Category: David

Hi David,

I loved your last post about relationships, and could really use your help with something. With the Holidays being in full swing, I know that I’m going to have to spend time with a family member that I’ve had a less than pleasant experience with this year. I’m over the hurt, but I do not trust them. I don’t want seeing them to send me in a tailspin…is this lack of trust going to deter my success after the holidays?

Trust should ALWAYS be earned.

As I wrote last week, the only way your family member can hold you back is if you make decisions based on what they think, rather than what you want.

If you find yourself caring more about what someone else thinks rather than what you think, you are holding yourself back.

But here is the most important lesson for you:

I want you to understand that if someone has broken your trust, chances are you’ve done the same thing to someone else and this situation is simply a mirror for you.

Remember you attract everything in your life from a place of who you are being, and to not take responsibility for part of the situation will only keep it alive and painful.

If you can see the truth in what happened, it will set you free.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Hi David,

I know you teach that how you do anything is how you do everything, so my question is about how my personal life may be affecting my success. I’m in a rocky romantic relationship currently and I’m also experiencing massive frustration in my business. Is this related or two totally separate issues I need to look at?

As Vernon Howard so eloquently states, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards. To say this in another way, never behave the way you think the other person wants you to behave, but in the manner you must. Nothing you really need to do or have ever requires a yielding to a person or custom.”

If you find yourself making decisions or stopping yourself for fear of what someone else will think or say, then you really need to take a close look at that relationship.

Is that you?

Are you true to yourself or do you make decisions based on what you believe your partner may feel, think or say?

Be honest with yourself.

So why wouldn’t you get up each morning excited to pick up the phone and HELP someone?

In a healthy relationship, both people should have the room and freedom that they need to foster their own growth. You have a responsibility to yourself to pursue your dreams, and if they don’t agree; they have the option to accept your desires or leave the relationship.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

What can I do to have a breakthrough in sales? I'm a new entrepreneur; I sell service-based trainings to corporations. I'm great at facilitating the trainings, but brand new to sales. I have a sales coach and I'm learning great sales technique, but I have a huge emotional and or psychological block to pick up the phone and make the calls.

How do I get over this self sabotage…this non identification with the sales piece?

Thanks!

You must go THROUGH it.

Think about it like this: You know you have an irrational fear of making calls, you know you need sales to grow your business, and you know that you’re not “comfortable” making calls.

So what if you just got comfortable being uncomfortable? How would things change?

What if instead of trying to get over the self-sabotage, you simply blew right through it?

I see so many entrepreneurs avoiding making sales calls because it’s uncomfortable, when in fact, making sales means doing something FOR someone rather than TO someone.

So why wouldn’t you get up each morning excited to pick up the phone and HELP someone?

Don’t spend time trying to figure out why you don’t want to make sales or how you can be comfortable; simply pick up the phone and connect with someone.

Have a meaningful conversation that’s in service to THEM, and walk right through that fear of making those calls.

The more you study sales strategy and the more you pick up the phone, the easier it will get, and you will be excited to make those calls.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

I am in two worlds, the corporate world during the day, and then my world as an artist – if I have the energy afterwards. I want to transition from the corporate world to having a successful, lucrative career as an artist, and so far have had some small successes, with being juried into shows, etc. I want big success, I want to get my stuff out there and share my vision of beauty with the world. I am not financially secure enough to just quit my day job, and I find the struggle disheartening at times. Any words of insight would be very much appreciated!

Thanks!

You see the truth is that you have a deep desire to be massively successful artist, but you also have a conflicting “set point” or sub-conscious belief that is giving you the message that it’s just not possible.

This belief is causing you to choose the perceived security of a day job over fully stepping into your gift. There may also be a hidden fear that’s keeping you from sharing your work with the world.

It’s hard to know the set point that’s stopping you without actually having a conversation with you. But just know if you truly wanted to be an artist more than anything and share your work, you would.

Uncovering those hidden beliefs you have is going to be key in helping you see how realizing your dream of becoming an artist is possible.

One suggestion I have for you would be to set a date to leave your day job and then go to work preparing for that day.

You must force yourself to release the belief that you need the day job to support you, it’s simply not true.

The other suggestion I would make is to really look at your beliefs and values. If you can become aware of what’s controlling your thinking, you can consciously choose differently.

It’s one of the main reasons I’m hosting a one-day training in New York on this specific topic. My goal is to help all the attendees identify their own set points that are in their way of their own wealth and success.

If you’d like to be one of the few to join me, click the link below to purchase your ticket for less than $100. And I look forward to seeing you in January! Here’s the link:

https://lifeisnow.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Event-Jan-2015-NYC

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

In this series I’m teaching you how to master the art of influence, so you have the power to change business problems into profitable opportunities ~ including turning the objections of your prospects into iron-clad commitments.

Part of that process involves identifying which of the four main styles feels most comfortable to you when conducting sales conversations.

Are you:

• The “warm friend”?

• The “stern parent”?

• The “seducer”?

• Or the “shamer”?

Being able to name your natural sales style is important, so that you can then ask yourself why.

