I Grew Up with a Family of Alcoholics

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I grew up in a family of alcoholics, and there was not a lot of communication or love shown in my family. I’ve struggled with letting myself be free and open, and really going for what I want.

I’ve always felt like I’m capable of doing different things. But if I don’t reach my goal, or if things get too hard, it’s easy for me to jump ship and go to something else. It’s like I always jump from one thing to the next without letting myself get emotionally involved in the results. As a teenager, I felt like I didn’t have any passion for anything—and I still feel like that today. How can I overcome this?

Neagle Code Answer

If you grew up in a family of alcoholics, I want you to understand something very important.

The predominant emotional charge in families of alcoholics is shame. It’s almost impossible to get to passion when shame is overriding everything that’s going on. This has been known for a long time.

There’s a way to overcome shame and get out of it, but you have to consistently work at it.

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to live that way. You don’t have to let shame control your life. It’s a skillset, learning how to get out of shame. It’s a big issue to be in a family dealing with that much dysfunction. I know it’s hard.

But you have nothing to be ashamed of. And neither does anybody in your family.

The shame that families of alcoholics experience is projected by society. They’ve taken it on.

But you have nothing to be ashamed of.

The fact is, people who engage in substance abuse are trying to find a way out of some pain they feel. They just don’t know how to get there. Substance abuse provides a fast way out of the pain.

It’s actually a reflection of someone’s higher consciousness trying to get out of the pain, but they were never shown how. In the essence of that idea alone…there’s tremendous amount of pride and love that goes into that.

It’s not an addiction to alcohol that’s the problem; it’s an addiction to how you feel, versus the pain that you’re experiencing.

We want to get out of the pain. We want to step into the idea that:

“I can generate these feelings on my own, and I don’t need a substance to be able to do it. I don’t need to live in a bottle for the rest of my life, and I don’t have to succumb to the shame that society projects on me.”

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation, and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Summit! In April 2022, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How Do I Handle My Crazy Work Load?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Ron. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

How do I stop distraction? My mind is constantly pulling me in 10 different directions. I’ll study something you’re saying—then my mind drifts off…or my phone lights up and I get thrown off track.

Also, now that everything is open, my business is getting crazy. I’m trying to stay disciplined and stick to what’s on my calendar. But there are so many things I need to do that, and I keep getting off track. It makes me frustrated. There’s not enough hours in the day to get everything done, and my whole timing gets thrown off. Can you help?

Neagle Code Answer

There are a few things I’d suggest.

First of all, shut off the phone. Put it in a different room, away from you, and just turn it off.

Secondly, when it comes to studying, most people experience what you’re experiencing. When they’re reading or listening to something, their mind will go on a thought trip, based on something that grabbed their attention. They’ll start thinking about what they’re experiencing in the moment.

That’s why I encourage you to listen to things, and read things more than once. That’s the process of study.

Right now, your mind has a lot of unanswered questions… which I think is great.

Stop beating yourself up over it. I think you need to be a bit more calm and patient with yourself. Listen to the audios as many times as you need to, until you run the brain out of those questions, so you’re satisfied with the answers.

You’re doing fine. You really are. But calm down a little bit. Take a deep breath. Try to be as present as you can with whatever you’re doing.

Make the world start to conform to YOU, instead of you being pulled in so many directions by what’s happening around you.

Thirdly, when it comes to your business, you need help. Maybe it’s time to hire someone in the specific areas where you need help. Get an assistant or hire somebody.

That’s part of the challenge of being in business—is having to hire (and sometimes fire) people. Welcome to being in business.

Many business owners get hung up on, “How am I going to pay this person?” And so, they suffer and complain and don’t hire the person.

There’s no other answer. You can only do so much. Why be miserable? Just hire someone. If you have to lay them off in a month because things slow back down again, then you lay them off. That’s the nature of life.

But seriously, try to calm yourself and ask:

How can this be fun?

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice, and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners together for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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What’s the Process for Getting Unstuck?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

What do I need to do to get unstuck? Is stepping into gratitude all that’s required?

Neagle Code Answer

Great question!

To answer this, I’ll quote something from “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Wattles.

In Chapter 7 on Gratitude, in the 13th line, he says:

“The whole process of mental adjustment and atonement can be summed up in one word: gratitude. First, you believe there is one Intelligent Substance, from which all things proceed. Secondly, you believe that this Substance gives you everything you desire. Thirdly, you relate yourself to it through a feeling of deep and profound gratitude.”

