Tag: The Neagle Code

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Sharon.

Question:

I feel like I have a huge roadblock preventing me from my growth and he happens to be my husband. I know that I need to invest in my business, particularly in coaching and in speaking, but my husband will freak out of I spend money on these things. I understand Universal principles, and he thinks they are smoke in mirrors. Because of this I find myself not stepping into opportunities because of his perceived reaction to those decisions. Any tips?

Answer:

Money and relationships are pretty tricky, but they don't have to be.

If you and your husband have different beliefs around money, I recommend that you both start taking responsibility for your selves.

This also means that you have to stop using your husband as a shield to your success, because let's be honest here, if this situation wasn't serving you, it wouldn't be happening.

Make your own money, have your own banking accounts, and split the joint bills and expenses.

If you want to invest in your business it won't threaten his sense of security, because you'll have your own money and also be responsible for your portion of your joint expenses.

So many couples struggle with money, especially if one partner makes more than the other. Sometimes it works great and other times it's incredibly disempowering for the person who is not the breadwinner.

If you feel like your decisions are limited by your husband's money mindset, you need to have a heart to heart conversation with him, and let him know that from now on, you'll both be responsible for the bills, but that everything else will go into separate accounts.

This gives him the freedom to do what he wants with his income, and it gives you the freedom as well.

It's against the laws to ask him to change. This way, you'll both have the freedom to believe what you want about money and invest as you wish.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Val Charman.  You can find her on the web at www.valcharman.co.uk.

Question:

Dear David,

Please can you tell me how you get past the fear of success? I know that I'm not afraid of failure as I have done that many times but just as I get close to a breakthrough, or am in danger of achieving my goal, something bad happens and I have to start all over again. I am convinced that I am sabotaging my own success out of some inbuilt fear and I don't know how to overcome it.

Many thanks for your help.

Answer:

Hi Val and thanks for your question!

The truth is that no one is actually afraid of success.

That's a false lie created by our ego.

If you were afraid of success, you'd never put your pants on the in the morning, because even putting your pants on is a success.

In reality what people ARE afraid of is:

1)   The fear of what they believe they will have to sacrifice to be successful. This is mainly true in regard to relationships.

So you are correct, you are sabotaging your success.

Universal truth states that we create everything; all the good and bad, all the successes and all the failures.

So you need to get very clear on how never achieving the success you want keeps you safe.

I know you're thinking, “No David, not having the success keeps me feeling unsafe, why would I not want success?”

And I would answer that you have to consider what fear is renting space in your brain, because if you wanted that success as much as you wanted air to breath, you would have it.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Fourteen years ago my husband died leaving me to raise our two small children. They have both recently left home to pursue their university studies. I had expected this to be a time of relative freedom for me. My 91-year-old mother lives on her own in a neighboring town and has started to demand much of my (extra) time. I have seven siblings but have been put in the default care position by virtue of geography. Mostly, my out of town siblings don't want to hear about the time and travel and endless phone calls I put in for our mother's emotional and physical care.

Statistics show that my Mom won't be around that much longer. Through all of this I have become extremely frustrated and have considered moving away to force my family to take some responsibility and allow me the freedom I expected. Having just come out of several challenging years as a Realtor, part of me would like to stay and reap the harvest of an improving market.

Stay and wait for the eventuality or move and grab my freedom?

Answer:

In order for you to make a decision you need to first really “see” what's happening here.

First, if you didn't want to be your mother's caregiver, you wouldn't be. So you need to ask yourself how it's serving you to be the person assuming the majority of the care for your mom.

I'm suspecting that there is a fear within you of actually standing center with your siblings.

What would happen if you simply refused to shoulder the responsibility?

How would they react?

Would that be painful for you?

This is about you getting very clear about what you want for yourself.

If you want the freedom you speak of above, you would have a conversation with your family and work out a solution to this problem rather than running away from it.

If they refuse to help, a possible solution may even be to hire in-home care and split the costs between the siblings.

You shouldn't need to move to create an excuse for voicing what you think or feel.  That's simply avoidance of the real issue, and nothing good can come from it.

Step into being empowered and everything will shift.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

Dear David,
A year ago I decided that I wanted all lies out of my life and within 3 days of making this decision, my life had literally shattered into a million pieces after I found out that my husband of 23 years was having an affair. We separated days later and although I am glad that I found out the truth, I have also been left with the job of picking up the pieces of my life alone, with no help. I understand that as you say, I am the center of my own universe, and I am the one that created that relationship, and I am happy to take responsibility. I am studying the laws and trying to pull my life together by working with the laws but my question to you is – when I eventually meet another man how will I know if can him trust him. How can I use the laws to ensure that I don't waste any more of my life on unsuitable people?

Answer:

Hi, and thanks for your question.

The Law states that we attract what we are, not what we want.

So to use the Laws to ensure that you don't waste any more of your life on unsuitable people, you must get very clear with yourself as to why you would have attracted your husband and his subsequent actions.

If everyone in our life is a mirror for us, and no one is a victim, then we must take responsibility for everything in our lives and see the lessons as they are.

Cheaters cheat for only one reason.