The Why

Why does it feel more comfortable for you to employ that particular style in your sales conversations?

You want to know the answer to that question so that you can determine whether or not your comfort stems from emotional weakness.

For instance, are you their “friend,” because you know that warmth, enthusiasm and good will can encourage prospects to take a scary leap of faith? Or, are you friendly in your sales conversations because you’re afraid you’re going to upset somebody? Or because you have the need to be liked?

Are you the “seducer,” because you think that sex appeal is your only appeal and the only way to get people to listen to you? Or, are sensuality and a playful allure natural expressions that draw people to you like a magnet?

Are you the “shamer” because you have the need to belittle others in order to feel superior? Or do you truly want to help people step into a new and uncomfortable change ~ and you know that this style is very effective in psychologically triggering the audience to accept the offer.

Is the “stern parent” comfortable because you always have to be in control? Or, do you know that your direct and matter-of-fact truth-telling are the best swords for cutting through the haze of your prospects’ denial and fear?

Now What?

As you can see, there are potential positives and negatives associated with each style. So what do you do if your why stems from a weak place?

First, you need to face that weakness, and acknowledge what it’s costing you and your clients.

For example, it’s likely decreasing your sales, undermining your influence with others, and greatly diminishing your effectiveness as a leader, teacher or coach.

Next, you need to start influencing yourself. You don’t necessarily need to change the style that feels comfortable to you, just get rid of the fear that currently fuels it.

For example, let’s say, like a lot of people, you have a warm friend style because you’re afraid of making somebody upset. If that’s the case, you need to push through that fear and give yourself another experience.

So the next time in a sales conversation, when you feel that inner prompting to speak up or tell the truth or guide the conversation to an uncomfortable place, and you’re afraid to, do it anyway.

Show yourself that you and the other person can survive a little upset.

In fact, not only can you both survive it, but your pushing through your own fear can lead to a breakthrough for both of you.

And then your warm encouragement can be the perfect soft landing to then guide your prospect to his or her next step.

What is that next step?

Very likely, it’s working with you.

Hi David!

I’m so frustrated, and I’m not sure what to do to solve my problem. I seem to be stuck under a great glass income ceiling. Every time I have a great month and make sales, the following months decline, and my yearly income always stays the same (3rd year in a row). I feel like I’m “doing” everything I can to grow my income, and yet at the end of the year, here I am AGAIN.

Any suggestions for me?

Thanks!

First I want you to understand that sometimes your income has less to do with what you’re “doing” and more to do with what you believe.

Let me explain.

Maxwell Maltz, in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, teaches that all people have an internal “set point”, which he calls a cybernetic mechanism.

A cybernetic mechanism is a mechanism in both man and machines that determines and measures the deviation between a set point and a goal.

In fact, we have these set points everywhere in our lives. Think about your weight, your finances, and your environment.

What you may be experiencing is your own cybernetic mechanism or “set point” in regards to your yearly income.

Researchers have found that our cybernetic mechanisms are set based on our past programming. This means our ability to hit our goals, is actually based on beliefs that were passed on to us by others.

The only solution is to really become aware of what those hidden beliefs are, and then consciously begin to change and re-program them.

If you feel like you’re constantly trying to pedal up-hill, chances are that’s because your cybernetic mechanism is kicking in and your sub-conscious beliefs are working against you.

This is the reason I decided to host a 1-Day Income Acceleration Intensive this January in New York City. During that single day, I plan to take no more than 100 attendees through a process that will help them identify their cybernetic mechanism or set point and the beliefs behind why they just can’t seem to hit their financial goals.

If you’d like to be one of the few to join me, click the link below to purchase your ticket for less than $100. And I look forward to seeing you in January! Here’s the link:

https://lifeisnow.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Event-Jan-2015-NYC

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

Hi David!

I am the daughter of an immigrant, and my parent’s expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in a precarious place. I’m stuck and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?

Thanks!

You won’t relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you won’t be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward, you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

Accept that fact, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE life…who are you going to live it for?

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

If you want to influence others to buy your products and programs, you must first influence yourself.

I’ve been telling you that for a few weeks, and now I’m going to show you how.

1. Get Real

The first step to influencing yourself is to get real. You need to be honest with yourself about the ideological prison that you’re in, so that you can influence your ideal prospects to get out of theirs.

For instance, do you believe in abundance or do you believe in lack? Do you believe that if you have the desire, the way to meet that desire is in your life right now? Or are you telling yourself what you can’t afford? Or why you can’t have what you want?

Negative beliefs like these steal thousands from your bottom line every year. They repel high-paying clients and blind you to the opportunities that are all around you.

Fortunately, you can change your beliefs, and, as I said, the first step to that is acknowledging the prison bars that they’ve created for you.

2. Talk to Yourself

Your spouse, business, children or pets all require your attention and have an impact on you emotionally. If you immediately move from interacting with problems or issues to jumping on the phone, you will surely carry reaction energy into your sales call.

