Her “toxic” side
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
David,
I have a high school friend (someone who is more a sister to me and an aunt to my kids). At first I didn’t notice her “toxic side”, but now as I’m growing, I’m seeing it as clear as day. I know it’s impacting me, and yet, I don’t want to walk away from this person I love.
Isn’t there something I can do to keep her in my life and still protect myself from the toxicity?
Hi, and thanks for the question.
Let me ask you something important…
How much toxicity would you allow in your home?
Would you allow just a little bit of lead paint?
Just a little bit of arsenic?
I think not.
So why would you allow it in to your personal relationships?
The answer:
YOU
ARE
ATTACHED.
Ask yourself: What are you getting from the relationship?
And then see what’s actually going on here.
My advice would be to set her free.
Otherwise you’ll find yourself either trying to change her (which is not your right or responsibility), or you’ll continue to take on her toxic energy and/or beliefs.
It’s possible that this relationship was meant to be for a season rather than a lifetime.
A great resource for you, and I suggest you read it immediately, is a book titled, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I think it will shed a lot of light on what you’re experiencing and how it may be showing up in your other relationships as well.
PS: If you enjoy reading my weekly Neagle Code, you'll LOVE my podcast, The Successful Mind. You can expect cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships, all based in Universal Law and my own experience creating a multi-million dollar business.
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