boundaries Archives

How to set proper boundaries in your business and personal life

November 4, 2017

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David!

I feel like my business is swallowing me up, and it’s to the point now that I can’t see a difference between my personal life and my business life. Even my friendships and relationships are steeped in my business to the point where I feel like I can’t have a genuine conversation without someone in my life asking for coaching or business tips. I know I need to untangle this, but am unsure of the steps.

Thanks!

Hi, and thanks for this question.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries.

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. Use your calendar and stick to it!

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like travel, join a travel club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite destination, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversations.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. See the sidebar to ask your question today!

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How to set up boundaries between work and personal life

October 1, 2016

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David,

HELP!!! As a small business owner, my entire life is devoted to running and keeping my business afloat. I have not had time for a personal life. When I get with people in my industry, one or two things tend to happen:

1) They want me to mentor them for free;

2) They want to sell me their services when all I want is a friend.

How can I separate my business and my personal life when they are one in the same?

Thank you for the question!

The problem you are describing in your question is nothing more than a boundary issue.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries:

1) Have a set start and end time to your work day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business.

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like to fish, join a fishing club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite fishing spot, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversation.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

Keep in mind that as you do this, you may feel a small bit of anxiety. It’s perfectly normal as you begin to redefine who you are and what life you most want to live.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

6 comments

Can I do side work while building my dream business?

July 23, 2016

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Hi David,

I am facing a new chapter in my life — acknowledging my true desire as it pertains to work. I know I have all the tools, but I need some time to put it all together and build. During this time, as I build and map out, I have to generate some income in order to pay bills while I launch this new project. As it pertains to the laws of the universe, would it be okay for me to generate money doing work to support this initial step (even if its something that I do like, but its not the love of my life); but that can support this process at this time?

Hi!

This is a fantastic question, and the answer lies within the concept of setting strict boundaries for yourself in terms of time and money.

It is absolutely fine and sometimes necessary to do work in one area while transitioning into another. However, there are a few things that need to take place to make sure this decision doesn’t end up sabotaging your desires or even side-tracking them.

First: Set your goal and stick to it. Do your research and find out exactly how much money you need to earn to finance your new endeavor. Plan how you’re going to set that money aside (perhaps in it’s own savings account that is not to be used for anything).

Second: Set a definitive date by which you will completely transition. This date must be FIRM.

Third: Calendar! Make sure you are calendaring ALL of your business planning activities. This needs to be a priority. Do not let anything distract you from this.

If you follow these 3 steps, you’ll have the capital and the plan in place to completely transition into doing what you truly love!

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

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Why have I attracted abuses into my life?

June 18, 2016

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Why have I attracted abuses into my life?

My earliest memories are of being ‘picked on' by my peers. I've also been abused by bosses and authority figures. I've been pushed around by clients who refuse to pay for work I’ve fulfilled.

Even my spouse mistreats me at times, speaking to me as if I were a child, treating me like I am not capable of the simplest things.

You teach that we have to take personal responsibility for everything in our lives, but what could I possibly have done to ask for this?

Hi and thanks for the GREAT question!

The answer to this lies in the fact that at some point in your life, you gave your power away.

Sometimes this happens slowly due to a gradually escalating abusive relationship, and sometimes it happens when we are children and we don’t even really realize we had power to begin with.

The beauty of the situation is that this keeps showing up in your life to get you to see that you need to take your power back and STEP into being POWERFUL.

Abusers don’t want anything to do with a powerful person, because they can sense the strength at an energetic level.

In order to take your power back, I suggest that you make a list of ALL the things you are tolerating in your life, and then one by one either shift them or eliminate them.

This is non-negotiable! If you’re tolerating it, it MUST change.

Being a victim may have served a purpose in your past, but it certainly is not serving you now.

You must also begin to set boundaries with the people in your life. You need to tell them what you will no longer tolerate.

The next time someone belittles you or verbally abuses you, stop them and tell them that you will no longer tolerate being spoken to that way and remove yourself from the situation.

OK, now it’s up to you…step into your power and then GO KICK SOME ASS!

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

6 comments

How to set boundaries to protect your personal life

March 5, 2016

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Tina F.

Hi David,

I’m becoming aware that I have a boundary issue… meaning I don’t have boundaries around my business life and my personal life. My business is bleeding into every area of my life. Even my friendships and relationships are steeped in my business to the point where I feel like I can’t have a genuine conversation without someone in my life asking for coaching or business tips. How to I start to set boundaries for myself?

Thanks!

Hi Tina, and thanks for this question.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries:

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. Use your calendar and stick to it!

