Are you just a puppet?
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from an individual who wishes to remain anonymous.
I am absolutely overwhelmed with obstacles to my own growth and success. I have absolutely no idea how to build a business model around what I do. My self-esteem is in the toilet, and I'm terrified of other people and their judgments. My car is a complete wreck and I'm so poor. For this reason I isolate myself. I avoid networking events because I'm ashamed someone will see my car. I avoid promoting myself online because I feel that I have nothing of value to say. I avoid dating because I'm embarrassed by my poverty. How can I start with nothing? Who could possibly help me? I mean really me with all of this?
Right now, the only person who can help you is YOU.
You have to make a decision. And until you make that decision, NOTHING will change no matter who tries to help you.
Right now your programming, your fear and your ego are controlling your life.
All of the self-doubt, fear of judgment, shame and embarrassment was given to you by other people.
It was not given to you by Spirit.
You need to make a decision as to whether you are going to live your own life or if you are going to be a puppet for someone else.
If you choose to live your own life, you need to immediately begin to do EVERYTHING you are resisting.
You must go to networking events to learn that people don't care what car you drive.
You must promote yourself on-line to learn that you DO have something valuable to say.
You must begin dating to learn that how much money you make does not determine your worth.
You must stop hiding.
So to answer your question, no one can help you with this; you must begin to help yourself by first deciding you want a different life and then beginning to IMMEDIATELY take action to create that different life.
And a word from the wise…the longer you wait to take action, the more the fear will try to control you.
P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.
P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.
I was right there for most of this past year, and the bad Secret Thoughts still creep in from time to time. They are a formidable foe. But David’s 100% correct. It’s not the truth. And as soon as you can find the strength to say NO and take action, I AM worth more than this crap, the better you will feel. Who you are has nothing to do with your bank account or car. Anyone who thinks that is not someone you want to be around anyway! And there are plenty of free networking opportunities. Dress up, look your best, get out of your apartment and go talk to people about your passions. It will lift you up.
Well said Bonnie. No better time like now to take action! I appreciate the post.
This is so true what you say David. Not that long ago I was feeling exactly like this individual. My life fell apart on a physical, spiritual, emotional and financial level. I could see no way out and just want to curl up and die. I was down on my knees desperately asking God to show me why I was on this earth at this time. I started asking questions, not the why type of questions but questions such as “What else is possible?” and “What can I do today to make a difference in 1)my own life and 2) the life of someone else?” Then I started practicing gratitude for what I currently had in my life, no matter how small or insignificant I thought it was. Gratitude does wonders for changing your perspective on things. I had to quit feeling sorry for myself and start being grateful for the life that I had. It has changed over the last few years and is continuing to change for the better every day in every way. I am not where I would like to be just yet but I know if it is to be it is up to me and my higher self connecting with the divine source that created everything.
I would like to say to this person – YOU would not be here on this earth right now if you didn’t have value to contribute but first YOU must value YOU! Start practicing being grateful, start a gratitude journal and write 3-5 things every day that you are grateful for. It could be as simple as “I am grateful I heard the birds singing this morning” to “I am grateful I do have a car” and anything else that comes up for you.
Brighter days are yours as long as you do the work on YOU!
Thank you Diane. Practicing an attitude of gratitude helped me many years ago and continues to do so each day of my life. These secret thoughts can be so damaging and worm their way in until finally you say enough is enough. This doesn’t happen immediately for most people…but with practice these thoughts become more and more controlled. I appreciate the post.
Wow! That is an incredibly beautiful and empowering answer…
Thanks Sherry. It’s a simple concept but one that must be repeated over and over again.
To the wonderful person who had the courage to reach out and ask for David’s advice, here is a little food for thought. Last week I heard Neale Donald Walsch sharing how he was homeless for a while. Now look at his success. Eckhart Tolle was also living on the streets. Now look at the way his knowledge is changing the world. There are countless rags to riches stories out there that you can be inspired by. I’m not suggesting that you need to become homeless, but I am suggesting that you may like to look for the gems within your situation.
