How do I know my resistance isn’t a good thing?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Sherry Rothwell.  You can find her on the web at


I really enjoyed your answer in your blog post “Are You A Puppet”.
It leaves me with the question: How do you know the difference between when resistance is because something isn't right for you vs. resistance because you REALLY need to do it to take yourself to the next level?

Thanks so much David- you are lovely and I really appreciate your work!


What a fantastic question, Sherry!

I think it would help if we used a specific example here, and because so many entrepreneurs resist sales, let's use that as the example.

First things first. When you decide to do anything in your business it is important to ask the question,

“Is this taking me closer to my goal, or further away?”

We know that the lifeblood of any business is really sales. If you don't have sales you don't have a business.

Making sales calls WILL bring you closer to your goal, if your goal is to build your business.

Yet many people will tell me that they are not sales people; that it's just not in their personality.

And it's a big lie. They are resisting doing the thing that will grow their business because of fear.

The crazy thing is that many people won't even try. To really understand if something is not for you, you have to do it long enough to determine if it's not for you.

Herein lies the difference between knowing if something is not right for you or if you're resisting something.

I'm sure you've all heard the phrase, “You won't know if you like it until you try it.” There's a lot of truth to that statement.

If you're wondering if you're resisting something, get very honest with yourself. Determine if doing it will bring you closer to your goal, and if it will, DO IT!

“Just Believe”,®

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  1. Computer lessons at school were the most miserably boring 90 minutes of my young life, because I was a schoolgirl long before there was a world wide web, or even any fun software, and I dropped that class as soon as I could.

    When the internet appeared 15 years later, and it became obvious it was going to be massive, a quantum leap for human interactions in fact, I felt a cold gulp of fear, because “I am not good with computers” + “they’re scarily boring and pointless”… etc. I had plenty of resistance, and of course created plenty of new evidence that the internet age was going leave me behind in the dust.

    One day I picked up a book on HTML, the language websites are (mostly) written in, TELLING myself forcefully that “I AM going to be good at this” – because I’d run out of rational arguments against that resistance! – and never looked back!

    Once I approached it with a clean slate, I had my first web page written within 20 minutes, and even went on to work freelance on websites for a few years, and my life’s moved on now, but nothing computer-related is frightening to me any more.

    I now know I can learn anything, if I just take a good old fashioned positive attitude to it, and past experiences are meaningless.

    For goodness sake dip in a toe, Sherry, or better yet just dive in, TELL yourself “I am going to excel at this!” Any fears you have are almost certainly “False Evidence Appearing Real” based on some unpleasant – or more likely, just plain BORING – experience your mind has tucked away as its one reference point for that thing.

    And who knows… you might even like it, and go on to make several million from your insights, expertise, and innovations in that area. Sorry for the long comment! That experience changed my life.

    • I love this Miss C! It just goes to show you that fear is a lie, and with perseverance and study you can accomplish anything. Thank you for sharing this great story.

      PS: Dip in a toe… Well said!

  2. One of the things that attracted me to you David is that you said: “Become a manifester of miracles.” And also “Sales is manifesting miracles.”

    Until you connected sales with miracles I thought maybe I could find an excuse to avoid selling. But once you reframed sales as the miracle—it was like a door opened and I could enter a path to grow and succeed. I had to agree with you from the start that sales was the most basic engine of my business, and that logically I must be the best salesman. But I resisted sales and sought a way out even as I have trained in sales and done the dance. But I stopped myself from succeeding.

    I still have resistance to overcome. That’s natural. I wont let that be an excuse. As long as I invest myself in sales and I am coached by the best I constantly improve at it. So I don’t have to be stressed about my level of success on any given moment.