Mirror mirror on the wall

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Keith Chovan.


How would people be recognized for not loving themselves, so I can keep those types of people out of my life?


Hi Keith and thanks for this very interesting question.

The truth is that we attract to us who we are being.

Start with yourself. If you love yourself, you will attract others who love themselves or who are in the process of learning to love themselves.

You see you are the center of your Universe. You attract people to you who will be a mirror for you.

Let me explain.

If you find that you've attracted a person into your life that has low self-esteem and it triggers you, it means that you have low self-esteem as well. That person is in your life so you can become aware of your next area of growth.

Remember, anything that upsets you about someone else in your life is about you and not them.

If you start with learning to love yourself, you will accept people for who they are without needing anything from them, or you'll easily be able to let relationships go that no longer serve you.

I think Don Miguel Ruiz sums it up pretty well in his book, The Four Agreements, when he says that what people think of you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

The reverse must then also be true. What you think of other people has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.

If you want to attract people into your life that love themselves, you must love yourself first.

“Just Believe”,®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.


  1. So true!! “Mirror Mirror!” has become a catch phrase in my most significant relationships, and it always brings us back to laughter and giggling whenever we start to project something onto the other. We even have a hand movement so that we can send the message without saying a word — it looks like holding up a mirror. THANKS, David! ♥ Katherine.

    • You’re welcome Sushiqueen. I’d suggest to take the ‘try’ out of moving forward and just do it!

    • So true Kimberly, very messy when we resist the truth. The problem lies in not always being able to see it. I appreciate the comment.

  2. David,
    I am in a process of learning to love myself.
    You have an ability to clarify and simplify complex things.
    What is your definition of loving yourself?
    What does it REALLY mean to love yourself? Thank you.

    • Beau, what do you think it means to love yourself? I ask because It is different for everyone. Sit with that question and the answer will come to you.

  3. Very difficult to accept, but it is so true.
    While growing up as kids, we are taught that it is noble to express our love/respect for others. Not to think too much about ourselves. However, when we grow as adults, to unlearn this and to learn to FIRST love ourselves unconditionally, is very challenging. But if we consciously and consistently do this, it does work like a charm.

    • For sure Lalitha. It’s just a matter of working that muscle memory and learning to love yourself and those around you. I appreciate the post.

  4. Or perhaps you can attract certain people in your life because you were meant to teach THEM something. It is not always about us. If we love ourselves enough and know where the true source of all love comes from, we have enough love to give to others who don’t.

    • You see Lisa, it is all about you since you are creating your reality as you go. Being the center of your Universe is not a bad thing, it just IS. Now, when people come into your awareness they are there for a reason, and yes, you can teach them. But in that teaching you are learning yourself. Thanks for the post.

  5. Wow so true and I caught myself doing that the other day. I said something about someone and quickly realized that that my problem so I said ok and cancel universe I got that.

    • Great Simone. Good for you on catching it, and even better for not buying into it. I like the cancel option, it is a great way to identify the thoughts that are not serving you.

  6. I lived my life as a billiard ball banged around by other forces. In better moments I lived as the player of billiards, competing against others who bang me around. Since immersing myself in your teaching, David, I leave that pool hall every time I catch myself hanging out there. Now I play a different game, very new to me. I am the game inventor and I am all the all the players. I cause it all. Will I love myself this moment? Will I do what I fear this moment? Reality will mirror me and tell me my score.

    • Keep asking the questions Nitsan, you’ll continue to move closer and closer to your desired breakthrough. Thanks for the post.

  7. Thanks David. We are our own greatest enemy and it is all about Projection and learning from the thoughts we project onto others. The challenge is cancelling the projection before it creates the feeling/emotion otherwise we are left with built up, unhealed emotions… and for me the NEED is to deal with the pain in the emotional body following the onset of projection. Why does it have to be so complicated. As children we didn’t have such painful issues… and life becomes a constant battle/struggle just trying to be real and true to ourselves in each given moment…. Wish we could all just live FREE from this … better still why weren’t we taught all this earlier in life …. Rebirthing might provide the answer! lol, Virginia 🙂