This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Steven.
I have been struggling for some time to replace the limiting beliefs that were holding me in an endless loop. I meditated on it and repeated affirmations. I made new contacts with myself and people whom I know have the knowledge to help me to move into the world that I have been desiring. My question is, how can I help my wife to move with me instead of against me in this effort? I love her and don't want to leave her and our family, however I feel that every time I make headway in the direction of my aspirations, she keeps me from making that final leap of faith to actually start accumulating wealth, and we fall back into the debt habits and I have to start all over. Help me help her, please!
Thanks for your question, Steven.
First, your wife's personal growth is not your responsibility.
I know that may seem harsh, but it's a selfish thing to force someone to change who does not want to change.
We are all responsible for our own growth, and there are those who welcome the change, and others who have no desire to change.
Your only responsibility is to accept her for who she is, and then ask your self if you want to be partners with someone who doesn't want to change. And I think it's important to for you to understand that no one can hold you down, unless you allow yourself to be held down.
With this in mind, ask yourself how it's serving you to allow her to hold you back.
Don't say it doesn't, because if it didn't serve you in someway, you wouldn't be experiencing the situation.
In any healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if she doesn't agree; she has the option to leave the relationship.
As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”
Your relationships will only affect your ability to manifest if you're not true to yourself.