If they don’t get mad, you ain’t doin’ it right!

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.


Quick question: I've been working diligently on overcoming my inner demons and getting past my ego so I can take continuous and decisive actions in my business… it's been a process for sure.

But how do you deal with hate email. I recently received an email from someone “DEMANDING” to be taken off my list. I had no clue she had tried and the system did not work.

My first reaction was that my fear of judgment kicked in and I felt stopped in my tracks! Thankfully I was able to get past it and back on track, but how do you deal with these intense, paralyzing (albeit temporary) fears?


Great question!

The only way to “deal” with fear, is to shine a light on it so that you can see that it's a lie.

I know you've heard me say this before, but Spirit does not speak to you through fear, so anytime you feel that fear and hear those fearful voices in your head, you must stop and ask yourself whose voices those are.

Let's go back to TRUTH. (My favorite place)

Fear is simply your ego's way of stopping you from growing. And the fear was given to you by someone else, usually a parent or someone who had a significant role in your life.

The next time you feel fear, try identifying whose voice is talking to you because it will not be God's.

So let's go back to the first question you asked: How do you deal with hate mail?

My answer is that you don't. You must understand that hate mail has everything to do with the person sending it and nothing to do with you.

You aren't responsible for someone else's thoughts, feelings and emotions, you are only responsible for your OWN.

Kudos to you for recognizing that it triggered your fear of judgment. If you focus your attention on why you have a fear of judgment in the first place, and let the hate mail go, the truth will set you free.

To support you in this self-discovery, I recommend that you study The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

“Just Believe”,ยฎ

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.


  1. I have been working on releasing a person who stalked me for a number of years. The hate emails stopped, but the ‘fear’ didn’t. Moving to forgiveness has not been easy as the fear blocked the way. This blog-post really sums up for me ‘giving it back’. I have shared with some loved ones who have shared this fearful journey with me. Thank you so much.

    • Thanks for the post Jacqueline. Recognizing that the fear you said you experienced is nothing more than a lie to keep you from moving forward allows you to do just that. Time to move forward and never look back.

  2. I think the longer we have an online business, the better we get at ignoring negative comments. Turning over your email to an assistant is a great strategy for avoiding such unwelcome energy impacts.

    • Very true Cheryl. Having someone in your organization handling much of these situations allows you to be in that necessary positive head space all the time. Believe me, I know the value of a good team, and mine is the best at allowing me to focus on what I enjoy doing; and that is helping people achieve their breakthroughs. I appreciate your post.

  3. When I get hate mail and it triggers me, I just assume the Universe is sending me a growth opportunity – a way to identify an unresolved trigger – so that I can resolve it and move forward. The more I have done this, the less hate mail I get. Alternatively, when I deliberately step into a controversial position, I know that people will be upset and send me hate mail. That is purposeful on my part and therefore not upsetting. Just means I’ve done my job! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Good Kathy. That is excellent awareness, realizing that the frustration on the other end has everything to do with the person bringing it. You are only responsible for your reaction to it, and that is usually none at all. If there is an internal reaction to it, drill down in that moment and find out the root. That brings you one step closer to freedom.

  4. Thanks for the reminder David, it is so true that our ego plays a big roll in our fears that are not the thruth , also, I had finally let go and understood that the way people feel about me is not about me personally at all, but about them, I have had this baggage holding me back for a while, but since I have finally understood and let that go, I feel a lot of freedom and compassion for them, now I see them with a different set of eyes.

    • Yes Marita, it is completely about them. One other thing, there is no baggage holding you back, you are choosing to do so willingly. You need to find out why that is and take the steps necessary to move beyond it. It’s right there, all it takes is a decision.

  5. As long as you are taking this time to evaluate yourself by asking questions and seeking answers you are taking responsibility for yourself. It takes a great amount of energy to self-correct, and it is better when you have the right kind of support along the way to help you achieve your ultimate goal in life: To love and to be loved.

    God loves you, so why would you need to live in fear?

    • Indeed Jacklin. Fear is a lie; and there is no way that God would ever put you in a position to believe otherwise. Identify the true meaning behind those feelings, and move on with the awareness that comes from it. Appreciate the post.

    • You’re welcome Gwen. Ruiz should be required reading for most of the people on this planet, especially for questions such as the one addressed here.

  6. Thanks David,

    Your insight reminded me of something Abraham Lincoln once said:

    “If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what’s said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”

    Del Hickson

    • That sums up everything Del; I do the very best I know how โ€“ the very best I can. A brilliant reminder to each of us. I appreciate you placing that here.

      • Love that quote as well Del! Put’s things into perspective doesn’t it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Thanks David… I really needed to read this. Hate mail is a rarity for me at the moment but when it does happen it’s always a bit shocking. But as you said, all you can do is the best you know how and stay in integrity with who you are… and the rest, well leave the b.s. on them.

        I also can appreciate what Kathy said about growth – “the Universe is sending me a growth opportunity โ€“ a way to identify an unresolved trigger”. Fear of being judge and wanting to “look good” is such a deep rooted need for many of us and it can really get in the way of allowing yourself to just be you sometimes and realizing that some things are just other people’s sh*t and now yours.

        Your the best! Big hugs for this one. ๐Ÿ˜€

        • Thanks Michele! Stay in integrity and just know that whatever unsavory responses you get back are based on the other end. It has nothing to do with you.