Why Working Through Your Bad Feelings is a Trap
This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
You were talking about how to change your mental state when you’re in a negative emotion. You mentioned that whenever you got into a state of mind you didn’t like, you’d stand up and scream. You’d shout exactly what you wanted to experience instead, and you’d get emotionally involved in it.
My question is, did you allow yourself to feel the bad feeling first, so that you could work through it?
No. You don’t need to work through the bad feeling more than once. After that, it’s just habitual.
There’s nothing to work through. It’s all about changing it.
You see, “working through something” is one of the biggest cons people play on themselves. That’s your subconscious mind figuring out a way to get you to agree with the problem, and to keep paying attention to the bad feeling.
Once you understand why you’re doing it, you don’t need to know anymore.
Now it’s time to change it.
This is how tricky the subconscious mind is. Some people will get triggered by something, and re-triggered again later. Next thing they know, they’re asking, “How did I get re-triggered? Where did I go back into the story?”
But that’s just giving more energy to the bad feeling.
You need to drop that—and go right back to focusing on what you want instead.
Some coaches say you have to work through the emotions that you’re feeling. But you really don’t. That’s a lie from the pit of hell. All it does is reinforce the negative emotion.
Once you know where it’s coming from, you don’t need to know anymore.
The whole idea of “working through it” comes from broken people—broken coaches, broken therapists. They tell other broken people to do that all the time, because they do it themselves.
They don’t want to leave the emotion. So they’re like, “Feel it. Go deeper.”
No, that’s complete BS. It’s just an internal reaction at that point.
The idea is to change it immediately.
The moment you notice it, jump up and change it.
Even if you have multiple things triggering you, say to yourself, “Nope, I’m not entertaining that. I’m moving on. I’m going to the next step.”
That’s what we call “constant space repetition.” You’re constantly reminding yourself to go back to the new thought. Then eventually it becomes habitual. At a certain point, you’ll no longer have to say the same thing over and over again. It will become your new default pattern.
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