sold a 3 month coaching package on my first call and almost sold a 6 month package on my second call! (I’ll be following up with her on Monday.) Now I can’t wait to make more calls – it was exciting and the experience reignited my passion for how I can really help people. Thanks for all of you guidance and compassion – you’re advice is awesome!
Great work Lisa! Continue riding that momentum and bring the same energy to those calls as you are bringing to this post. I appreciate you sharing here.
I’m a female immigrant from Russia. I relocated to start a great family that I didn’t have growing up. My husband turned out to be not where he said he was financially. I abandoned myself completely trying to make my dream of family come true. I was a rising pop star in my home country with bachelors in economics. I felt I was becoming somebody but all that was striped away leaving my identity BARE & NAKED when I left home. I got in real estate out of fear in a new country. Even so I looked confident on a stage before, I am an introvert. I hate making calls. I feel EXPOSED, JUDGED & REGECTED. We rent a tiny condo in a big wealthy city. I don’t fit an image of a realtor here. I don’t drive a luxury car. I don’t carry a Hermes bag. I’m not adorned with noble jewels.
Ladies from my office that started at the same time as I had all these things given to them by spouses PLUS referrals to work with. It drives me crazy when my husband says that might be the city is just too competitive for me. Being in this business makes me more and more ISECURE. I just want to HIDE away.
David, you said a person must make a decision. What if a person made many wrong decisions and developed a FEAR of making another wrong decision???
I’m not attached to past identity. What can I do from where I am today to get where I want to be??? I want to find and fulfill my purpose while being completely financially secure (financial fears are paralyzing for me and shot down everything in me).
I’m almost 38 y.o. I don’t want to settle for the lifestyle I have today.
Am I too old to want it all???
I’m not a negative person but a cautious one. I am someone who got burned, healing her wounds and getting ready for a great change. Thank you, David.
Beau, first off you need to stop being a victim and begin to take your power back. You created this experience, whether you are choosing to see that or not. No one is to blame, although you seem hell bent on staying in that place of finger pointing. You made a decision to leave your previous situation for a reason, and you cannot change that now. Beginning today you have to make decisions based on where you want to be, not from where you are. And to answer the most important question in this exchange, age has absolutely nothing to do with what you are able to achieve. Remember, you chose to get ‘burned’ as you put it. Take full responsibility and see what comes from that feeling. There is strong resentment there, and you need to ask yourself how it is serving you. In that you will find your next step. I would suggest immediately seeing the gifts in this and embrace your exposed, judged, and rejected self.
I’m confused on your “Whenever you doubt that, ask yourself this question, “If my child’s life depended on me picking up the phone and making a sale, would I do it?”
If your answer is yes, then you know that you don’t want your success bad enough to be willing to do what it takes.”
Shouldn’t the answer be no? I wouldn’t think you’d be advocating “success” over a child’s life. It seems like that would be a higher motivation for you to pick up the phone and start making calls. Since I don’t have a child, am stuck much like the question writer above, I guess I’m missing the point. Would you be kind enough to clarify it?
Thanks for the question Sharon, and let me clarify. If someone had a gun to your child’s head and demanded money in order to save him/her, you would do everything within your power to make sure they got it. This does not advocate success over your child’s life, but what it does is prove the point that you would not stop until the job was done. It is this same mentality is what keeps people off the phones asking for the sale of their own products and services. We all have someone in our life we hold dear to our heart, insert them into this scenario if you wish. The overall point being, how bad do you want it?
David, I am very grateful for your reply.
I printed and then read and reread it many times.
I am not bright/wise as you can see from my choices. I question myself a lot.
Yes, all current experiences are result of my past choices.
Growing up I felt unlovable and unworthy due to parental abandonment and neglect. As a young lady I settled for what I thought I could get rather than reaching for what I want (after rising my self-esteem first). I was not aware of these things at the time. I can beat my young self with a stick or forgive her…
Am I using resentment/blame to avoid taking responsibility for my actions and to extend familiar victimhood? Is it serving me in unproductive, self-degrading, and sick but so familiar way? Wow, I’m dysfunctional, confused, self-distracting person.
Am I flawed beyond repair? How to CHANGE?
David, what are the gifts? I see I got too comfortable bathing in the “pile of poop” I created. It seems impossible to embrace oneself being in such place.
You need to take responsibility for all that you have created Beau, and begin by looking for the light in the situation. God did not put you here to be a victim. You have the power to heal this forever, but you have to be willing to take the necessary steps in order to do so. Only you knows what the gifts are because you experienced this first hand. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and start today embracing your past and make plans to grow into your limitless future.
I’m a new business owner, and I often see where you and others talk about making phone calls? If I don’t have prospects yet, who do I call?
Have you done any networking Andrea in your area and figured out who your target market is? Every town is full of people looking for the exact services you offer, its just a matter of reaching out. The library, the grocery store…believe me, they are out there. Once your list begins to gain momentum then you will be able to call more often. Congrats on your new business and thanks for the post.