My spouse’s money-mindset sucks …
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Anna.
What if you and your husband have very different beliefs around money? I know you can't change people, but it is frustrating because I understand the principles.
I appreciate your response.
Money and relationships are pretty tricky, but they don't have to be.
If you and your husband have different beliefs around money, I recommend that you both start taking responsibility for yourselves.
Make your own money, have your own banking accounts, and split the joint bills and expenses.
If you want to save for a trip and he doesn't, go without him, but be prepared for him to do the same.
So many couples struggle with money, especially if one partner makes more than the other. Sometimes it works great and other times it's incredibly disempowering for the person who is not the breadwinner.
If you feel like your decisions are limited by your husband's money mindset, you need to have a heart to heart conversation with him, and let him know that from now on, you'll both be responsible for the bills, but that everything else will go into separate accounts.
This gives him the freedom to do what he wants with his income, and it gives you the freedom as well.
It's against the laws to ask him to change, this way, you'll both have the freedom to believe what you want about money and spend as save as you wish.
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You are totally reading my mind! This is exactly my issue of late. I’ve stepped into doing my work full time (after being laid off with a lovely severance package – thanks, Universe!) and it’s scaring the heck out of my husband who only feels secure when he’s working for someone else. (20 years military instilled that in him.)
He keeps wandering into “oh noes! what if our money runs out!!” while I am holding the high vibration of “it’s all right there, waiting for me to step into it”. I had GREAT success my very first week out offering a high-end program and that’s wigged him out even more. He doesn’t know which way to go!
Thanks for your post here, David and *MANY THANKS* for the Art of Success – I’ve listened about four times now and each time hear something new and needed. You’ve helped expand my horizons in so many ways.
Thanks for the post Lisa. You can only control what you do moving forward and are not responsible for how your husband feels. It’s not a difficult thing, it just IS. I would suggest looking at your current position from a business owner perspective and experience the benefits of being in charge or your own income. You will never go without as long as you know how to create when you need to. Do keep me posted.
Thank you David for sharing this topic with everyone! This is exactly what my husband and I are struggling with. I believe that as long as I work hard and maintain a wealth-mindset, I will draw new clients and opportunities my way (and I have). On the other hand, my husband is fearful of being poor all the time, therefore he works menial low-paying jobs and he tries to discourage me from taking chances financially. This is a continual source of contention in our marriage as I earn 3 times as much as he does. I recently opened up my own bank account again after many years, and I put my extra earnings in there to save up for our dreams, only contributing the same amount he does in our joint account. This post validated for me that I have to do this in order to stop the conflicts and move forward, even if my husband never “gets it”, at least I am working towards the ultimate goals in my financial life. Warmest Regards, Tess
Thank you for your post Tess, and for taking control of your situation and moving forward in faith. It is not always easy, but it provides even more of an incentive to keep moving ahead towards abundance.