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like to travel, join a travel club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite destination, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversations.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

4 comments

4 tips for better boundaries in life and business

April 18, 2015

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Stefany B.

Hi David!

I feel like my business is swallowing me up, and it’s to the point now that I can’t see a difference between my personal life and my business life. Even my friendships and relationships are steeped in my business to the point where I feel like I can’t have a genuine conversation without someone in my life asking for coaching or business tips. I know I need to untangle this, but am unsure of the steps.

Thanks!

Hi Stefany, and thanks for this question.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries.

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business. Use your calendar and stick to it!

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like travel, join a travel club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won’t want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite destination, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you’re not open to a conversation about your business, and you don’t feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You’d much rather be their friend. If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversations.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

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I keep giving my expertise away for nothing!

November 17, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Erin.

Question:

Hi David,

Thank you for your guidance! I am a nutrition coach and also an elementary school teacher. I am often approached by friends/co-workers/acquaintances with questions about weight loss and management. I am passionate about my expertise and love to converse about these topics, however; when asked to provide more personal advice, I am uncertain about the best way to shift from an inquiring acquaintance to a client. Should I just outline my services and costs verbally? Email? Pamphlet? Your thoughts are much appreciated!

Answer:

Hi Erin, and thanks so much for your question!

I would like to take this moment to introduce you to your two new best friends…

THE QUESTION.

And

THE BOUNDARY.

You see part of your problem is that you're not in control of the conversations you're having with your friends/co-workers/acquaintances. You're allowing them to be in control. And the other part of the problem is that you're not setting clear boundaries about what you will and will not give away for free.

And the only way for you to regain control is to bring in the QUESTION.

I cover this in-depth in my training called Compassionate Conversion, but I'm happy to give you an abbreviated version here.

As soon as someone asks you a question, I'd like you to answer with a question. This allows you to be in control of the conversation, and positions you as an expert, rather than a friend/acquaintance/co-worker.

Example:

Co-worker: What's the fastest way to lose 10 lbs.?

You: What's your biggest frustration with losing weight?

In just the simple asking of that question, you can immediately see what they are really wanting help with, and they can see that you've got their best interests at heart. Let's continue:

Co-worker: I just can't seem to stick with eating healthy. I've tried and tried, and every time I last 2 weeks, and then end up eating Oreos.

You: I see. There are a number of reasons that can be a factor when trying to lose weight. Based upon what I know about you, I think I can help. I have a program I think could really help you kick the Oreos to the curb for good. When would you like to schedule a time to talk?

This sets a clear boundary that you're not going to solve all of their problems at no charge, and it maintains that you're in charge of the conversation.

Anyone in a “helping” profession can relate to this scenario, and the key is to use questions and boundaries to make sure that you're converting inquiries to clients.

If you'd like more (question by question) instruction on how to manage a sales conversation, go to: www.compassionateconversion.com

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

9 comments

Are your business & personal lives one in the same?

July 14, 2012

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Nicole Newsom. You can find her on the web at http://spiritsensellc.com/.

Question:

Hi David,
As a small business owner, everything is about running and keeping my business afloat. I have not had time for a personal life. When I get with people in my line of business, two things happen 1-they want me to mentor them for free; or 2-they want to sell me their services when all I want is a friend.
How can you separate your business and personal life when they are one in the same?

Answer:

Thank you for the question!

Nicole, the problems you are describing in your question are nothing more than boundary problems.

The fact that you see your business life and personal life as one is a key indicator that you have not set proper boundaries for your life and in your relationships.

Your business life should be your business life, and your personal life should be your personal life.

Here are some suggestions on how to set proper boundaries.

1) Have a set start and end time to your day. Do not let your work invade your personal time. Work will always fill the time you allot it, so you may find that you are much more efficient when you have a limited time to work on your business.

2) Get involved in something outside your business. If you like to sail, join a sailing club. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to hike, join a hiking club. This will expose you to people who know nothing about your business, but still share the same interests that you do. They won't want anything from you except your thoughts on your favorite boat, book, or hiking trail.

3) Schedule time with your current friends and gently let them know that you're not open to a conversation about your business, and you don't feel you can be their coach and their friend at the same time. You'd much rather be their friend. If you're worried about what you'll talk about, think about purchasing a small box of conversation starters. They are great to spark new and interesting conversation.

4) Do some journaling about who you are outside of your business. You need to begin to realize that your business is not your identity.

Keep in mind that as you do this, you may feel a small bit of anxiety. It's perfect normal as you begin to redefine who you are and what life you most want to live.

“Just Believe”,^®

P.S: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

P.P.S.: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

9 comments