Can I make myself WANT this?
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
Question:
Hi David,
I have listened to several of your courses the most recent being The Miracle of Money. I am still hung up on one thing.
Can we change our desires willingly or are they inherent in our truth? More specifically, I desire to leave my relationship with my husband of 11 years, but he would like to make it work. We have two children. If I can actually change my desire to want to be with him, then could I be happy staying? He says, “If you can manifest anything in your thoughts, then manifest a happy relationship with me.”
If this is a choice, I want to make it. I am belaboring this choice because of the children. Most of all, I want to make the choice one way or the other and MOVE ON finally!
Answer:
Hi and thanks for this question.
If you could change your desire, you would have changed it by now.
Desire, by definition, means a strong feeling of wanting or longing. But what the definition fails to tell us is where that desire actually comes from.
You see desire is actually given to us. Spirit gives that deep longing in our hearts to us, and the purpose of that desire is so that we may grow.
Sometimes the desire we feel may not seem easy to attain. Sometimes it may even feel impossible to ever have. But if we look to Universal Truth, we know that a desire is never given without the way to achieve that desire already present.
This can sometimes be tricky in relationships.
Do you and your husband have the same goals and values?
Do you both want the same things?
Are you both able to have open and honest conversations about those things?
As I've stated in the past, we aren't taught how to choose our relationships. So when we decide to marry when we are young or unaware, oftentimes we make that decision based on romantic feelings rather than values and life goals.
Then as time passes and we get the urge to change and grow, sometimes our partners don't have that same desire. This can drive a very deep wedge in the relationship.
Ultimately, you have to listen closely to your secret thoughts and honor your desires, and in any relationship open and honest communication is essential.
“Just Believe”,®
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2 comments
True, David. If you don’t have open communication, there is no hope, but before deciding to leave, discover why you came together. The key is to look within yourself for your fulfillment and not in your husband. Otherwise you will attract the same circumstances again. I had a client who wanted to find what was missing in her marriage from another man. Then discovered her husband was having an affair. I showed them why they were together and how to communicate their true authentic selves and share their soul’s purpose together and now they are having their second honeymoon.
Thank you, David, this helps me more than you can imagine! I have always always always had a deep and secret desire to do a certain thing (something that is good) but I was constantly chastised for having this desire, by people telling me that it was “selfish” to have desires and I wasn’t supposed to do what I wanted to do, I was supposed to do what OTHER people wanted me to do because doing what you want to do is selfish, and that I wasn’t good enough to do what I desired to do, that I didn’t deserve to get the things that I wanted because I was a bad person, etc. So all my life I have felt very, very guilty about wanting the things that I wanted or even, wanting anything at all!