Libraries are full of inspiration. David offers, for free, The Art of Success, right here on this site. You have the opportunity to reach out to people and learn through the internet. There are so many great resources available at this point in time. A person’s true worth has nothing to do with possessions, position or money, unless you allow it.
As David so wisely suggests, …” you need to immediately begin to do EVERYTHING you are resisting.” Therein your true riches will be found.
This is perfect Lily. The amazing people you included in your post all made the conscious decision to take action toward their desires. It wasn’t always easy, but their drive and determination would not allow them to quit. The way is there, one in that situation just needs to keep going. I appreciate the comment.
That sounded like me talking. I’ve more and more withdrawn from life, if you will, because i’m so embarrassed about my situation. I know I have to help myself but still I hide away and am paralyzed by fear.
I guess I just need to give myself a kick in the rear because right now, everything is going backwards. At least it feels that way.
I’ve been letting myself down for years, holding on to the same old story and even though I can now see what i’m doing, i’ve still struggled to make the change. Yep, because of fear.
So what it amounts to, I guess, is being willing to be judged by others, to risk looking foolish and to continue on regardless.
Despite the fact that it feels uncomfortable, it won’t kill me.
I still want to run and hide though…
I can tell, especially how the comment above reads ‘anonymous’. So what exactly are you hiding from? Just remember, fear is a lie and the more you feed into that lack line of thinking the more likely you are to stay exactly where you are. There is so much more there for you, but you have to believe it AND take action toward it for anything to shift. What will you do today to begin that process?
Hello David. I am not Anonymous but I feel exactly the same way Anonymous does. I know exactly what I am afraid of, all my life people have laughed at me, when I was little people laughed at me because I have black hair (I know that sounds ridiculous, but where I am from it was considered inferior to have black hair, blond hair was held in the highest esteem but it was okay to have brown hair, but not black)(it was a tiny village school and I was the only person in the village with jet black hair). Now I have grown up and people still laugh at me, now not because I have black hair, as I now live in a country where most people have black hair, but now people laugh at me because I have a foreign accent, and they say I “walk like a Gringo” and “act like a Gringo” (as you can deduce “Gringos” are not well looked upon here), So I am feeling very self-conscious all the time and I am also becoming more and more reclusive, because I HATE being called a “foreigner” and a “Gringo” in that derogatory tone everywhere I go, so I totally understand Anonymous. I just wish you could offer some suggestions for people like us. “Go out and face the fear” doesn’t really work in this situation for me, because I have to go out every day and hear people laughing at me and saying I “talk funny”, but I HATE it, so “going out and facing the fear” hasn’t really helped me overcome this problem. I can’t change the way that I walk, and I can’t get rid of the foreign accent that I have since it is not my native language. So I cannot CHANGE the things about myself that people laugh at. And I can’t change people’s contemptuous opinions of “Gringos” here, either. Thank you, David.
A British author I like, Geoff Burch, suggests in his book Go It Alone that the only thing people will notice at first meeting is your car key fob, if you park *ahem* strategically: so pickup a classic luxury car fob off e-Bay if it makes you smile, boosts your confidence, and most importantly, sets your thoughts firmly on the car you WILL soon be driving! (Or, being driven in…)
This cheeky tip is obviously nowhere near the same level as David’s advice, which addresses soul-level success, but I thought I’d mention it fwiw.
That is funny Miss C, and a clever way of ‘fake it until you make it’. I would suggest doing such a thing if it makes this person feel better, but the question becomes more an issue of self worth. Dig deep to see why what you drive is such an issue, and own that it yours alone. Chances are it is so much more involved than what is perceived.
I absolutely love this idea. I am headed over to ebay to do it too. I am in the scary process of changing my life and career. This will be a good way to keep something I plan to get (a BMW) on my mind on a regular basis.
Your advice is absolute: I hold full responsibility for exiting my morass. How refreshing to hear it so clean and actionable. All I have to do is: do everything I resist. I love it when I have only one rule to focus on.The only game in town. Coach David just told me I can get off the bench and play varsity any time I choose.
It really is simple Nitsan, but your ego will do everything within your power to keep you off track. And you certainly need to get off the bench and start doing your life’s work. Everyone benefits when a person does what they love. Thanks for the post.
