This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.
I have incredible fear surrounding saying no to my clients, disappointing my clients and possibly having my clients be angry with me. This fear exists all the time, even if nothing is going wrong in my business. It is affecting my physical health to the point that I've consulted multiple doctors and am now on medication. I also considered giving up my business on a regular basis. How can I get past this?
Thanks so much for your question…
The answer is both simple and a journey in itself.
You must learn to love yourself.
The reason you're afraid of disappointing someone is because you are relying on them to make you feel ok or worthy or good enough or loved (you pick).
At some point in your life you picked up the belief that you had to be something, do something or act a certain way to be loved. If you disappointed someone, either there were consequences, or they withheld love.
Here's an example to help you see what I mean:
A child struggles in school. Even though they are giving it their best, they bring home an F on their report card. The child's parents are disappointed, and instead of helping the child work to figure out why they are struggling, they get upset, angry or even punish the child.
The message is clear to the child that they are not good enough. So they work harder at doing whatever they can to gain the acceptance of their parents, because to them acceptance now equals love.
Fast forward to your situation.
You don't want to do anything to upset your client because it will cause you to feel that same pain you felt as a child, and so you're willing to put up with anything or do anything to avoid feeling that way again.
The only way to stop feeling this way is to love yourself the same way God loves you.
P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.
P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.