That’s it—that’s the process for getting unstuck.

When you’re stuck, it’s usually because you’re not viewing something accurately.

Getting unstuck is about adjusting your mind and shifting your outlook. (He calls this “mental adjustment and atonement.”) Atonement is simply correcting an error such as an error in thinking.

You bring yourself back to the awareness that “one Intelligent Substance” exists (i.e., God or the Universe and everything in it).

You see yourself as being a part of that “Intelligent Substance,” not outside of it. (Nothing can exist outside of God or the universe.)

And finally, you feel a sense of gratitude that everything you want is already here.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Are We All Energetically Connected?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. 

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I intellectually understand the concept of karma, oneness, and universal energetic connection—that we’re all connected. Sometimes I’ll think of someone, and they’ll suddenly call me. Other than that, I don’t fully believe or trust that I’m connected with everyone else. I don’t feel that in my body. I continually doubt that it’s true. Am I supposed to feel it?

Neagle Code Answer

When we’re talking about being connected, I think it’s more of an awareness than a feeling.

We’re all energetically connected. Each of us is part of the same wholeness that we call the “universe,” God, spirit, or whatever you want to call it. None of us are outside of that creation.

This has to do with the law of vibration. There’s no mark of demarcation between one physical object and another.

What we call “space” is actually a place for energy.

Imagine your body as a universe—not the universe, but a universe. Picture all the little cells inside of you, seeing themselves as individual from you. They’re not individual from you. They live inside you. They’re part of you. It’s all part of you. But they’re also a thing outside of you.

You and I are connected right now, not because you’re reading this article, because we’re all connected through energy. You’re connected to everybody that way.

This doesn’t mean you “feel” that, or you feel everybody. It’s more of a conscious understanding. You might be misconstruing the terminology or the study of the law of vibration.

Telepathy is 100% real—where you think of someone and they call you. It can totally happen. There have probably been many times when you thought about a person, but you didn’t act on the thought.

Have you ever asked yourself, “I wonder why that person popped into my mind just now?” Probably because they were thinking of you.

But they wouldn’t know you’re thinking about them if you didn’t take the action on it.

I’ll think of several people of the blue whom I haven’t thought about for a long time—and I know the only reason I’m thinking about them is because they’re probably thinking about me, and I’m picking up on it.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! This October 2021, I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Feeling Guilty After the Loss of a Child

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

Five years ago I lost a child. I feel guilty about it, and it’s blocking everything else in my life. In the last six months of her life when she was sick, I could have spent more time with her. I could have made different choices.

How do I move past this? This is blocking me everywhere.

Neagle Code Answer

I’m sorry for your loss.

Grief is extremely painful. Sometimes we internalize it towards ourselves when we’re angry that the person we love left. I don’t know if you’ve ever explored that or not, especially when it’s a child. It’s hard to be angry at a child when a child dies.

But here’s what I do know: we’re all going to lose people we love. Death is a part of life. We start dying from the moment we’re born.

Everyone is here in this life to interact with people in order to learn something.

I’d ask yourself, “What is this supposed to teach me?” You had this experience for a reason; she had this experience for a reason. But now we’re working with you.

What are you supposed to learn from this, that will make your life better?—that will make it more fulfilling, more enriching, and which will add more contribution? What do you need to learn?

When you get really clear on what you need to learn from this, you’ll start seeing something open up in front of you that you don’t currently see. I can’t tell you what that will be. But every bit of awareness we gain, everything we become aware of, leads us to the next phase of our life, the next opportunity.

It’s always to help other people in some way, to enrich our life, to enrich their life, or to contribute or be of service. It’s never for you to suffer or beat yourself up over.

Also… it’s perfectly fine to be angry that she left.

Not feeling guilty doesn’t mean you didn’t love her. People think, “If I don’t suffer, or if I don’t feel guilty, that means I must not have cared.” And that’s not true. That’s a lie from the pit of hell. Don’t take that on.

The other truth is that we always could have done something better. You did what you did. You were who you were, because of who you were at the time. You couldn’t have possibly known the outcome that would happen…to the point where you could reverse and reevaluate how you should have behaved. Nobody can know that.

To beat ourselves up in hindsight doesn’t help us move forward.

So it’s about looking at: what do we need to learn to move forward?

She knows you loved her. And she’s there; you can talk to her. I don’t know if you do that or not, but you can and you probably should. She’s all around you all the time; she always will be.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How Long Does it Take to Manifest an Idea?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Athony.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

Can you explain the Law of Gender and what an incubation period is?

