Does fear steal your joy?
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Jenny Shain. You can learn more on the web at http://redeemingyourdreams.com/
Is it possible to live without fear or reduce it drastically so that you face challenges with happiness & without anxiety?
Hi and thanks for the question.
The definition of fear is: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Fear is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, joy, or anger. Because fear is an emotion, you can choose whether or not you're going to allow yourself to be overcome by it.
Let me explain…
Typically entrepreneurs feel fear when they are faced with their own growth or when they know they must change. They feel this fear because their ego is programmed to view these opportunities for growth or change as a threat, and therefore you feel fear to keep you from growing and being “at risk”.
The important thing to note in the definition is that it says the emotion is triggered whether the threat is real or IMAGINED.
Most of the time the fear that we feel is not real.
Now don't get me wrong, if someone is dangling you off of the Empire State Building by your ankles, the fear that you're feeling is VERY real. But the fear you're referring to in your question above is the fear of making a mistake, the fear of what others will think, the fear of not being able to pay your bills, or the fear of failing.
This is the kind of fear that is a LIE.
Here are a few truths that will help you put fear in its place so that you're not controlled by it.
1) Spirit will never speak to you through fear.
2) When you begin to feel fear, CHOOSE to focus only on the solution or the positive in the situation, and the fear will subside.
3) Always remember that fear is a lie, so if you see yourself getting sucked into that dark place, remind yourself that it's not real and ask yourself why you're allowing it to control you. How is it serving you to be paralyzed by fear? You are the creator of your reality, thus the fear is created between your own ears.
4) The only way to neutralize the fear is to step through it. Fighting it or resisting it only gives it energy. For example: If you're feeling fear about making a sales call, MAKE THE CALL and the fear will disappear.
As you continue to change, adapt and grow, you'll become more skilled at recognizing fear for what it really is, and this will allow you to get more comfortable being uncomfortable.
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David, I thank you for yet anther offering of your incredible wisdom. Your point #1 reminds me of the scripture “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind.” I had been stuck in fear and chaos, feeling like the experience you describe after going through the dam, but before you got hold of the tree. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) has become my “tree branch” to hold on to and my path to recovery and restoration. There’s lots of free information about it on the web. It has helped me to reduce fear, doubt and worry in my life, so that I can proceed with confidence toward my goals. I love it so much, I’ve become a practitioner so I can help others overcome and move forward. If anyone is interested in more information or a test drive, they can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please put David’s blog in the subject line. God bless, Toni Hall
You are very welcome Toni. Thanks for sharing your story with us and I appreciate you being so open with how your have been able to move forward. Best of luck and do keep us posted on what becomes of your journey.
A very important question that almost every entrepreneur, can relate to. I treat fear as learning experience, teaches us what not to do, brings us closer to Higher Power or Infinite Intelligence. Yes, I agree with you in that we must choose to focus on the solution. However, fear is an negative emotion and when we have negative emotion, it is challenging for our logical brain to focus on solution.
1. Emotion Freedom Technique
2. deep breathing,
3. writing down all the things that fear may lead us to and expressing gratitude for everything we have, can help in transforming negative emotion to positive-feel good type of emotion.
Thanks for the comment Lalitha. Using fear as a teaching tool still acknowledges that it is real. Fear is something we create to stop our progress. The techniques you mention are acceptable means to “control” our perception of the fear, but really getting to the heart of the feeling when it crops up makes all the difference. Drill down and find the exact root of the issue, that is where the breakthrough lies.
Great answer David! …There can be a ‘real danger’ in life – which creates stress (this should happen as it gives us energy to fight) and there can also be an ‘imagined danger’. The problem is that people spend most of the time stressed and in anxiety by the imagined one…and that is a lie as it is not real.Thanks a lot!:)
Thanks for the comment Solvita. It certainly is not real and we just need to convince the masses of such.
[…] David Neagle says, “Fear is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness, joy, or anger. Because fear is an emotion, you can choose whether or not you’re going to allow yourself to be overcome by it.” He then explains that when you are faced with your own growth or when you know you must change, you feel fear. You feel this fear because your ego is programmed to view these opportunities for growth or change as a threat, and therefore you feel fear to keep you from growing and being “at risk.” Most of the time, the fear we feel is not real. The fear of what others will think, the fear of making a mistake or the fear of failing: this kind of fear is a lie. […]