Should I end a toxic friendship?
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Margaret.
I have a lifelong friend (someone whom I’ve known and been close to for nearly 30 years), who has a very toxic side. At first I didn’t notice it, but now as I’m growing, I’m seeing it as clear as day. I know it’s rubbing off on me, and yet, I don’t want to walk away from this relationship.
Is there something I can do to keep her in my life and still protect myself from the toxicity?
Hi, Margaret, and thanks for the great question.
Last month I answered this same question during one of my Mindset for Maximum Prosperity Intensives, so let me ask you the same question I asked one of my attendees.
How much toxicity would you allow in your home?
Would you allow just a little bit of lead paint?
Just a little bit of arsenic?
I think not.
So why would you allow it in to your personal relationships?
The answer: YOU ARE ATTACHED.
Ask yourself: What are you getting from the relationship?
And then see what’s actually going on here.
My advice would be to set her free.
Otherwise you’ll find yourself either trying to change her (which is not your right or responsibility), or you will continue to take on her toxic energy and/or beliefs.
It’s possible that this relationship was meant to be for a season rather than a lifetime.
PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.
Love this answer. Had to do this with a 40+ relationship. It was the longest term relationship I had besides my parents! It was harder than my divorce. I grieved. I cried. AND it was the best thing I could have ever done. From that release, I let go of lots of other toxic things that I didn’t notice … it got the ball rolling. It helped open up my awareness and field of opportunity.
Yes. It is worth it. That little bit of toxic grows and permeates.
Thank you for sharing Joan. You can tell from your example just how difficult this can be, but when you make the decision that your growth is more important than remaining in a toxic relationship you are well on your way to greater things. That tie being cut set off a chain reaction for you, and that is something to be celebrated. Asking yourself, ‘what am I tolerating?’ is one way to keep yourself in a constant state of awareness and growth. Cut out those things and people who are not helping or supporting you and it opens up space for those who will. Appreciate the post!