Neagle Code Answer

Any time something is being created, there’s a period of time between the inception of that thing—and the moment it comes to full maturity.

This has to do with the Law of Gender, which states that everything has a gestation period (or “incubation period”).

For example, think about a baby. From conception to birth, it takes about nine months (or 280 days) for it to be born. A tomato, watermelon, frog, or anything else may take a different amount of time to be formed. For most life forms, we know what the specific timeframes are.

But when it comes to an idea, we usually don’t know the specific time it will take. From the moment I get an idea—till I make a decision to act on it, and I start to manifest it—I don’t know how long it will take me to bring that idea to life.

Here’s why it’s useful to know about the Law of Gender—because we have to understand there’s a timeframe for anything we want to do, and we have to figure out what the timeframe is.

At best, when we set a goal, we’re guessing. We only know what the timeframe will be if we’ve already set that particular goal before (and reached it). But there’s not a whole lot of growth in setting the same goal over and over again.

When we’re setting a new goal that we’ve never done before, there’s an incubation period (or gestation period) for it.

Let’s say I set a 30-day goal and I don’t hit it. Then I have to look at one or two things: “Did I give my best in everything I did?” And, “Did I do everything I thought would work to do this?” If the answer is yes, then all we did was set the wrong time. We don’t change the goal; we just extend the timeframe.

So maybe it’s not 30 days—maybe it takes 45 days, 60 days, or 90 days to create what you want.

The great thing is, once we uncover the timeframe it will take to create something, in many cases we can often shorten that timeframe with increased knowledge and adaptation. The better we get at doing something, the faster we can do it.

I’m going to be teaching this as part of a BRAND-NEW FREE 5-Part Course I’ve titled, The Open Door Method. This is my personal formula that has opened the door to millions of dollars in business revenue, generated thousands of leads, and uncovered countless opportunities hidden in plain sight. It all starts Monday at 2:30pm ET. CLICK HERE for all the details!

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Am I Attracting Bad Things?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

When I have a negative thought about something, I try working through it…but I end up focusing on it so much, I feel like I’m bringing more negativity to me.

Then it creates a fear in me like, “OMG, I’m bringing in sickness or other things I’m worried about…even though I’m saying ‘no, I’m not going to have those problems.’ The more I try to flip it, the more it seems like I’m making it even stronger. Am I using the law of attraction incorrectly?

Neagle Code Answer

First off, the law of attraction actually isn’t one of the universal laws. It’s a subsidiary idea of the law of vibration—which says whatever you’re “expecting” in your life (good or bad) is also what you’re in harmony with.

What people call the “law of attraction” is a complete misnomer. It’s not an actual law.

If you’re thinking about negative scenarios, you don’t need to say, “No, I’m not going to have those problems.”

Instead, the first thing you’d go to is responsibility, then gratitude.

Responsibility is about owning every single result in your life, and knowing what you did to either cause it or contribute to it showing up.

Gratitude makes you look at what’s good in your life. Then you start moving in that direction.

So the idea is, you don’t acknowledge the negative thing at all.

The only way a negative thought can grab you is if you believe in some kind of fear. In every case, fear is always based on a lie.

It’s really that simple. Just don’t overcomplicate it.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Does the Ego Get in the Way of Your Desire?

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone Danielle M.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

This year I had a quantum leap. I went from making $40K to making multiple six figures. It wasn’t easy to get there. But once I had momentum, it started getting easy.

Now, to grow beyond that, it feels like I’m getting pinched a bit. My question is about the ego. The ego wants to keep you safe, and doesn’t want you to expand or grow, right? Does the ego live in your conscious mind?

Neagle Code Answer

The ego doesn’t reside in the conscious mind. It’s expressed through our conscious mind, just like anything else.

The ego is the false self we create, based on the environment we were exposed to as a child. It takes us through the world in a way we think will keep us safe. It’s based on the beliefs and patterns we have in our subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind is always absorbing everything that’s coming into it from an outside source. It also holds your spiritual DNA. What we refer to as the “subconscious,” the early Greeks referred to as “the heart of man” — like in the saying, “As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Your subconscious mind is where your desire emanates from and where the direction of your purpose comes from.

Desire is our spiritual guide in life. However, most of us are not attuned to listening to our desire.

If you have a desire to grow your income, here’s how you start listening to that:

Ask yourself: “What do I think about in my secret thoughts? — the thoughts I don’t tell anybody about? The place where I fantasize, imagine, and wish I could live in a different place for a period of time?” That’s your desire trying to speak to you.

