This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Stephanie.
Hi David, I just read your answer to a question about “pushing away” negative thoughts and I have a follow-up question for you. Sometimes when we have a negative feeling like fear, the solution is simply to change focus to the positive. Other times, focusing on the positive can be an escape from having to face a fear and deal with it.
How can I tell whether to turn away from a negative thought/feeling, or to face it?
What a great question.
Turning your back on the fear simply means to not let it control what you’re thinking or doing.
I think it may be helpful to use an example.
Let’s say Beth wants to build a business, and to build that business, she knows she needs to make sales.
However, sales is something Beth is very much afraid of, as she’s very concerned about what people may think of her. The thought of making someone angry or feeling “salesy”, causes Beth to have a really hard time engaging in sales conversations both in person and on the phone, which in turn is negatively affecting her ability to make money.
Beth needs to recognize that the fear is a lie, turn her back on it, not allow it to control her and pick up the phone or make the contact regardless of the fear.
She should only focus on the positive outcomes she wants, not on worrying about angering someone or what they may think of her.
Focusing on the positive doesn’t mean she’s not “dealing” with something she needs to deal with; she’s stepping right through what’s causing her to feel the fear. And as soon as she does that, the fear loses its power.
You see fear rears its head when you’re on the cusp of growth. Never turn away from that growth because of the fear. Instead, turn your back on the fear, tell it to get behind you and keep going!
Never deal with the fear itself…deal with what’s causing the fear.
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