When to reconsider a relationship

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I jumped out of a relationship last year, so my ex and I have been living apart for a year now. But sometimes, I still think about whether I should go back.

Should I completely stop myself from moving forward with my own life? Should I be with her and my child again? Because I still miss them…

I’m looking for a way to break free, but I’m afraid to make the same decision and another mistake.

Neagle Code Answer

Thanks for the great question!

Quite simply… here is the root cause of your problem:

You haven’t made a decision.

You’re essentially trying to live in two worlds at the same time. And the only thing that this does is that it adds even more confusion to your life.

What I’d suggest is to get crystal-clear on the vision of what you want for your life. This is a vision in which you won’t have to change anyone.


Whenever doubt comes in our mind, it destabilizes the thought process.

Confusion does nothing, aside from opening doors to even more doubt in your life. 

This is because you’re considering a part of what you don’t want. Our mind then tries to rationalize this, and it does so based on pain – the very same thing you made a decision not to be a part of. And at this point, you start considering things that don’t serve you in any way.

Unless something’s changed so significantly that it now checks all the “yes” boxes in your mind, there’s no reason to reconsider the relationship.

All of this confusion can go away once you’ve clarified your vision. And the moment this happens, there will be no more of these hypotheticals. You won’t have to wonder what would happen if something or someone changes. 

Besides, it’s not your job to change anyone.

Rather, your job is to clearly define your vision and its parameters. By doing so, you’ll make every decision relatively easy. 

Either someone fits the vision of your life or they don’t. 

Then, it’s only a matter of making that final decision and moving forward.

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