They don't have the courage to say what they want.

Is this also something you struggle with?

Do you have difficulty saying what you want, even if it means the loss of a relationship or judgment from those around you? Is there something you were lying to yourself about?

Once you have clarity around why you attracted the affair into your life, you must go to work on getting very clear about the person you'd like to meet.

You see, we are not taught how to attract a partner. Most relationships start with a physical attraction, and we fall in love, and most times, we fall in love with the wrong person.

To really make sure that you're attracting an ideal relationship you must write out what qualities and values you're looking for, and then you yourself must live those qualities and values.

Use that list as the authority in deciding if a relationship stays or goes, and it will help you find a relationship that will bring more life to you both.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

I was visiting with some dear friends who are very much in the Lack mentality. For instance my friend prides herself on how she only buys her clothes at Salvation Army because it saves her so much money or constantly is telling me how much she paid for something. I find myself either biting my tongue to share my new insights with her or judging her or thirdly slipping back into the same thought patterns. She is a dear friend and I don't get to see her often but how do you respond to people who are on a different path than you. Is it best just to keep quiet?

Answer:

Thanks for the great question!

I know first hand that this is a question that many people struggle with.

The first rule of thumb is that you should always surround yourself with people who are of like mind and goals. There is some truth to the old saying; “You are a product of the 5 closest people in your life”.

The second thing I'd like to point out is that if you're not verbally disagreeing with your friend, her lack beliefs are seeping into your subconscious.

Have you ever spent time with them, and then suddenly found yourself slipping back into lack thoughts and decisions, not even realizing it until you caught yourself days later?

And the third point here is that your friends aren't asking you to help them change, therefore, it's not your place to “set them straight”. They have the right to believe whatever they want, and if it bothers you, it's your responsibility to make the choice to accept them, or to limit your time with them.

Usually when I get this question, I ask, “How is the relationship serving you“, and I think it's something you may want to take a look at.

You've probably heard the saying, “A relationship is for a reason, season or a lifetime.”

It may be time for you to spend less time with these dear friends, and focus on making new friendships that support your ideals and growth.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Question:

How do I find the right employees to fit my culture, growth, and technical expertise needed with a limited highly skilled/specialized labor pool?

Answer:

Thanks for the great question!

When doing ANY hiring, you always need to first start with yourself.

Are you the right person to do the hiring? Be honest.

Do you have a poor track record of turn over within your business?

Businesses lose money every time they have to fire and hire, so at times, it's often less time consuming and more cost effective to turn to a professional to assist you in hiring.

They are skilled at not only knowing what questions to ask you to make sure you attract qualified people, but also what questions to ask the potential employee.

An outside service can be more objective and know how to “read between the lines” in an interview so that only qualified people who will match your culture make the cut.

If you feel like you are the person to do the hiring, sit down and make a list of all the qualities and skills you're looking for in the “right” person.

Be specific. When hiring you want to be able to clearly explain both “duties” and expectations.

My friend Tony Hsieh of Zappos.com always encourages people to hire slow and fire fast.

I couldn't agree more.

If you find that you are still having difficulty finding the right position to fill a role in the company, you may need to take a long hard look at why you are attracting the situation.

Are you keeping yourself the bottle neck in your company so as to stay hidden or not have to take risks to grow?

Do you have issues with trusting someone else to do a job that you know you can do well?

Remember, everything starts with you, so the more clear and honest you can be with yourself and others, the easier that position will be to fill.

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.

This week's question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Victoria Buckman.  You can find her on the web at ProgrammedForWealth.com. 

Question:

I am building my 1:1 coaching business and want to reach more women. What is the best way to grow my list quickly?

Answer:

Great question.

First I want to make sure you understand that growing your list quickly is not always the smartest way to build your coaching business.

You really want to grow your list with qualified people who are really interested in what you do.

There are many ways out there currently that promise to build your list quickly, but building a smaller more qualified list is the secret to increasing your income.

It's the difference between building a house out of straw versus building a house of brick.

Quality is the key.

It's always better to have a smaller list of people who are engaged and buying, then a large list of people who rarely open your newsletter.

All that being said, the single most effective way to build a quality list right now is to GET OUT!

Get out of your house, get out from behind your computer and talk to people.

Sponsor events, attend events, speak, create your own workshops or events no matter how small, and start getting your name out there.

Talk to people at the grocery store, gas station and mall. Shake their hand and look them in the eye.

Think of places your target market would frequent and put yourself there.

The more people you meet face to face, the more impact you'll have.

And when those people receive your newsletter, they will read it, because they know you.

You've already had a personal impact on them, and they'll WANT to know what you're offering next!

“Just Believe”,^®

PS: The Neagle Code: DIRECTIONS for LIFE is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I'll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.TheNeagleCode.com to participate.

PPS: May I ask you to help me spread the word about this program? Is there someone you care for who is stuck, or struggling, or lost, or unhappy? Because if so, I would very much like to help. No matter their question, no matter their predicament, no matter if they've never heard of me before … if they would like to ask for help via www.TheNeagleCode.com, my Team and I will do our very best to provide that help.