Thank you, David. You are really helping to give me the courage to do what I love to do, which is what everybody used to laugh at about me in the past (not the black hair I mentioned in the previous post, black hair wasn’t the only thing people used to laugh at me for).
Thanks for showing someone who obviously feels at the bottom that he or she has the power to choose to act differently and not be stopped by fear.
You’re welcome Rosemary. It’s all about perspective and making the decision to not allow your life to be ruled by worry, fear, and doubt. I hope all is well and we look forward to hearing more about your rise in the months and years ahead. Take care.
I totally agree with David’s advice. I used to be in the same boat you were. In fact, I didn’t even have a car. I took the Public BUS to networking events. And, you know what most people didn’t even realize or care that I was taking the bus. They were more concerned about how I can help them grow their business.
I thought no one would care about what I had to say, until one day, a friend pushed me to do a workshop( I was scared as hell) and everybody in the workshop didn’t know what I knew about Social Media. In fact, they didn’t know anything at all, and wanted to learn more. This is when I really knew I had something of value. Fast Forward, a few years later, and now I have a handful of Social Media and writing clients who need my support.
As far as the low-self esteem, low worth, I had that too. I come from a mother who chose men over me. And, I would say to myself: My own mother doesn’t love me, so no man ever will. And, I made really poor choices with men, because I didn’t feel worthy. Luckily, I am in a happy relationship now. But, it took me a lot of letting go, stop feeling sorry for myself, claiming my worth and yes even counseling. I went to therapy because I was tired of feeling “sorry for myself” and realized if I don’t like my situation , I am the ONLY ONE who has th POWER to change it. I feel for you, because I was right where you are, and it seems like there is no way out. Just ask yourself this question : Are you a victim or a superstar? I choose to be a superstar. YOU are worthy of love and abundance, you just have to realize that. Of course, you can have friends, counselors, and business partners who support you along the way, but its only YOU who can make the decision to change your life for the better. I hope this helps and if you ever need to talk or vent, just let me know. You can reach me at http://www.facebook.com/ninaonline and send me a private message. You are in my heart. I am sending you love and light, and rooting for you to see that you are a Shining Start! With much love, Nina Lewis
Thank you so much for sharing your story Nina, it is beautiful. I especially love how you chose to become aware of your thinking and being the superstar as opposed to the victim. This is where most people stall out because they want to blame someone for their position. You are the creator…so create! I greatly appreciate the courage it takes to voice this.
Thank you for having this blog! I enjoy reading it every Saturday! 🙂
What a great answer David. I have felt hopeless myself at times and its good to remember that WE are responsible for making a decision to move from that place. No one else can do it. Thank you!
You most certainly are Janet! Take it a day at a time and keep moving forward.
Bless your heart I can relate to everything you’ve said but for me with the added responsibly of 2 beautiful daughters… Just be brave and take one step, big hugs from us to you…
Ps.. Have you looked at EFT Tapping, it’s something I’ve found helpful
Thanks for the post Kym. Bravery and courage in these situations are yet another stepping stone to bigger and better things.
Wow! Potent feedback!
Thanks for what you do & be David!
Potent indeed. Thanks for the post Jaden.
I suggest you take herbs that help reduce anxiety.
Your fears are connected to your mind, body, and spirit.
You have to take the right kind of herb for your individual needs.
Remember, herbs are medicine. Herbs are potent. DO NOT overlook herbs. In fact, you must cleanse and purify yourself of all the negative thoughts and feelings that hinder your progress in life.
As just an example, I take Ashwagandha, and it is very helpful.
I take a number of other herbs and natural/organic products for my well-being, such as Red Desert Clay, Himalayan salt, and others.
Other herbs you may need to try for anxiety include: Kava Kava, Passion Flower, Ginseng, ect.
I pray that you regain your COURAGE, as you face your fears.
May God Bless you,
We all have our different methods to deal with the issues that life hands our way Jacklin. Thanks for sharing yours. The truth in all of this is that when one is ready to move forward they will make the decision, and do whatever it takes to reach their desired outcome. This all happens because of committed action.