When your spouse doesn’t share your money mindset

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’ve been studying your teachings for some time now, but my husband has no interest in wealth mindset. We both have very different beliefs around spending and it’s starting to create some problems for us, especially when we plan trips or larger purchases (like furniture). Do you have any suggestions on how to navigate this?

Neagle Code Answer

If you and your spouse have different beliefs around money, I recommend that you both start taking responsibility for yourselves.

Make your own money, have your own banking accounts, and split the joint bills and expenses.

If you want to save for a trip and he doesn’t, go without him or offer to cover the cost of the trip, but be prepared for him to do the same.

So many couples struggle with money, especially if one partner makes more than the other. Sometimes it works great and other times it’s incredibly disempowering for the person who is not the breadwinner.

If you feel like your decisions are limited by your husband’s money mindset, you need to have a heart to heart conversation with him, and let him know that from now on, you’ll both be responsible for the bills, but that everything else will go into separate accounts.

This gives him the freedom to do what he wants with his income, and it gives you the freedom as well.

It’s against the Universal Laws to ask him to change. This way, you’ll both have the freedom to believe what you want about money, and spend and save as you wish.


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[Fast Cash Formula Series] Article #5 ~ Why Do You Need What You Need?

I told you last time that bringing in “your need” consistently is the key to getting what you want.

Your need is the amount to the penny that it takes to pay your bills each month. So, it’s your rent or mortgage, food, clothes, current business expenses, health insurance, monthly debt payment, and so on.

But it's also more than that.

Your need is your reality.

It’s a snapshot of where you are, and it offers unparalleled opportunity for insight and freedom.

What's the Story in that Snapshot?

To understand what your need is telling you, begin by calculating it. It's easy. Start with your accounting software or just pull out your check book, get a calculator, and add up the total of your bills. If your expenses vary drastically from month to month, just average the past several months.

After you have tallied your need, I want you to identify why you need that amount.

In other words, why do you have those particular bills?

You need what you need for a reason. You created the situation or circumstances in your life that you need that money for.

Chances are that situation is not a new story in your life. It’s a recurring story and may be a recurring story in your family as well.

For example, let’s say your need of $7,232.13 includes a $5,000 monthly mortgage payment and you and your spouse only bring in $6,000 a month. Let’s also say that you didn’t want to buy this house. You knew it was too expensive, but your spouse insisted, lied on your mortgage application to get it, and now you’re struggling every month.

You now have the opportunity to change that story forever. How? By taking responsibility for it.

Take Responsibility for Your Need

If you blame your spouse for buying the house, not only are you not seeing the situation clearly, but you’re powerless to change it.

However, when you take responsibility for the purchase, you may realize that you regularly allow your spouse’s judgment to override your own, and then retaliate with resentment and anger. That way, you get to be right and the victim. You may also recognize that lack, struggle, power plays and dishonesty were prevalent in your childhood as well.

This is great news, because now that you have acknowledged all of that and taken responsibility for creating it, you are empowered to change the situation.

You stand up to your spouse and begin to create a new story that can bring you prosperity, fulfilling relationships and growth.

And it all began with a simple calculation. So pull out your check register, and get started.


David Neagle, The Million Dollar Income Acceleration Mentor and author of The Millions Within, teaches entrepreneurs and commission-based sales professionals how to quantum leap their current incomes past the 7-figure income level, often in less than 12 months. As a world-class speaker, sales trainer, and success-mindset mentor to some of the globe’s top CEOs, David also privately mentors big decision-makers in their pursuit of quantum success and peace of mind.