But it’s so suppressed, because as we go through life living with other people, they don’t let us express ourselves as we are. They let us express ourselves based on what makes them comfortable.

We’re taught to shut down our desire out of a fear of what people will think of us if we follow through on it.

Your desire will take you exactly where you want to go in life, if you start listening to it.

When you’re worried about what’s going on outside of you, what people will think of you, or if you feel like you have something to hide that’s making you uncomfortable — that’s your ego being threatened.

Moving through that to the other side by following your desire, won’t necessarily feel good in the beginning. You have to be able to move through those feelings that don’t feel good.

When you’re moving in the direction of what you want, you’ll experience two things simultaneously. Usually, it’s some kind of fear or being uncomfortable — and excitement at the same time.

You know you’re in an area of growth if you’re feeling both of those things.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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Dealing with Difficult Clients

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

I’m a CPA. And in the past, I’ve had clients with a lot of financial anxiety that they ended up taking out on me. But I’m trying to avoid this now because I would like to reduce the amount of stress in my life and not be affected by these things. How do I do it?

Neagle Code Answer

It’s not easy doing business with people who often fall into victim mode and blame others for things that happen.

The good news is there are a few ways to deal with this.

But personally, I wouldn’t even work with people who don’t take responsibility for their own circumstances; because if someone doesn’t see me working with them as a benefit, I wouldn’t even try to build a relationship with them.

The logical thing to do here would be to change the group of people that you’re working with and selling to.

If you try to change someone, chances are that you won’t succeed.

We simply can’t make other people change.

Now, I get that you may not be in a position where you can just switch out your clients. A lot of people are scared and anxious these days, especially with the whole COVID situation.

With this scenario in mind, the best thing that you can do is change YOUR mindset.

How?

By coming from a place of compassion.

The best way to keep your sanity is to not take it personally when other people’s anxiety lashes out. 

Understand that it has nothing to do with you, even though it’s directed at you. Some people just don’t have healthy coping mechanisms, and that’s neither your fault nor responsibility.

Finally, you can (and should) try to ensure that this behavior doesn’t get directed towards you. And the most effective way to do it is to set boundaries. 

So, tell your clients that their behavior is unacceptable and that you won’t tolerate it.

Remember that you’re not the cause of your client’s problems. And you’re under no obligation to solve them or suffer for them. 

You can either move on or set healthy boundaries to keep your peace intact.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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How to Stay in The Flow

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Susan.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David,

Sometimes, I’m in a flow when it comes to sales. But other times, I’m not. I want to start my own business and it feels like my subconscious programming is keeping me from going out and talking to people.

What do I do?

Neagle Code Answer

Here’s a major problem that I see in many people… 

When they’re selling for others, they’re absolute superstars. But as soon as they want to start their own business, their sales prowess goes away. 

Suddenly, they become timid and fearful. And they have no idea why that happens.

Allow me to explain why.

When you’re selling for someone else, rejection doesn’t feel personal. 

You think:

“Well, they just don’t want the company that I’m working for.”

But when it’s your company, things get a lot more personal. 

All of a sudden, rejection makes you feel like you’re not worthy of making sales or running a business.

Luckily, there’s a way to overcome this thinking – and a very simple way at that.

All you have to do is shift your focus.

The focus of sales isn’t to make money – it’s to help people.

Selling isn’t something that you do to someone, but for them. 

When making a sale, what you’re really doing is helping someone arrive at a decision that will make their life better in some way.

Your job isn’t to convince someone to say “yes”. Instead, it’s to guide someone’s decision-making towards either a “yes” or a “no”.

When you understand this, sales becomes a numbers game. Your goal from that point on is to find those who need what you have to offer, not change the mind of those who don’t.

This is how you become a true sales rock star who’s passionate about what you’re selling. You become inspired by what your product or service can do for others and how it can better their life.

The moment you adopt this approach, sales will become effortless.

P.S. Whenever you're ready… here are 3 ways I can help you grow YOUR business:

  • Listen to The Successful Mind Podcast. Three times per week I drop cutting edge information and strategies relating to success mindset, leadership, wealth creation and relationships.
  • Join other like-minded small business owners in my Transformation Facebook Group! Allow us to be a place to share ideas, get advice and meet others who value truth and growth!
  • Join me at The Art of Success Virtual Summit! In April 2021 I'm getting a group of amazing business owners for 3 days to work on exponentially growing their business.

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