If you remember, “reaction energy” is most people’s primary mode, where they just react to whatever is going on. If you carry that energy into a sales call, you have a tendency to use force as a tool. You may reveal too much to your prospects or want to be right or try to make them wrong. Whatever you do, you’re not in your power.

That’s why every sales conversation needs to begin with a conversation with yourself.

Spend 10 minutes before every sales call, asking yourself questions like these:

“What is the desired outcome of this call?”

“What energy state do I need to be in, in order to be influential when I’m on the call?”

“How will I help this person get out of his/her prison?”

“How am I going to influence him/her?”

In those 10 minutes you can totally shift to a place of “influence energy,” which means that you sit in your power with the highest good of your prospects in mind, and direct your conversations in a way that lets the prospects influence ~ and sell ~ themselves.

3. Gain Knowledge

The third key to becoming your own power of influence is to gain knowledge at the level that you want to be, not where you are.

Be willing to stretch your mind and travel to events. If you won’t invest in trainings for yourself, how can you expect your clients to invest in yours?

If, instead, you know in your gut the value of reaching for where you want to be, as opposed to where you are, you can persuasively demonstrate that value when your prospects are huddled in the dank corner of their prisons, afraid to face their fears.

It’s Not Difficult to Do

Becoming your own power of influence is not rocket science, but it is just as transformative for you.

By incorporating these simple mindset shifts, you can totally change your results.
You can empower yourself to impact other people’s lives for the good, while boosting your own income to the stars.

Hi David!

Sales question for you…

The biggest obstacle in my sales happens when I get an email from a prospect that goes something like this:

Hi Al,

I’m interested in working with you. Can you send me a list of your programs and the price for each?

In the past, I’ve always sent the information they were requesting, but then I rarely hear back from them, and since I don’t have their number, I can’t call to follow up.

I’d love to know how you’d respond.

Thanks!

You don’t know if your programs or services can help someone unless you speak with them, AND if they are considering working with you directly, you don’t know if you want to help them.

Also, if they are basing their decision on price, chances are they are not going to choose the program that’s actually going to solve their problem.

Here is an example of a great response that positions you well and is also in service to your prospect.

Dear Prospect,

Thank you so much for inquiring about my services. However, simply giving you a price for my programs without having a conversation to discuss the unique needs of your business, your goals, and your vision is not in service to you and something I simply will not do.

I’d be happy to offer you a 15 min conversation to determine which program might best meet your needs and if at any time, you believe your time is wasted, we can say our goodbyes and move on.

Please respond to this email with 3 times that may work for us to connect in the next several days.

I look forward to connecting with you!

This short email makes a clear statement that you are not interested in working with people who are discount shoppers, and allows you to remain in control of the conversation.

If they don’t respond with dates and time to connect, you know they most likely would not have invested with you in the first place.

PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.

When you have the desire to do or have something, but your personal or financial situation indicates to you that you can’t, you’re in prison.

You want something. You can’t have it. You’re stuck.

As your ideal prospects contemplate buying your service or product, many of them are in a prison of their situation too. They want or need what you’re got, but they think that they don’t have the money or their spouse won’t let them do it or the funds are earmarked for something else.

Whatever their prison is, they believe it. Those bars are very real for them.

If you haven’t integrated the Five Pillars of Influence, their prison may be real for you too. In fact, you’re probably in there with them, agreeing with their assessment or trying to convince them that they’re wrong. Either way, you’re losing the sale while they miss out on the solution that would change their life.

Fortunately, there’s an alternative.

Become Your Own Power of Influence

As I said last time, you need to bring them to clarity to bridge the gap between their prison and your solution, so that they naturally influence themselves. They buy from you and they feel really good about it.

The first step to doing that is Pillar 1: Become Your Own Power of Influence. That means, you learn how to influence yourself.

Think about it, how can you coax someone out of their prison, unless you have coaxed yourself out of yours?

You can’t. To help them, you must first help yourself.

How I Became My Own Power of Influence

Listen, I have been there. When I first started as an entrepreneur, nobody knew who I was. I didn’t have a cultivated market. I didn’t have a website.

I literally started off making cold calls, and, because I was completely broke, I needed to make sales right out of the gate.

The other thing you have to understand is that I was not a born salesperson. I had dabbled in sales, and I was okay at it, but I hated it with a passion. That’s right. I could not stand sales.

Then one day, early in our work together, my mentor asked me why I didn’t like to sell. I told him that I had no idea. “I just don’t like to do it,” I said.

He shook his head and said, “I know why you don’t like it. It’s because you think sales is something that you do to somebody, but it’s not. Sales is not something that you do to someone. It’s something that you do for them.”

In that moment the dots connected for me and my thinking shifted so dramatically that it allowed me to come at sales from a completely different perspective.

I finally understood what had been holding me back. As long as I felt that I was doing something to prospects, sales felt bad. It felt bad to sell to somebody.

But once I realized that I was offering my ideal prospects a solution that they actually need and want ~ I was offering them a way out of their own prisons ~ I came not only to love sales, but became very good at it, and my income skyrocketed.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had also just taken the first step toward becoming my own power of influence. I’ll show you how you can start doing that for yourself next time.